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Regan MacNeil from The Exorcist lives! Last week, I posted a story about some Reverend dude who thought Amy Wino could use an exorcism. Did she take him up on his offer, because it looks like the devil is seeping through her skin!

Her rep still claims it's Impetigo and that she's taking antibiotics to clear it up. Obviously the antibiotics aren't working. She needs a peel-off face mask! Seriously, peel-off face masks make me so happy. They probably don't do shit, but slowly peeling that crap off my skin makes me feel so brand new. It's good for the soul. Wino needs one of those.

Here's Wino walking around town and spreading her Impetigo while buying lollies and sweets. She also showed off some fresh cuts on her arm. Sigh. She's still as fucked up as ever. Does Daddy Spears do housecalls? This tramp needs a peel-off face mask and Daddy Spears.

HoHan was paid to host the Scandinavian Style Mansion on Friday night, but she pissed off the owner, Claus Hjelmbak (above), after she threw a "hissy fit" and left. PageSix.com reports that HoHan showed up as scheduled, but flipped out when she saw Paris Hilton Handbags listed as one of the event's sponsors. I don't blame HoHan! Seeing Paris Hilton's name alone is enough to send anyone running for the toilet. I have to hold my asshole and mouth when I type her name. I type her name with my nose.

A source said HoHan left after an hour taking a few "very expensive gifts" with her. What do you expect her to do? Rent is due! On the real, the bar probably didn't carry her brand of vodka.

Claus said, “I’m grossly disappointed in Lindsay for not fulfilling her contractual duties." However, Claus gave Paris Hilton a glowing review for saving the day. "Paris truly saved the night. She was very gracious to everyone — and was the life of the party!”

Life of the party? I'm guessing this was a bukkake orgy.

Yesterday, I posted a story about Madge's marriage to Guy Ritchie being over. The claim was that Madge was going to announce the split in 18-months and then she was going to move her children to NYC. Don't worry Madonnaloonies, they are together forever. I'm sure there's a contract somewhere that states this. Liz Rosenberg, her longtime spokeswhore, issued this statement to People:

"I am delighted to confirm that Mr. and Mrs. Guy Ritchie remain happily married. Though they were in different countries recently — Madonna in the U.S. doing promotion for her upcoming album, Hard Candy, and Guy finishing up post-production on his new film, RocknRolla, as well as completing a Nike commercial and working on several scripts in England — the family are joyfully back together at home in London. All is well and wonderful in the Ritchie household."

Like Madonna is going to admit that her marriage sucks. She does not admit failure! She probably called up Guy during their monthly chat and said, "Dear. People are saying some dreadful things about our marriage. Oh sod! They really are taking a piss out of us! Those dodgy wankers! Our marriage is just Luvvly-jubbly, right? You'll tell them everything is splendid. Bloody bollocks! Thou must fix this! I must bid you farewell. I have a sticky toffee pudding in the cooker. Oh and I've instructed the maid to move the rest of your belongings into storage. Pip pip cheerio!"

Brit Brit and Mel Gibson shared a bowl of borscht over the weekend, but it wasn't their first time meeting up. People reports that they have hung out a few times since she checked out of the crazy house. A source said, "Mel and his wife Robin clearly saw a woman in crisis and wanted to extend themselves in any way possible. There's just a handful of people in the world who understand the kind of intense attention that Britney goes through, and how to raise a family with some semblance of privacy and how to keep one's family intact and out of the limelight."

Brit and Mel used to live near one another in Malibu, so the source said Mel is just reaching out as a neighbor. He has no agenda. Yeah fucking right. He just wants to tap that.

PageSix.com claims Mel does have an agenda. He wants Britney's voice! He has asked her to sing at his church. An inside source said, “Apparently, he is trying to get her to start attending his church [Church of the Holy Family] in Malibu. We heard he asked her to sing at one of the weekly sessions there.”

Hasn't Jesus been through enough? He died for our sins and now he has to suffer through Britney's singing? Unholy! And this close to Easter? Mel needs to say a million Hail Marys for even thinking about that. That should also keep him busy for a while, so he won't make another jack-off piece like Apocalypto.

Vh1 has given me a reason to look forward to April. Well, besides all the Peeps that will go on sale after Easter. Don't judge! They don't get THAT stale and besides you can melt them down for a delicious ice cream topping. Anyway, Vh1's Miss Rap Supreme will air on April 14th. The reality show will be hosted by Yo Yo and MC Serch and will search for hip hop's next big female rapper. That's not even the best part. Khia is in that shit! She's not a judge either. She's a contestant. She will be living in the house with everyone else and will battle it out for the $100,000 prize. Something in the milk ain't clean!

Oh how the mighty have fallen! From "my neck, my beck" to amateur rap competition.

This could have been even better if they got J.J. Fad! They need a Supersonic comeback.

Kristin Davis from Sex and the City has a sex tape? I doubt it, but there's this picture going around of some girl who looks like Kristin licking nasty peen. ScottFayner.com claims a tape is being shopped around and that there's more photos of "Kristin" on some pay porn site. Several people (No, not me) have subscribed to the porn site hoping for a little York pudding. Apparently, there's no pictures of her on the site.

I hope there's no sex tape, because Kristin is not the SATC bitch I want to see in a sex tape. I'm secretly praying for a hot lesbian tape featuring Cynthia Nixon and her butchie girlfriend.

Click here to see the NSFW picture of probably fake Kristin licking broke peen. Judge for yourself.

Pamela Anderson took her slut act overseas to perform with Hans Klok on a German TV show. Looks like he used his magic skills to make her dignity and pants disappear. I'm just joking. She never had dignity to begin with. Seriously though! I think I would be more shocked if Pamela Anderson actually put on clothes. She will be whoring it up until she's six feet under.

The Daily Mail also reports that there are rumors that Hans and Pamela are an item. When are people going to realize that Klok likes kok! Does he have to come out a million times like Michael Stipe (see below) until people finally get it?

Well....maybe.... National Lampoon interviewed people auditioning for the next season of "Last Comic Standing" and our beloved Dollhouse Dude was in line. They asked him for his best joke. Um....the dollhouse sitting on top of his head is his best joke. Here's his joke:

How are some real estate people like dolphins?

Answer: They take you for a nice smooth ride and then they turn into sharks.

Not only has Dollhouse Dude made me laugh so hard my nipples turned inside out, but he also taught something new. Who knew dolphins turned into sharks? I bet you didn't know that. He's hilarious and educational!

Thanks Amy

While browsing through news stories today I've come across a few headlines that read, "Michael Stipe Comes Out." I thought that homo "came out" yeeeeaaaars ago. Maybe the media feels they need to remind us of this. Somebody tell them there's no need. He's gayer than Billy Squier's "Rock Me Tonite" video!

Anyway, Michael talked to Spin Magazine about the whole "coming out" thing. He said, "It was super complicated for me in the ’80s. I was totally open with the band and my family and my friends and certainly the people I was sleeping with. I thought it was pretty obvious.” Yeah, it was pretty obvious.

He went on to say that he never really though coming out could help others, but now he does, "Now I recognize that to have public figures be very open about their sexuality helps some kid somewhere out there.”

He's sort of right. The only gay person I really looked up to was Monroe from "Too Close For Comfort." And I don't think Monroe ever came out officially! I mean his outfits screamed "I love it in the ass," but he never said it.

Source

Britney Spears needs to take home the costume designer, lighting person, make-up artist and hair stylist from "How I Met Your Mother." CBS has released a couple of pictures from her episode which airs March 24th. Britney actually looks cute. I didn't think I would ever write the words "Britney and cute" in the same sentence again! The weave still looks like it went through a fry daddy, but you can't have it all!

In other Britney news, TMZ reports that she's been ordered by the court to pay a huge chunk of KFed's lawyer fees. KFed's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, originally wanted her to pay the entire amount (around $500,000). The judge knocked it down to $375,000 after Britney complained it was too much. Ain't that a bitch! KFed takes away her kids and wants her to pay for it.

In even more Britney news, UsWeekly reports she's been banned from Villa in West Hollywood. The owner said, “She came twice, but we don’t want the media circus that would create." Huh?! She's been banned for being a media whore and he's making a statement about it? Who's the media whore now? Brit doesn't need to to clubs anyway. She only needs Starbucks and Forever 21 to survive.

Starbucks needs to pull the ultimate April Fool's joke on Brit by banning her ass! Of course, they would need the National Guard, the entire LAPD force and NASA on hand just in case. Banning Brit from Starbucks would result in a category 3 disaster.