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I thought Paula Abdul and Creepy Eyes boyfriend were done? I'm so confused. I feel like I've been drinking from her Vicodin sweet tea. Anyway, Paula and J.T. Torregiani stepped out together to attend Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party this past weekend. I'm glad they are back together. Paula needs love and he only has creepy eyes for her.

Can you imagine them in bed together? He probably just lays there with his creepy eyes wide open. I doubt he can even shut them. She's laying there giggling one minute and then crying the next. Her 55 dogs are barking and shitting everywhere. That shit is scary. It's like a room in The Twilight Zone's Tower of Terror at Disneyland.

Wenn, Splashnewsonline.com

Jack Nicholson claims he has a killer pick-up line that always works. Jack said, "You walk up to someone you like and you're feeling relaxed, they think, 'Oh, here comes the shark' and you say to them, 'When did you get pregnant?' You will have somebody off balance after that particular line."

In Hollywood that little line will backfire, because most of those chicks are knocked up.

All Jack has to say to me is, "Hi, I'm Jack Nicholson. Do you want to fuck in the car or the men's restroom?" I'd immediately put down my Long Island Iced Tea and head to the john. I think everyone should eff Jack at least once in their life. Yes, the dick probably doesn't get completely hard, but who cares? He's Jack Nicholson!

Consumer Reports (via OK! Magazine) is really, really mad at Hannah Montana. Like they aren't going to text or IM her for at least a week. Yeah, they are pissed! They are angry over a little scene in her new 3D concert movie. No the scene doesn't involve drinking, drugging or sexing! It involves seat belts!

They are calling Miley out for a scene in the movie where she's riding in the back of a Range Rover with her daddy. Neither of them are wearing seat belts. The driver should have hit the breaks really hard and watched the Cyrus' fly! Hey! Every good movie needs an action sequence. They even could have gotten that "stunt Hannah Montana" to do it.

Consumer Reports writes:

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in about 55 percent of passenger vehicle fatalities in 2006 (the latest data available), the occupants were not wearing seat belts. Even worse, in the 13- to 15-year-old age group, that percentage climbs to 65 percent. Unfortunately, we’re not surprised by these grim statistics because a 2002 survey by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety showed that when parents were dropping teens off at school in the morning, nearly half the teens weren’t using seat belts.

It seems to us that Miley, her father, and Disney had a perfect opportunity to help influence teens and counteract—rather than encourage—this trend. Then again, as Hannah herself sings, "Everybody makes mistakes." Maybe Hannah, Billy and Disney, will take a tip from the rest of Hannah’s song and get it right next time around: "Nobody's Perfect! I gotta work it! Again and again 'til I get it right. Nobody's Perfect!"

Oh snap! They are fucking peeved with lil' Miley. They are even bringing the statistics out. I agree with them, so let's banish Miley for good! Send her to the place where all child stars go....Vh1!

Natalie Cole is upset that Wino almost cleaned house at the Grammys last night. She spoke her mind and said she wasn't happy about it. Natalie said, “I don’t think she deserved it. I think she needs to get her life together first and then get the awards later. You don't get awarded for bad behavior. That's the problem. We're teaching young folks that they get awarded for being crazy. I'm not too happy about that, but I wish her luck and hopes she gets it together."

Natalie is no stranger to the crack world. Natalie has admitted to being addicted to heroin and crack. She was arrested in the 70s, got help and claims to be clean now.

This is the problem right here. Award shows have turned into contests about personality and personal lives. Isn't this shit supposed to be about the work or art or whatever. It mostly isn't and hasn't been for a while.

That's why Natalie has a point. People are rewarded for the wrong reasons nowadays. Look at Gwyneth Paltrow. There's no way that bitch deserved to win an Oscar, but everyone decided that a young pretty girl of Hollywood royalty would look good posing with a statue in her hands. Did Wino deserve to win? I don't know. Actually, I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Let's go smoke crack, make a music album and get a Grammy! That way Natalie Cole can talk trash on us and that would be sort of hot.

Click here to see the video of Natalie if you care

VIA ONTD

RiRi was involved in a minor car accident after she left the Grammys last night. ExtraTV reports that RiRi was inside her car when it was rammed by another car. Thankfully RiRi and her driver were ok or there would have been hell to pay. You know who did this shit! Beyonce! She is giving little RiRi a little warning for touching her man. Actually, Beyonce probably sent Solange out to do her dirty work. Solange always gets caught up in the drama. Beyonce promised her that she could sing back-up on her next track. Sadly, Beyonce had her fingers crossed. Solange is always getting duped.

Beyonce better watch it. RiRi may be smaller than Beyonce, but her powers are ridiculous. I mean anybody who can turn a song about a damn umbrella into one of the biggest hits of last year has awesome and dangerous powers. I mean the song was about a damn umbrella!

Beyonce better watch her ass. No she really should, because it's getting huge! I'm joking. She's perfect. I don't want her to send Solange after my ass.

Here's another hot picture of Rihanna with Morris Day of The Time, because he's hot shit.

When Jason Seaver would take Maggie Seaver for a night out on the town on "Growing Pains," I swear she would do her hair like this. It's like 80s suburban milf hair. Somewhere in the world Boner is getting a boner looking at Katherine Heigl.

This awful haircut couldn't have happened to a better person. I just wish I was sitting in front of her, so I could laugh out my Poppycock popcorn. I would say, "HI MOM! Don't miss the PTA meeting tonight! Bitch!" She would probably start crying. She looks like she can't take even the most idiotic of insults.

Here's Katherine at a "27 Dresses" photo call in Madrid.