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Aretha Franklin is not happy and a hot dog with extra cheese is not going to put her in a better mood. Ok maybe it will, but it better have extra extra cheese. She's pissed off, because during the Grammys Beyonce had the audacity to introduce Tina Turner as "the queen." Aretha is known as the "queen of soul" and thinks only one queen can reign at a time.

Aretha issued this statement to People:

"I am not sure of whose toes I may have stepped on or whose ego I may have bruised between the Grammy writers and Beyoncé, however I dismissed it as a cheap shot for controversy. In addition to that, I thank the Grammys and the voting academy for my 20th Grammy and love to Beyoncé anyway."

Um...Aretha, if you stepped on anyone's toes they would be dead. They would be dead and you would be in jail for killing them. That's the truth.

Aretha is CRAZY! A cheap shot? She's the only one that made an issue out of it. There can be many queens. Beyonce better watch it for real though. I wish Aretha would have slapped her. Hell, Aretha could have slapped from her where she was sitting. She just had to remove one of those titties and swung it around. Beyonce would have been knocked the hell out and Aretha would have been happy.

Barron Hilton was finally bailed out of jail today at 6pm in Malibu. He was arrested this morning for DUI. His bail was originally set for $5,000, but went up to $5,000 due to the fact that he was driving with a fake drivers license. Those Hiltons are so smart. How fucking stupid can you be to give a police office a fake license? Fake licenses are for bars not cops!

PageSix.com reports that Kathy and Rick Hilton refused to put up the bail and wanted him to stay in jail, so he could learn a lesson. TMZ reports that Paris Hilton also refused to bail him out, because she thinks he needs to learn. Yeah, she's the only Hilton that can get away with shit. Apparently, his friends went to a bail bondsman and sprung him free.

The 18-year-old will be in court in April. He was charged with a felony (for the fake license shit).

Teach him a lesson? Fucking please. This is probably what went down. Kathy and Rick told him that they don't want to look bad in pubic, so they are going to "pretend" they are teaching him a lesson. They promised to buy him a Bentley and throw him a party once he gets out. You know, because the Hiltons are trying to change their shit image. That's like me trying to grow a vagina. Not going to happen. Trust me, I've tried.

Britney might be getting a law named after her. That's if L.A. City Councilman Dennis P. Zine gets his way. He is proposing that a "safety zone" be set up to protect public safety. The "bubble" would be built around celebrities, hospitals, traffic, businesses, homes, etc... He also wants to make all paps get licenses. If they violate the safety zone, they could get their license taken away and lose all the money they make from the photos.

Dennis told Radar, "The straw that broke the camel's back is the $24,000 we spent to escort an L.A. City ambulance (with Brit in it) to the hospital. I'm not infringing upon the right to take a picture. I'm concerned about the impact they have on the general public."

There's already an"anti-stalkerazzi" law in California. If paps cause any kind of damage while taking pics of a celebrity they are responsible for three times the damage. They also lose any profit they would have made from take those pictures.

The new "Britney Law" will go to the committee by March 1.

They shouldn't name it the Britney Law. This is not what she wants. Homegirl will cry if this shit gets passed. Her friends will have to go away. She can wave to them from afar, but it won't be the same. Who will pump her gas? Who will escort her to the gas station restroom? Who will she date?

Thanks Leah

The "One Tree Hill" producers should really think about adding KFed to their cast permanently. He really brings a certain dynamic to the show. A douche dynamic. Britney should be proud. His acting skills make her look like Meryl Streep. I do love hearing him say, "You think you were good? The only reason people were clapping is because I told them you were retarded." He probably said that to Britney once. He's using past experiences. He's a real actor!

Above is a clip from tonight's episode where KFed gets knocked out. He had it coming.

40-year-old Gary Coleman has revealed to Inside Edition that he's secretly married to 22-year-old Shannon Price. OMG! She's Phoebe Price's long-lost sister!

If nobody cares, is it still considered a secret? In an interview airing today and tomorrow Gary said the two married in Nevada on August 28, 2007. They met on the set of one of his movies. STOP RIGHT THERE. I think it's more shocking that Gary was in an actual movie.

Gary said that he's 4'8" and she's 5'7" and it doesn't matter. Shannon said, “He was ten feet tall to me because he was sweet and I really liked his personality. That doesn’t really matter to me.”

Get this shit. Shannon said they kept their marriage a secret, because she didn't want to be known as Gary Coleman's wife. Gary said, “I wouldn’t want that in a million years. I wouldn’t want you to be known as Gary Coleman’s wife. I hope you do get successful. She’s a great e-Bayer. She’s a fabulous e-Bayer. I hope she gets famous for that.” Oh shit! So she's the one that's making him put his autographed Gap Kids sweat pants on Ebay. I knew she had ulterior motives.

The two have also confessed that the honeymoon stage of their marriage has passed. Shannon said their relationship is on-and-off and they fight all the time. Gary said they even got into a fight the morning of their Inside Edition interview. He said, “I threw the printer because my agent wanted to send me a fax, and it wouldn’t fax, and she [Price] was upset at me over something that I had done. And I just took that printer and said, ‘You know what, you just need to die.’” He can pick up a printer? Shannon said she has had to call the police on his small ass several times.

She said, “He actually got a disorderly conduct ticket one time because we had gotten into an argument, just a minor argument in Provo. The guy gave him a ticket and he freaked out and he was on six months probation…He had to go take an anger management course.” Why is Shannon so freaked out? If he gets out of check, she just has to kick him and he'll go flying.

Shannon is an eBay digger! She's going to eBay him out of house and home. Since he doesn't have any money, she's gotta get hers somehow. She's going to put him on eBay next. That's if she doesn't accidentally eat him with those huge chompers of hers.

Aren't they a sweet couple? They will be divorced by March.

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are back from Hawaii where they had a small vacation while Romo played some game. Now that Jess is recording a country album she's definitely looking the part. She's just a CUNT......ry......girl....at.....heart. That bag is fucking huge. She's probably smuggling Papa Joe in there. Can't leave home without him.

Wenn