Archives

TyTy Baby brought some of the Top Model girls out of the woodwork (aka their day jobs Howard Johnson's) for the 1st Annual Fiercee Awards. The award show is the weave child of TyTy and will air on her talk show. The awards will honor or dishonor past contestants on the reality show.

At first I thought this was a Miss Beautiful Tranny America pageant. WTF happened to some of these girls? Did they have dicks put in? I chose Jade for the main photo, because she was always one of my favorites. She's looks like the tranny love child of Bai Ling and Grace Jones. Jade will always have my heart for saying, "Posing with an elephant, it's like posing with an ancient dinosaur. And elephants are in the dinosaur family."

Below are some of the girls that showed up for this whacked out event. Roll your mouse over the picture to get the ho's name. Caridee and Toccara look the hottest. Jay Manuel is wearing more make-up than all those girls put together. Jaslene looks like she's a contestant for Miss Puerto Rico 1982.

Mischa Barton had lunch today with Lindsay Lohan's main muncher, Samantha Ronson. I wonder what they had? Tuna tartare! Leeeeezzz beeee frieeeends foreeever! Ronson is a lesbian pimp. Even I'm developing a girl crush on her. It's the "Ronson" blood.

Mischa wore a "Let's Go Bite Some Butts" t-shirt. No thank poo. Mischa's ass looks like it's a mouthful of cottage cheese. I must give love to the paparazzi that knew how important it was to get close-ups of her cellulite. Job well done!

Who really gives a fuck if she's 22 and has cellulite. We all have it. I mean...of course I don't, but lots of people do. Besides, that outfit is much uglier than her cellulite. Her job is to basically get dressed up to go shopping and "eat lunch" and this is what she comes up? Falkor, go home and change!

Daddy Lohan is not happy that Lindsay Lohan is going to play one of Charles Manson's chicks in the new movie "Manson Girls." He spoke to UsWeekly last night about it, "I really hope that Lindsay gets back to the kinds of films that led to her success. I'd like to see her do more mainstream films."

Translation: "Those indie movies pay shit! Someone's got to pay my rent! Praise Jesus!"

He went on to say, "When you're the kind of star Lindsay is, you have to appeal to a general audience, not just a specific audience." Can you he explain to me what kind of star Lindsay is? The girl hasn't had a hit since "Herbie" and I don't even know if that shit was a hit. She should take what she can get.

Daddy was also asked about that fake Calum Best sex tape that was floating around, ""You don't know what people put out there anymore! So many people have hidden cameras. Our private lives are our private lives — people don't respect that."

Private lives? Respect? Tell White Oprah to respect the general public by not starring in a reality show. Actually, don't tell her that. I can't wait to see that crap.

48-year-old Arthur Craddock from New Zealand was sentenced to 75 hours of community service for using a phone for a fictitious purpose. The orchard worker called the police on February 11th to complain about being raped by a wombat. A wombat. A fucking wombat.

He quicky rang back and tried withdrawing his complaint about the wombat raping him. So it was consensual then? Arthur then told the police, "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know." That's the biggest understatement ever. You are NOT okay Arthur! You think a wombat raped Australian-talk into you.

The wombat fucked him so good that it had him screaming CRIKEY!!!

Arthur's lawyer claims he was not drunk on the afternoon of his call. He might not have been drunk, but bitch was definitely high.

Source

Thanks Pam

Papa Joe was at The Ivy yesterday showing off the newest ho in his harem, Russian pop star An'ya. An'ya is going to take America by storm and by "America" I mean Papa Joe's genitals. Poor thing. From Russia to this?! I bet Jessica and Asshole's breasts are breathing a sigh of relief. Papa Joe's heat is off them for now.

Speaking of Jessica, the whore was asked when she was going to marry Tony Romo while she was leaving Chili's. Jess' mom, Tina Simpson, responded with, "They already are, what are you talking about?" Jessica giggled and said, "I guess, if mom says so."

Now everyone thinks they are married. No! No! No! Stupid Tina had too many white zins. It makes her all mouthy and annoying. The day Tony marries Jessica is the day the state of Texas banishes him forever.

Katie Holmes is reportedly in negotiations to take to the Broadway stage in a revival of Arthur Miller's "All My Sons." "In negotiations" only means that Katie has to ask her alien master.

The Daily Mail reports that she's already agreed to take part in a workshop this May. In the workshop, she will play the part of a woman who visits her former neighbors, the family of a missing pilot she once loved.

Katie told producers that she's "serious about working in the theater." Those dumb dumbs! That was code for "please save me from my husband."

Anybody can be on Broadway nowadays! ANYBODY! If Suri Cruise wanted that part in "All My Sons," she could have it. She would probably be a hell of a lot more interesting.

Please don't do this Katie. Manhattan is not ready for the full-time invasion of TomKat.

Jenna Jameson came stumbling out of a club last night with her protégé , Audrey O'Day of Danity Kane. Jenna is taking the Pamela Anderson route to growing older. Just keep skanking until you can't skank no more!

If you listen closely, you can almost hear what Jenna's drunken slur. She's probably talking about how she's not spreading her legs for porn anymore and how this is her natural body weight. Actually, she's probably asking where the toilet is.

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are in bikinis! - Egotastic!

Jessica Simpson blocks a possible pussy shot - IDLYITW

Katie Holmes looks like death, gets in a hearse - Popsugar

Keeley Hazell goes topless for FHM, but she'll go topless for just about anyone - Hollywood Tuna

Paris Hilton offends Turkey (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

A "Gossip Girl" spoiler! - Just Jared

Gary Coleman and TyTy together at last - Crunk + Disorderly

Hollywood gang signs - Cityrag

Obama takes on the hens of The View - A Socialite's Life

Angie Jo is swelling up - Hollywood Rag

Jenny Aniston's publicist must be working his Blackberry to the core. Jenny and Orlando Bloom have once again been linked. Witnesses told Page Six that the two were recently dining at Eva LongWHORIA's house of whores, Beso.

The "witness" aka Aniston herself said, "They were sitting very close and she was looking at him like he was her favorite guy in the world."

They got it all wrong. She was sitting across the room and he was looking at her like she was his favorite guy in the world. Orlando's current girlfriend, Miranda Kerr, has nothing to worry about. Keep moving along.

I just know Aniston is trying to make this happen! It's never going to happen. She needs to link herself to someone more believable. I'm thinking....James Haven Voight. Now that's a story!

Note to Brangaloonies: If you didn't know that was Brad Pitt's ear in the picture above, you need to remove your Brangaloonie badge right away and take down your Shiloh altar!