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I am STILL sick. I know. I think someone put a hex on me. You know who you are. I can barely keep it together, so I'm going to try again later. I need to lay in bed and submit to the grossness. Sorry hos. I will post more later today if I haven't died.

xoxoxMichael

image: cuteoverload

Linds has soap opera face going on. That might be a good idea for her. Guaranteed income, no worries if your episode will "bomb" or not, Possible emmy nomination. Can play roles are are similar to her real life. Something she should look into.

Here's Linds arriving at The 3rd Annual Los Angeles Italia Film, Fashion and Art Festival held at Mann Chinese 6 Theatre yesterday. Someone get her some new shoes. Those things are henious.

Image: Wenn

Douche Bag Spencer is at it again with his annoying, babbling crap about how wonderful and disgusting Heidi's singing is.

People reports the "back on" again couple spent the weekend around Atlantic City at the Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa running his mouth again about Heidi's sucky ass music career.

The moron says, "When people hear what we have in the bank, it's gonna blow their minds. Madonna, eat your heart out. Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming – they're gonna sell 10-million plus."

Wow, he'll say anything to get a piece of ass from that hag, won't he?

He goes on to say, "We're financing [the album] ourselves on a shoestring budget. It's so organic. And this is just the warm-up. We're just heating up the water in the bathtub. It's gonna get hot!"

Hot? I would ask to make it scalding, but homegirls plastic will melt in any kind of heat. That's actually a pretty good idea. That's about the best thing he's said... ever.

Heather Mills and Paul McCartney still haven't been able to reach a settlement in their divorce. Despite reports that they reached an agreement for Paul to pay the one legged bitch 100 million of his fortune, turns out that wasn't good enough.

According to People: It now remains for the judge in the case to arrive at the fairest settlement to end the couple's five-year marriage. The former couple married in 2002, had a daughter named Beatrice and separated in 2006.

Paul was not present in court, he was said to be rehearsing for his live performance at Wednesday's BRIT Awards (which is the U.K. version of the Grammys).

When all is said and done and she gets her dough, men will only be after her for one thing. Karma...

Is that child wearing Uggs?! Uggs! This is the thing with Uggs. Everyone tells me it's like slipping your feet into a velvet vagina. I just can't go there. I'm gay, but I'm not that gay. David Banda can pull them off. Uggs are only for children and skanks in California that wear them with shorts.

Here's Madonna and David arriving in Los Angeles yesterday. They are a lovely pair. Madonna's face is as tight as his. Now if she'll only do something about those roots.