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The Commish ruled today that Brit Brit Spears is getting an allowance. She may make $700,000 + a month, but she's only getting $1,500 a week. Daddy Spears will give her a debit card each week. He currently makes $2,500 a week for being in charge of all her shit.

Brit's lawyer said the decision was made "so she can spend money, have her freedom, and make choices about how she wants to enjoy her life."

$1,500 a week only buys like 10 Frapps and 25 Slim Jims. She's going to have a few hard decisions ahead of her. Methinks this new allowance is going to turn Britney on to a life of crime. She's going to storm Starbucks with one of her boys' water guns and demand they let her lick up all the freshly Frapped blenders.

Source

Is there anything wrong with these people? They are perfect. I bet you their shit doesn't stink. If it does smell, it smells like lavender and honey. Yeah, what am I saying! They don't shit. They probably don't have toilets in their house.

Here's Cindy Crawford's gorgeous family at a John Varvatos charity event yesterday. Cindy's son, Presley, totally has Heather Locklear hair. That is a compliment! I want Heather Locklear hair. Because I'm worth it.

I have to tell myself that the little liquid coming out of Wino in this video is just spit. It's from a while ago, because it's Blaaaake interviewing Amy Wino for Spin Magazine. This is before he went into the clink. It's your basic crack nonsense, but fast forward to 28 seconds for the magic moment. I'm pretty sure it's spit coming from her mouth. If it was Wino's lady juices, she and Blaaake would have immediately dropped the camera and snorted it up. I'm sure there's a little crack in her lady juices. Have you ever tasted spooge from a smoker? It tastes like a fucking ashtray. Ok, we won't get into that.

VIA Holy Moly!

Remember Logan from Baywatch? He's proudly come out as a card carrying member of the fudge packer's club. I'm a Platinum member! 100 fudge packs and you get a free tube of Prep-H!

Jaason Simmons played Australian lifeguard Logan Fowler for 3 years. He was also on the cover of Playgirl magazine. He came out to New Magazine (via SameSame) today and appeared in pictures with his boyfriend of 8-months, John O’Callaghan, and their six year-old adopted Ugandon son. The two plan to marry in Canada, because they live in California where they don't recognize the gays.

When asked why he came out, Jaason said, “We’re doing it for our family and for my soon-to-be son. Although you don’t want to typecast yourself, you have to take responsibility and ownership and move humanity forward, out of bigotry. Our son needs to see we can stand in front of family and loved ones who are going to support our union through the good times and bad.”

8-months and they already have a kid?! Gulp. Congrats to Jaason! May he have many years of hot butt sex without the guilt.

I bet you Jaason, David Charvet and The Hoff held circle jerks in their trailer. Being around Pamela Anderson's stinky cooze that long will turn any dude.

Now if Jaason will just drop the extra a in his name all will be alright in the world. I mean what Jason needs an extra a?! That's just selfish. He's probably a bossy bottom.

Brangelina are in Texas now where they have moved their entire family while Brad shoots some movie. Angie was out in Austin today dropping Maddox off at school and then buying a bunch of crap at Barnes & Nobles. She was probably buying lesbo porn. Actually, I don't think they sell porn at B&N. LAME!

I hope Maddox is really good at making friends, because it seems like he's at a different school every month. I'm sure it's not hard for him. He just has to say, "I'm Maddox, no last name necessary." Instead of trading the usual stuff at lunchtime, he can trade in his brother and sisters. He has enough of them. "I'll give you a Shiloh for a Coca-Cola!"

People are always on Angie's chonies for always wearing black. I would fucking wear black all day too if I had that many kids and I was knocked up again. Depressing. I'd have to have daily "Calgon take me away" moments followed by several hours of lesbo porn. That's totally what's in the bag.

Brad and Angie still haven't officially confirmed the bitch is knocked up. They don't have to. They are Brangelina and they are special. Barf.

Brit Brit Spears will follow-up her stomach-turning role as Amber-Louise on "Will & Grace" by appearing in an episode of "How I Met Your Mother." Pink is the New Blog first reported that Brit took part in a read-through this morning and a source said she was, "really funny." I think they meant she was really funny looking. Well, she is! She makes silly faces. Gosh. Most of her scenes are apparently with Josh Radnor and the role could become recurring.

TMZ reports it's just a small guest part and nothing lengthy. A source told them it's "a small legitimate project that will keep her busy doing something."

I will only approve of this if Dollhouse Dude plays her long lost daddy. He needs a National platform where he can show off his many talents.

CBS definitely lucked out with getting Brit. Not only are they getting an amazing actress who can do a variety of spot-on accents, but I'm sure they paid her in Frapps. You can't beat that.

She's totally going to lose it on set and bite off Neil Patrick Harris' head. Watch. It's going to take her a few bites, because his head is kind of long.

I've never wanted to get married before, but now I want to start planning my dream wedding just so Fred and Sharon can shoot the blessed event. This is a truly inspiring commercial from Canada. This is beyond a commercial. This is high art. This shit belongs in The Whitney. Sharon and Fred need to pack up their maple syrup and move to Hollywood right now.

I am in awe of their animation skills. They could put Pixar out of business.

Who needs a movie? I do and I really need Fred and Sharon to shoot it! By the way, this is absolutely real.

If the "video movie" making business doesn't work out for them, Sharon should replace any of those women on "The View." I'm not joking.

Thanks Albz

I usually don't cover politics, because this is some hot shit. The Governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, told officials this morning that he's been involved in a high-class prostitution ring operating out of Staten Island. The New York Times reports that Eliot canceled all of his day's events and has been holed with his top aides in his NYC apartment.

Last week a hooker ring called the Emperor's Club was raided and 4 people were arrested. Officials would not say if this is the ring Elliot was involved in. Gawker reports that Emperor's Club rented out hookers for $1,000 to $5,500 per hour.

Eliot Spitzer has been married to Silda Wall Spitzer (above) since 1987. They have three daughters.

$5,500 per hour?! Are they fucking King Midas? If I'm going to pay you $5,500 per hour, you better turn my dick to gold.

Spitzer is fucked and not in the way he's used to. Spitzer for President!!!

Thanks Marie

This is fun! I can also ask, "Phoebe, how many of your IMDB credits are real?" And another, "PP, you said you really had to use the port-a-potty. What number do you have to go?" I can do this all day.

Here's PP at the opening of a Shoe City in Lawndale, CA. NO! It's PP at a John Varvatos charity event yesterday. PP gives back.

This is an outfit Frosta from She-Ra would wear on her downtime.

When I was in grade school, we did this school play on Egypt and time traveling or some shit. I helped make the costumes and I got to make Cleopatra's wig. I was so proud of it, because I spent a full 20-minutes putting this crap together using black yarn and paper clips. When I finished making it, Cherokee (that was her name) spilled glue all over it. I know the bitch was trying to sabotage me. She was jealous of my British Knights. I was able to get some of the glue off and I touched it up with a Sharpie. That wig looked like a hundred fried worms lying in a puddle of sadness.

It still looked a million times better than the shit that is sitting on Jenna Jameson's head.

Here's JJ as Bettie Page for Peta. Thanks to Photoshop, she doesn't look like a praying mantis.