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ShockTilYouDrop is reporting that Michael Bay's production company, Platinum Dunes, plans to remake the 1968 film Rosemary's Baby. Platinum Dunes is in talks to update the Roman Polanski film. The original movie was based on an Ira Levin novel and it starred Mia Farrow, John Cassavetes and Ruth Gordon.

Platinum Dunes is also working on the remakes of Nightmare on Elm Street, The Birds and Friday the 13th. They should change their name to The Butcher House.

We know how this is going to play. Jessica Alba, ScarJo or Keira Knightley will play Rosemary. Hayden Christensen, Ryan Phillipe or Chris Kline will play Guy. They will get some cheesy band like Good Charlotte to do a title theme. They will fill that shit with a ton of pathetic CGI effects. Fuck, they might as well get a big name to play the baby. I'm thinking Jack Nicholson.

Stop the madness! Can't they remake shit that actually needs help? Howard the Duck maybe? Yeah, what am I talking about? That movie is perfect just the way it is.

VIA Coming Soon

Please tell me Mickey Rourke is wearing a fake hair scrunchie! You know he bought that shit at Sally's Beauty Supply. He was there to pick up some anal bleach.

Here's Mickey outside the Waverly Inn in NYC last night. I'm sure Mickey cleared the room the minute he walked in the door. I'm sorry, but how the hell are you supposed to enjoy your truffle macaroni with Freddy Krueger staring at you? One....two....Freddy's coming for you.....

File this under: Why the fuck am I watching this trash show?! I already know the answer. It's because I have terrible taste in TV. Anyway, last night was the premiere of starring ""That's Amore"A Shot At Love" loser Domenico Nesci. The show's premise is very basic. Domenico is trying to find love among 15 skanks.

The clip above basically sums up the entire hour. Domenico asks Kristen if he could smell her armpits, because he thinks the bitch isn't clean. One of the other girls describe the smell as "booty marinated in some fish sauce." I think Domenico is smelling the wrong flap. He needs to go south. I'm sure Kristen wasn't the only girl in the room with that issue. They all look like they've been marinating in fish sauce.

Again, why am I watching this shit?!

Bonus! Last night was a trash TV double feature. Rock of Love 2 featured the lovely nymph Daisy singing the National Anthem. I'm surprised her horrific cat screams didn't blow Bret's wig right off.

This is what sucks about not working in an office. You can't buy delicious things from all the moms in the office. I had no idea it was girl scout cookie time already! I never understood why they don't sell that shit in the grocery stores or online. I need easy access! I like to crumble that shit in milk and eat it for breakfast. I'm sure it has some vitamins!

Here's Vanessa Williams and Rick Fox with their girl scout daughter the other day in Los Angeles. I'm surprised Vanessa's daughter has to sell that shit outside the grocery store. If my mother was Vanessa Williams, I would make her ass sell the cookies at work while I sit on my ass watching TV.

Pregnant or just a little bloat? Yeah, I don't think she's knocked up either. Kate Hudson is just suffering from a little thing called "skinny fat." I suffer from that awful condition too. One time I had skinny fat in a bad way, so my mom told me to stick my ass up and force the farts out. She said that would ease the belly bloat. I didn't want to tell her that sticking my ass up in the air wasn't going to solve my skinny fatness. If that was true, I'd be a fucking twig. My ass is always up....oh forget it....too much information.

Here's Kate in Miami, hopefully getting a tan.

Tony Romo, Dane Cook and John Mayer were awarded with Cosmo's Fun Fearless Male Award today in NYC. All three of them have also been with Jessica Simpson at one time or another. I'm sure they stood around the bar trading sex stories. Actually, they probably asked each other, "Did Papa Joe insist on watching you with Jessica too?"

Dave Salmoni, Peter Krause, Dave Annable, Tom from MySpace, John Krasinki and Common were also honored. I'm sure one of them will be one of Jessica's future exes too.

Daisy from Rock of Love 2 is Oscar De La Hoya's niece? I did not know this. TMZ posted this photo along with the little fact. You learn something new every day. The picture was taken from Daisy's MySpace and she claims it's flour and not cocaine.

I'm sure Oscar and Daisy share lingerie and fishnets.

Thanks Kenzi

Marion Cotillard's lawyer said she is in shock over the shit storm her year-old comments created. He said her comments about 9/11 being an inside job were taken out of context and misunderstood.

A French Dlisted reader wrote me and said Marion made the comments about a year ago on a French TV show. She was talking about how certain documentaries feed her paranoia about conspiracy theories. I think she was talking about "Loose Change." The reader said her recently republished quotes have been twisted around.

The french media recently republished her quote after her Oscar win, "I think we're lied to about a lot of things. It was a money-sucker because they were finished, it seems to me, by 1973, and to re-cable all that, to bring up-to-date all the technology and everything, it was a lot more expensive, that work, than destroying them."

Her lawyer said, "This reportage has been taken out of context and one can only condemn such practices. Marion deplores that. She is currently filming in Chicago and has a lot of work. She is in an ocean of happiness and voila, this row blows up. It's rather strange. It's an old report, not at all current. Why bring it out now ? I talked three times to Marion overnight. This is worrying her. She is still in shock and does not really know how to react. She doesn't have to apologise for a badly presented and badly interpreted reportage."

"She hopes that the Americans will have enough distance to understand, but her career is not just American. She can make films everywhere."

Drama! Let this be a lesson to all actors and models! Talk only about fashion, beauty, sex, acting, pets and plastic surgery. Everything else is off limits!

Source

Thanks B

Jessica's fake relationship is going strong - Popsugar

Win a date with ScarJo! Titty fuck not included - Egotastic!

Lindsay Lohan needs pants (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Lauren Conrad's dog is stealing her style - Just Jared

Kristin Cavallari is still alive? - Hollywood Tuna

Kate Moss & Kelly Osbourne are wasted - IDLYITW

Rihanna loves her ass - Hollywood Rag

Guess who's working at McDonald's? - Concrete Loop

Jack Nicholson for Hilary Clinton - A Socialite's Life

Celebrities VS. Kids - Cityrag

Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis was arrested over the weekend for being caught with an illegal substance. TMZ reports that the substance was in fact cocaine. He was arrested Friday night and released on $10,000 bail Saturday. He's due back in court March 10th.

He probably cuts his coke with lard and cheese fries. I think I need a few lines of lard laced cocaine after looking at his picture.