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Please tell me MiserAlba is not naming her baby Honor! She's doing a dishonor to that little girl by giving her that name. Star Magazine reports that MiserAlba is having a little chickie and has already picked out the name Honor. HONOR!

MiserAlba's baby shower is this Sunday and bitches have been buying her gifts. A source said that one friend of MiserAlba picked up a little charm bracelet with the name HONOR on it.

The source went on to say, "This woman was so exited that Jessica is having a girl. She said she loved the name too, Honor, and said Jessica picked it because she felt it was an honor to have Cash's baby. She said she couldn't wait to give it to Jessica this weekend. She asked twice if the bracelet would be ready by then."

Press pause. She thinks it's an honor to have a man's baby? What the hell is this? Medieval times? And if it is, where's my damn turkey leg! There's no way MiserAlba said that. She's a bitch!

I'm going to choose to sweep this little rumor under the rug until the birth certificate is signed. I'm going to say a prayer tonight to La Pequena and ask that MiserAlba changes her mind. Obviously, MiserAlba needs to name her daughter Misery Chastaine. You can't go wrong in naming your kid after a Kathy Bates movie.

Images removed per request

At first I thought these were pictures of an overly airbrushed Cher. I think I would rather see Cher's crotch than Alanis'. I blame Madonna for this madness! She flashes her twatty everywhere likes it's something we want to see.

I know what Alanis is doing. She's fucking teasing us. She has that look in her eye like, "Yeah, Ryan Reynolds' tongue was all in this. He had this all-you-can-eat buffet every night." I don't blame him. I would bury my head in her crotch too. It would beat looking at her face. Awwwww...how can I hate on Alanis? She wrote the lyric "How about them transparent dangling carrots." How can I hate that? I like transparent dangling carrots.

Here's Alanis' promo shots for her new album "Flavors of Entanglement."

Earlier, I posted about how Heidi Montag's fake rack is voting for John McCain. I'm not joking. I think her rack does all her writing. She puts a pen between her tits and signs everything with it. She thinks it looks sexy. Anyway, John McCain got word of this and he responded.

He told Time's Swampland, "I'm honored to have Heidi's support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of The Hills, especially since the new season started."

It's so heartwarming to see requited love. It makes me feel so warm inside that I could fart out last month's jizz.

Heidi and John should get married, move to Mars and have a million babies together. Seriously, she's totally blowing the dude. Blowing him while he watches "The Hills" of course. He never misses an episode!

Lindsay Lohan went on TMZ TV to make fun of herself for always wearing leggings, not wearing panties and carrying around that Aviva gum. UGH! Just when I'm starting to think that Lohan is about as likeable as the massive corn on my big toe, she goes and does shit like this. I'm grossing myself out for thinking that's sweet. Quick! White Oprah needs to say something annoying, so I can go back to blaming Linds for making that woman famous.

VIA ONTD

Your eyes are not deceiving you. It's really happening. Whip out those acid wash jeans and Camp Beverly Hills t-shirt! It's Joey, Jonathan, Donnie, Jordan and Danny in their first picture together in 15 years.

They will all be on "Today" this Friday and are expected to announce plans for their NKOTB reunion tour and album. I am going to campaign hardcore for them to get Sweet Sensation to open up for their them. I think if that happened, I would explode into a million pieces of Big League chewing gum.

OK! Magazine claims Britney Spears lost 15 pounds in just 4 weeks. What's her diet secret? It's called copy and paste! The magazine used a picture from a Glamour Magazine shoot she did in 2003. It really is her old body! No pills, no lipo, just Photoshop.

They should have at least added a few beady-beads to her weave to make it look more current.

Source: The Huffington Post

Brit Brit is coming full circle. She's already reportedly reunited with Larry Rudolph and now she's trying to get back into KFed's bed? That's if you believe Star Magazine. They claim Brit and KFed had a secret meeting during Easter weekend. During this secret meeting, they decided they should run away to Maui for a couple of days. I think this source got it wrong. KFed asked Britney for more money, because he wanted to buy some Maui Wowie. He doesn't want to run away with her to Maui!

A source said, “Kevin wants to take Britney away to see if there is anything to salvage between them. When he suggested it to her, she told him she was ready to go anytime he was.”

The sourcie also claims she bought him a $138,000 diamond watch. Again! It wasn't $138,000. It was $138 and it was for the Maui Wowie! That shit is gooood. Even Brit knows it.

If this is true, then I hope their second wedding is just as elegant as their first. I'm thinking White Castle for the ceremony and Hooter's for the reception.

I think I'm more interested in the Shiloh chipping her tooth story. She probably tripped while walking down the aisle as the flower girl in Brangelina's wedding. You know, the wedding that never was.

Sharon Stone left her Paris hotel this morning with a four-legged companion. We all know what Sharon likes to do with furry four-legged creatures. She likes to wear them! FreeTranslation.com told me "save him" in French is l'épargner. L'épargner!!!!

Cruella De Stone is on her way to the House of Dior to turn that puppy into leg warmers. She plans to sedate doggy in the car by recreating her "Basic Instinct" leg crossing scene for him.

Color me stunned! I thought Xuxa had it in the pussy bag. Speaking of Xuxa, she told a Brazilian newspaper that she's not sure what her position is on being called a "Hot Slut of the Week." She said she would watch to see what this does to her "image." Please. I'm sure doing a sex scene with a 13-year-old did wonders for her image. Anyway......

Pete Doherty managed rise above and beat Xuxa, Ramona Singer and Laura Bozzo to become Dlisted's Hot Slut of March! Petey couldn't make it to today's Hot Slut awards ceremony, so I will accept this bag of sugar on his behalf.

I also chose to not use a normal picture of Petey looking like a crusty, coke bugger tissue. Doesn't he look utterly lovely here? Even that black hole above Pete loves him so much that it just wants to suck him in.

Thanks to all who voted!

Thanks Luis for Xuxa tip!

Cameron Diaz thinks she's a lot of woman - IDLYITW

Jakey G is topless! - Popsugar

Leelee Sobieski is a porn star - Egotastic!

Cheryl Tweedy thinks she's so hot and may I have to agree - Hollywood Tuna

Kidman Bump Watch '08: It's getting there - Just Jared

Dita Von Teese's lesbo porn tape (NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Babies and lemons don't mix - Cityrag

Dane Cook isn't funny, but he's kind of sexy - A Socialite's Life

Vadge keeps her legs shut for Elle Magazine - Pink Is The New Blog

Brit Brit will be Jamie Lynn's maid of horror - Hollywood Rag