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Don't worry! Britney's true love still belongs to her. Shit, I don't even know if they are together anymore. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Adnan Ghalib and Kathy Griffin were hanging around for either her reality show or that lameness known as "Pop Fiction." The two drove down Robertson and then went shopping at Victoria's Secret. They made sure the paps noticed them. This a sad display right here. Kathy! Don't get involved in this shit. You're above that. Yeah, I laughed at that too.

Kathy is definitely not dumb enough to leave that gazillionire boyfriend of hers. If she is dumb enough, I will put on my Heelys, wheel my ass to Los Angeles, slap her and then try to take her man. And please tell Adnan that gay cockatoo wants his haircut back already!

Meet 32-year-old Gordon Thompson from Plymouth in the UK. Gordon has been sent to the chokey for 3 years, because he jumped on his girlfriend's leg until it broke. She wanted him to do it. Yup, the dumb fuck's girlfriend asked him to break her leg, so that they could sue the council house (public housing) they lived in. Don't these morons know that never works!

The geniuses filmed the whole thing with a camera phone. Gordon's girlfriend wrapped herself in a duvet and laid face down on the floor. He propped up her leg using two bricks, one by her ankle and one by her knee. Gordon then jumped on her leg and it made a loud crunching noise. Everyone in the court room apparently gasped. Gordon and his girlfriend told the council she broke it by her garden wall falling. She should have told them evil gnomes that live in the garden wall did it. That would have been more believable.

The morons got caught, because the police were called to the house on a drug warrant. They seized several things included the cell phone. It's then that they found the footage and an incomplete insurance form.

When asked why he did it, Gordon said, ''I did break her leg, but only because she had kept on and on at me for days to do it. I only jumped on her leg to shut her up.''

Click here to see blurry stills of the incident.

While Parasite Hilton spreads her disease through Europe, casting calls are taking place for her new MTV reality show. OK! Magazine reports that a casting call in NYC recently brought out a total of 40 wannabe fake friends of Wonky. Organizers of the call were expecting a larger turnout.

A source said, "There were girls wearing matching pastel prom dresses with Swarovski crystal pendants and updos, ghetto-fabulous girls and two goth-inspired girls with bleach blonde hair, pale makeup, eyelash extensions and leather clothing.” That sounds like.......hell. Worse than hell.

If you haven't checked out the homepage for the show, you must. It's where people upload their pictures and profiles to be considered for the show. Every now and again magic happens and some hot bitch will post a disgusting picture of an open butt hole or something like that. An open butt hole is the perfect BFF for Paris.

Here's some pics of Paris and Boy George in London today showing off their bowel movement and pussy hole rings to a bunch of people that probably could give an eff.

This is an example on how pubies on the face could work for a man and how it could also make him look like a peyote chewing, roadside killer. Wait, since I've mentioned peyote....is that shit any good? E-mail me!

Anyway, Robert Downey Jr. does facial hair good. The truth of the matter is that Rob Do could have hair on his teeth and I would still get with that. He keeps his shit trimmed and clean. He doesn't have any tricks in there. He keeps it classic.

Johnathon Schaech on the other hand, needs to take a razor to that shit on his way to the tanning bed. He already looks like death died on his face and the facial pubies are not helping his case. Even Skeletor is saying, "Damn, he looks beat." That sucks, because I used to foam out of every hole for this fella.

The other trouble with facial hair is, how do you keep shit from getting in it? It's already embarrassing when you have stains on your clothes from quick sexy times. Can you imagine chunky jizz in the beard? Illegal. And no it's not a slow news day, I just think about these kind of things. Blame it on the 4 Snoballs I just ate.

Here's more pics of Johnny at the premiere of Prom Night and Rob Do at a photocall for Iron Man in Mexico City.

Kate Hudson looked like he was having some sort of wardrobe malfunction during the London premiere of "Foolio's Gold" today. That's what the bitch gets for stealing one of Blanche Devereaux's dresses. It's too small for her ass. Kate needed an extra pair of Spanx to suck her in even more. Matthew looked like he tried to help her, but that stoner isn't much help.

Somebody go throw some sand, sweat and pig blood on Matt. He looks too clean and that obviously makes him uncomfortable. Shit, throw some patchouli on him! That crap reeks like butt oil. It does and don't try to tell me otherwise, hippies.

Mario Lopez's Broadway coming out is on April 15th in "A Chorus Line" and here the first pictures of him in his costume. Costume my ass! He wears that shit on a daily basis. I've already seen this shit and I'm not about to see it again even if hot ass Lopez in it. Well, unless they add a shower scene.

Many of you are already aware of Mario's amazing talents as a dancer. Did you know he can play the drums AND sing at the same time? Mind-boggling! The clip is below. Mario's solo is towards the middle. The kid in the green is the inspiration for my Summer look. Fergie and Martika are also in this clip. They used to be so hot.

Source VIA ONTD

Roseanne was on Craig Ferguson last night and she just had to talk about her pussy getting worked on. Maybe she was joking, but I wouldn't put it past her. Hey, when the vagina needs tightening, it needs tightening.

Roseanne said, "I went and had vaginal rejuvenation surgery. No, I did! And now I have a va-junior. And I'm not afraid to use it."

Va-gross! She might not be afraid to use, but I think most people are. Roseanne needs to stop fucking with her insides. She's had gastric bypass and now she's had pussy rejuvenation?! It's probably a danger zone in there. We must send in MacGyver to fix this problem. We'd never hear from him again though.

Click here to see the clip at HuffPo

Thanks TexNDoc

Since when?! I feel so deceived. I know, I know. La Pequena makes a convincing woman as much a Brooke Hogan does. It's so strange seeing this sexy bitch without his make-up and wig on. It feels like the day I found out Santa Claus wasn't real. Yes, it was this past Monday, but you know what I mean.

He looks so normal. It's creepy and I don't like it. Quick! Wash that normal image of him with this clip! Here's La Pequena Patricia Maldonado with Machine. This is much better. I can breathe again.

Mischa Barton celebrates dodging jail time by going to the beach. And I don't see any cottage cheese! - Egotastic!

Dee from Clueless has major ass - Hollywood Tuna

Natalie Portman and her bearded lady boyfriend - Popsugar

The aptly named Dick Masterson thinks men are better than women (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Wentworth Miller buying pillows to bring to your bed...you wish - Just Jared

Katie and Peter to make terrible music once again - A Socialite's Life

The WWE chicks are naked - Cityrag

ICYMI: Eva Herzigova is knocked up and naked - IDLYITW

Moby wants to marry Britney Spears - Hollywood Rag

Image: Pacific Coast News