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Amy Wino has apparently tried everything to fix her falling face, but nothing is working. Um...maybe she should lay off the meth? Just a thought. Wino's pharmacist has tried every kind of lotion and potion on her exorcist skin, but it still looks like hell landed straight on it. The Daily Star reports that Wino is so desperate that she's willing to try the piss trick. Wino will massage her morning piss on her face every day.

A source said, “Amy’s sick of turning heads for all the wrong reasons when she’s out. She has tried all sorts of lotions and potions but none works. She is desperately unhappy with her appearance and she is happy to try anything that may clear up her condition. She is praying the urine ointment will work.”

Wino's rep still claims it's impetigo, but most think it's just good old-fashioned methface!

Normally I would think it's ok to try anything, but this is Wino's piss we're talking about. Her piss is not your normal kind of potion. That shit must be toxic. Think of all the chemicals swimming inside her bladder. She's going to quickly realize there's some good stuff in her piss the minute she puts it on her face. The bitch is going to start snorting her own piss and that's not a good thing.

Thanks Richard

Renee Zellweger left the Waverly Inn in NYC last night holding some dude's hand Squinty has finally found love! Well, at least love for the night.

The dude is cute in a "might be a serial killer" sort of way. He looks like he has major OCD. He probably obsessively counts the number of blinks people make while he's talking to them. Being with Squinty is going to drive him crazy, because birdie doesn't blink.

My Little Pony Parker neighed to Hello! Magazine (via M&C) about how she will never live in Los Angeles, because they treat celebrities like "exotic creatures." She said she has never considered leaving NYC and never will.

She said, "For me it was never really a choice between New York and Los Angeles. I've always considered New York my home and since my husband Matthew Broderick was born and raised here we never even considered moving away." Matthew would never leave NYC! He probably knows where all the great glory holes are after years of research.

Pony went on, "New York has the big advantage of not treating celebrities like exotic creatures. No-one cares because the city is so big and driven by so many other interests that people don't obsess with actors as much as they do in Los Angeles, where it all revolves around Hollywood."

It's true that most New Yorkers don't give a fuck when they see a celebrity, but they are still treated like special skanks. Celebrities get special treatment in every city and that's why I hate their asses!

Time for an example! I went to some restaurant in NYC for my Birfday last year and Mandy Moore's football player looking ass was there with a bunch of people. I was enjoying my meal when all of a sudden, Mandy gets up and asks them to play her new CD. Of course they did, because she's a celebrity. Everyone in the restaurant was forced to listen to her shitty ass music. They would have thrown me out if I asked them to play my favorite "2 Live Crew" CD for my Birfday. Not Mandy! She gets whatever she wants, because she's famous. Everyone else has to suffer.

Kate Beckinsale can be really hot sometimes. She's usually broccoli boring, but then she says shit like "she would rather eat vagina than sushi." She also is not afraid to dress like a high-class call girl for dinner and I can appreciate that. I love everything from her fake horse man to her expensively cheap dress. Kate and her husband joined Posh and Becks at STK in West Hollywood last night. The waiter should have brought her a plate of pussy.

And just for shits, below are some pictures of Fred Savage, his pregnant wife and the hot homo from "American Gladiators" at the same restaurant.

KFed celebrated the big 3-0 in Las Vegas last night with a Birthday extravaganza filled with A-listers. Ok, there wasn't any A-listers. There wasn't any B or C-listers either. There was Shar Jackson and that's about it. I don't even know what list she's on. The tool list probably. Shar was only brought into this world to talk about KFed and Britney. Seriously, that's all she fucking does is comment on their business.

Oh and KFed's shark lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, also showed. You know that bitch is billing KFed for his time at the party and by "KFed" I mean Britney, because she pays the bills.

KFed spent the night in the VIP section of the club with his friends where he downed Jack, danced on the sofa and held up a "FDRLINE" license plate. Summer's Eve needed to sponsor that event, because it sounds like it was douche central.

TMZ has a hilarious video of KFed rambling to the crowd about gambling or some shit like that. I'm pretty sure only Vanilla Ice, Eminem and Spuds McKenzie could understand what the hell he was saying. The crowd was not feeling him and they booed his ass! It's your Birthday and boo your ass if I want to! It couldn't have happened to a better douche.

Bravo's modeling show "Make Me A Supermodel" is coming to an end and I'm sure this is heartbreaking for the two of you that watch it. Make that 3, because I watch this shit. The last photo shoot required Perry to tuck his junk for what reason I'm not sure. If the photographer asks you to tuck your dick that isn't necessarily a good thing. The photog probably wanted some hot nude shit, but took one look at what Perry was working with and decided it was best if he hid that shit. Perry said on the show that "we've all tucked it just to see." He's right. It's America's favorite pastime. There's nothing more enjoyable than tucking it in and then fake finger fucking yourself. Hours of entertainment.

Perry is the dude that was involved in the Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib love triangle. Perry's girlfriend, Amanda Pagel, was photographed with Adnan and the two are reportedly dating. Amanda sort of dumped Perry for Adnan. Amanda recently told Look Magazine, "He (Adnan) kept saying: As soon as she's better and back on her own two feet doing her own thing, we can go public. And he told me he 'pitied' her and felt really sorry for her. She'd been through a lot and he used to say he was the only one that she trusted."

Amanda is a moron. She's definitely downgrading, because Perry is the hotness. She deserves a dick slap, but not from Perry. That would be like being slapped with a pinky finger.

Thanks Nancy

Brucie Willis' fetus girlfriend is starting to hang out with the family, so they are totally going to get married and have more babies. Not in that order of course. It's Hollywood. I still think the girl looks like an adolescent. She almost passes for one of Brucie's daughters, but she doesn't quite share the same "features" as them. She should be thankful for that. Here's Bruce and fetus girlfriend with Tallulah Willis and some other chick enjoying their Starfucks yesterday afternoon.

Blaaaake has begged Amy Wino to give him heroin money while he's in the slammer. Blaaake has already been using Wino's autographed pictures to trade for baggies, but it looks like that trick isn't working anymore. The Sun reports that he has asked Wino to deposit money into the bank account of another con, so that he can get his fix.

An inside source at the prison said, “Blake’s addiction is just as bad as ever and he’s bragging about how he’s been asking Amy to help him get a fix. He showed us the bank details of a known dealer inside Pentonville and said he’d asked Amy to make regular wire transfers to this guy in exchange for heroin.

“Apparently he wanted each transfer to end in a single pound, so the dealer would know who the money came from.”

The asking price is 4 times the street value. The clink's head of security has apparently sent a letter to Blaaake's lawyers, “There is strong and supported intelligence he is involved in attempting to smuggle drugs into the prison.”

Blaaake needs some fucking dignity. Stop asking your woman for money and handle it like a real man. That means he needs to get on his knees and suck that dick for his fix. Suckey for a little fixey. Have some self-respect for yourself! Spread that ass if you need to, but stop asking for a handout.

Daddy Spears might finally do what he should have done a long time ago. Daddy reportedly wants to drag Brit Brit by her bunk ass weave back to Louisiana. Daddy is afraid that he won't be able to control the "bad influences" around her for long. He is also planning to file a court request to keep her away from clubs, drugs and Adnan Ghalib.

A source said, “Britney has been feeling lonely and isolated since her dad has taken control of her life. He hopes to take her back to Louisiana where she will be surrounded by her family. Jamie also hopes it will give her the chance to mend her troubled relationship with her mum and her more recent rift with her pregnant sister. And he hopes to keep her away from the negative LA scene and people who’ve been using her.”

Brit Brit has been making progress in her recovery, but that's only because Daddy Spears is the HBIC of her life. I don't understand why Brit would not want to go back home. They have all her favorite things including Super Wal-Mart, deep fried twinkies, mattress surfing contests, hot flavored pork rinds and peanuts in Coca Cola. I would think it would be her heaven!

And where the fuck is London? Everyone keeps asking about Suri, but I'm more concerned about London. Britney is rocking a new ratty blonde weave nowadays..... Oh no! London is in her weave!

Rick Salomon has co-signed Pamela Anderon's claim that their marriage was some fraudlent bullshit. Last month, Pammy filed for annulment from Rick and claimed fraud. Rick filed papers with the same claim and asked to make their two-month union disappear. People is reporting that no reason was given on why the fraud allegation was made. Everyone on Pam is fake, so it only makes sense that her relationships are also fake. Fake ass bitch!

Rick is not asking for spousal support from Pam, because he makes more money than her. I guess fucking Parasite Hilton's nasty snatch on camera pays off.

Rick and Pam were married in Las Vegas last October during a break in her magic shows. Pamela will be married again by the end of the year. Trust this. Although, she's really missing out in life by not making her marriage to Rick work. Look at him. Nothing says skid mark undies and farting during dinner like a golden arch marijuana t-shirt. He's such a class act.