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The case of the 8 Florida teens that were arrested for beating down a teenager and videotaping it has caught the attention of Dr. Phil. He must be stopped! TMZ reports that Dr. Phil's show allegedly paid the $30,000 bond of Mercades Nichols. Mercades was reportedly the ring leader and her grandmother recently told reporters that she couldn't afford her bond. Most of the other teens were also released on bond this Friday night.

A dude from the Dr. Phil show escorted Mercades out of jail last night. He also told reporters to step off, because Dr. Phil had the exclusive rights to the story.

Dr. Phil issued this statement to TMZ and basically blamed it on his staff:

"We have helped guests and potential guests in the past when they need financial assistance to come on the show - assisting with clothing allowance, lost wages, accommodations, travel and necessities. In this case, certain staff members went beyond our guidelines (re: the bail being paid). These staff members have been spoken to and our policies reiterated. In addition, we have decided not to go forward with the story as our guidelines have been compromised."

Oprah has created a monster! A monster that won't even accept responsibility for his own stupidity. Dr. Phil needs serious help. He should check into "Celebrity Rehab" for his attention whore disorder. Only Dr. Drew can save him.

Beyonce and Jay-Z sat courtside at the Rockets vs. Suns game last night in Houston and both were not wearing wedding rings. I find myself blowing up pictures of them and carefully searching for the slightest glimmer of a ring. Pathetic! Why do I care so much? Even Solange is cackling at me. I bet this was all planned from the beginning by Papa Knowles. They are getting so much attention, because they haven't confirmed their marriage.

Papa Joe Simpson is probably beating his willy with a wet paddle for not coming up with this scheme for his precious Asshole and Jessica.

59-year-old Ivana Trump made 35-year-old Rossano Rubicando her fourth husband today in Palm Beach, FL reports People. The two married at Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate in front of 500 guests. Ivana's ring alone cost $1 million. They also had a 50 member wedding party. Guests included Donald Trump, George Hamilton, Ivanka Trump and Kathy Hilton.

Ivana took inspiration from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" for her wedding and reception. A 12-foot tall wedding cake was flown in from Germany and a 24-piece orchestra came in from Paris. This wedding is a tacky mess! It's just missing midgets from Russia dressed as gold cupids carrying Ivana in on a bed of tiger fur.

Ivana began dating Rossano six years. He's an Italian "actor/model." Of course he's an actor and model! Could he be anything else? Well, he could be an escort. He probably forget to mention that little tidbit.

Rossano said, "She's an amazing woman. Beautiful, smart, sexy, powerful, successful, young in spirit." He forgot to mention RICH. Yeah, what's the point of stating the obvious reason for you marrying someone. I know, I know. I'm such a grouchy piece of trash. They love each other. It's true, true love!

Remember that Ivana's hot reality show "Ivana Young Man?" She should have shot another season of that hotness instead of marrying this dude.

Alicia Keys talked to Blender magazine for their May issue and it's not just all about music and if she eats coochie or not. Alicia gets deep. Really deep. Alicia gets into talking conspiracy theories.

The interviewer, Jonah Weiner, starts talking to Alicia about her love for music of the Notorious B.I.G. She tells him her favorite song of his is "Me & My Bitch." Jonah asks her what other gangsta rapper she likes and she answered, "Gangsta rap' was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. Gangsta rap' didn't exist."

Wait, WHAT?! She apparently really said that! Jonah responded with, "A ploy by whom?" Alicia answered, "The government."

Alicia said she's been reading a lot of Black Panther autobiographies. She wears a gold AK-47 pendant to "symbolize strength, power and kill 'em dead." Alicia goes on to say that she believes Tupac and Biggie were assassinated "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing."

She's also planning to write more political songs. She said if the late Black Panther Huey Newton “had the outlets our musicians have today, it’d be global. I have to figure out a way to do it myself."

The Associated Press contacted Alicia, but her rep said she was on vacation and not available for comment. Blender contacted Alicia's mother about the AK-47 necklace she wears, her mother responded with, “She wears what? That doesn’t sound like Alicia.”

Alicia is giving our government too much creative credit. Those dumb fucks can barely hum a tune, let alone come up with a whole genre of music.

I have a feeling Alicia is going to quickly issue a statement saying bitches were drunk and high and she didn't mean it like that. Who knows? Maybe she didn't.

Papa Clive Davis is not going to like this!

Thanks Ivanyla

Amy Wino has picked up a new addiction and this one doesn't involve filling her body with chemicals. Wino is addicted to ironing. Friends say she's obsessed with it and irons everything.

Showbiz Spy reports that a friend said, “She has become absolutely obsessed with ironing things. Not just her clothes but also towels, sheets, scarves. Anything really. She’s a very obsessive person and has always been addicted to something. We’ve had cannabis, cocaine, crack, heroin and her husband Blake Fielder-Civil. All the others have been rather more destructive, apart from knitting, which she has also had an on/off love affair with. But ironing is definitely her new favorite.”

While she's at it, she needs to iron out that weave. This doesn't surprise me. Crackheads become obsessed with the simplest of tasks. Their shaky hands have to be doing something. A bunch of them should get together and open up a house-cleaning service. They would be kick ass. Your jewelry might be missing, but your bathroom would never shine brighter!

In other Wino news, she has decided to stop recording her next album. That means there won't be a new album until 2009. Well, she has ironing to do!

UK reality star and worldwide wreck, Kerry Katona, had a baby boy yesterday. Her fourth baby weighed in at 5lbs 4oz. They have named him Max after her publicist. Max came nearly 5 weeks early.

MTV already has footage of Kerry in the delivery room. No joke! Kerry and her husband, Mark Croft, are currently filming their reality show for MTV UK.

Kerry said, "He's absolutely fine, he's beautiful. We can't wait to get him home. It's a beautiful boy to go with our three girls."

Kerry's pregnancy was plagued with rumors that she was drinking and doing drugs while knocked up. She even smoked on camera while pregnant (above).

Good luck to Max! He's going to need it. Click here to see my absolutely favorite picture of Kerry coming out of Bargain Booze at 9 in the morning. Classic.

Feminist hero and glorified skank, Heidi Montag, galloped down the catwalk last night for the launch of Heidiwood for Anchor Blue. Heidi's pony show was held at the Hollywood & Highland Center.

Racked LA reports that in honor of this momentum occasion, the center was renamed Heidiwood & Highland for one day. That sounds pretty fitting since Hollywood & Highland is going to be Heidi's corner in a few years when the "reality whore thing" stops working out for her.

The fashion show featured Heidi wannabes modeling her trash. None of them really looked like they should be grazing in the open fields, so they weren't much of a Heidi look-alike.

Crystle Stewart, a 26-year-old entrepeauner from Texas, was crowned Miss Tranny USA 2008 in Las Vegas last night! Crystle beat out 50 other trannies, soap star rejects and porn stars to the win the crown.

Seriously! I caught some of this mess last night and it felt like I was watching a tranny beauty pageant from the 80s. It was a good thing Christian Siriano was a judge, because these women put the "hot tranny mess" in "hot tranny mess." I didn't know that many rhinestones and sequins existed in the world. And the make-up. The make-up! These chicks looked like they were sprayed down by the auto-paint specialists at Maaco. Overload!

Crystle from Texas was the best choice though. I'm sure she's pretty hot without 10,000 pounds of make-up laying on her face. She also gave the best answer to her "final question," but that's not saying much. The girl basically had no competition, because the other girls were pretty much brain dead.

The women also had to wear faux fur during the swimsuit competition. TACKY! This isn't Miss Mafia Princess!

Below is a clip of the "final question" portion of the show. The panel of judges was actually pretty hot. Heather Mills, Christian Siriano, Kimber from Nip/Tuck, Ken Paves and Hope from Days of Our Lives in one room together! Train wreck!

Brit Brit finally got her old fake hair replaced with new fake hair last night. I pity the fool that had to venture in there to clean her shit up. They should have sent in Terminix first to survey the damage before sending in an innocent civilian.

Her new weave looks like it belongs on My Little Pony's ass, but it's still looking a lot better than what she had before. Don't fret, it will be back to looking like the hairball your cat coughed up this morning in no time!

Neeeeeeeena Garcia, fashion director at Elle Magazine is no longer the fashion director at Elle Magazine. WWD reports that the bitch is out! Nina went to work yesterday morning, but by the afternoon there were rumors that she was no longer part of the Elle family.

Why do they always fire a bitch on Friday? Almost always. Personnel thinks that Friday is a good day, because it's almost the weekend which means you'll have plenty of freinds and family to console you. What's even worse is when it's Friday MORNING! I mean, call a bitch up and tell me over the phone, so I don't have to drag my lazy ass into the office for no reason. Anyway....

There's been rumors during the past few months that Neeeeena would soon be leaving the magazine. Let's face it, the bitch is a big TV star now. Big TV stars should not be working shoulder-to-shoulder with magazine peons!

No word on if this effects her role as a judge on "Project Runway." This better not! My favorite part of the show is when Heidi Klum announces her as, "Neeeeeeeeena Garcia!"

Since the show is moving to Lifetime, they are totally going to replace Neeeeena with Tracey Gold.