Archives

What is going on here?! We're witnessing Chester cheating on Brit Brit! That two-timing piece of cheese caca! The betrayal! And you think you know someone! I know he's probably charmed by Shiloh's golden cotton candy hair and Saint Angelina's glowing halo, but he must remember that his heart of processed cheese forever belongs to Brit Brit! Nobody can love him the way that she does. Seriously. Brit probably loves him in a very private way if I ain't being too subtle. This better be a cheap affair and nothing else!

What am I saying? Those little deities aren't eating Cheetos. That's what the bag says, but I'm sure when Shiloh puts one to her mouth, all the preservatives melt away and it becomes a piece of Sacramental bread.

And you know what I'm going to talk about next....CROCS! She's a child, so it's fine. CROCS are only acceptable on those who have to wear diapers. Basically, kiddies and oldies.

Here's a few more pictures of Saint Angie Jo looking like Morticia on holiday with a few members of her child army in New Orleans today.

Ladies and whores! Grease up your genitals and wash out your no-no hole with Listerine, because David Duchovny is out of sex rehab and ready to party! David was photographed with Tea Leoni at the Czech Days Festival in NYC on Saturday. Doesn't he look fucking thrilled to be out?

Tea and David watched a performance and then ate Czech pancakes. Oh, I'm sure he did. I'm sure he ate the fuck out of those pancakes and rubbed his tongue all over them until Tea quietly pulled him aside and made his peen count to ten.

Sex rehab hasn't been good to David's looks. Bitch is looking a little craggy in the face. This is what a dude's mug looks like after his peen hasn't barfed for a while. Dry spell face. Hopefully, David is all better now and will stop abusing the sexy times. The sexy times is your friend, David. Don't hurt it.

Source VIA venusflesh@ONTD

Sarah Palin reportedly wants to get in on the fun and spoof Tina Fey on "SNL" in the next couple of weeks. You betcha!

For some strange reason Sarah and a few of her staffers think it would be a good idea for her to play Tina in a sketch. The Chicago-Sun Times reports that there's been talk of Sarah appearing on "SNL" as early as this Thursday during a special "Weekend Update." Yeah, a "Weekend Update" on Thursday. Go figure.

Apparently, the plan is for Sarah to make fun of Tina Fey's AMEX commercials with Martin Scorcese. If Sarah can't do this Thursday, then she might do the October 18th episode. SNL is a repeat this Saturday.

This is getting too fucking confusing. I'm already finding it hard to tell the difference between these two. I mean, Sarah Palin needs to stay in her world and Tina Fey needs to stay in her own. They shouldn't mix! You didn't see Tina Fey at the VP debate, did you? Wait. Maybe that was Tina Fey. See. I'm baffled!

If Sarah does do "SNL," can she please bring Joe Sixpack on with her? Seriously. I'm obsessed with him. He sounds hot.

Kim Kardashian posted this picture of her 14-year-old self to respond to all the HATERS that say she's had plastic surgery. Yes, she's 14 in this picture. It makes me feel all sorts of uncomfortable. I feel like I should be pouring myself a cup of iced tea and taking a seat. And if those bikini briefs were any higher she could wrap them over her shoulders.

Anypedo, Kim wrote this shit on her blog:

I HAVE NOT EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY!!!

I am definitely not against it at all, but haven’t yet had it! Personally, lip injections are the thing I would never do—even if I didn’t have full lips.

I think lip injections look very fake and bad and I wouldn’t want to kiss anyone with stuff in their lips—so I wouldn’t do it to myself.

This is a picture of me when I was about 14 years old in a bikini. I hope after seeing this you guys will never ask me a plastic surgery question again! I have had a size C since I was 11 years old! So one day I will definitely get a lift, but I am waiting until after I have kids. Until then I rely on a great supportive bra! LOL!

All the butt implant rumors are just so not true and now just silly to me. I have answered dozens of times “no I do not have butt implants,” but people just don’t seem to want to believe it!

I have always had an insecurity with my nose... People also have assumed I have had a nose job, but I have not! I look exactly the same as I did when I was a kid, except my nose has grown a little. I hate the bump on the side of my nose, but am way too afraid to mess with my face!

I was wondering what Kim was going to do to stay relevant now that she's been kicked off of "Dancing with the Has-Beens," and we have our answer! Pedo Bear is waiting in the woods for her to post pictures of her 11-year-old C cups.

Brad Pitt was back in New Orleans today bike riding to a meeting or some shit. I bet some of you crazy whores would sell one of your loved ones to be Brad's bike for one day. Brad usually doesn't make my pubes sweat, but he's looking kind of sexy in that Mormon outfit. I've always had a fucked up thing for Mormons. It must be the underwear.

Brother Brad also had a drawn picture of Obama on his notebook. I bet you one of the twin messiahs drew that with their eyes closed while on a bumpy plane ride. The twin messiahs also put that bike together in 30-seconds flat.

With just a few simple words, thousands of Brangaloonies have added Clint Eastwood's picture to their Saint Angie Jo shrine. You see, Clint said this about her: "I've always admired her talent. She's somewhat hampered sometimes by having this gorgeous face, the most gorgeous face on the planet. She's on covers and all that stuff."

Someone should call Clint today and see how his back feels from sleeping on the pull-out after his wife heard what he said. Actually, she probably doesn't mind since she was kissing Saint Angie's slug lips back in May.

And don't mind Clint, it's just the Cataracts talking. Besides, he obviously hasn't laid eyes on the beauty known as Spaghetti Cat! He's the one with the most gorgeous face on the planet and his career is paying because of it.

Birthday: 1971
Age: 36 or 37 (HA!)
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of HS of the Day: October 3, 2008
Claim to Fame: The first lady of Cameroon and known for her timeless beauty. According to Wiki, she known for her hairstyles including her signature banane. I think "banane" really means "weave color no matchey."

Where is she now? Ummm....getting her hair done Duh

Why is it HS of the Week? EYEBROWS!!!! Yes, that's reason enough.

This post is dedicated to our lovely Rupert, who would have won this honor, but he was needed in heaven.

Who wants to beat the shit out of Michael Lohan? - Popsugar

Miley Cyrus' hot piece sang at her birthday party, but why did he wear a shirt? - Just Jared

Nicollette Sheridan shows the 20-something twats how it's done. Just ignore her face - Hollywood Tuna

John Barrowman plays for both teams in his new video - Towleroad

Ashley Judd needs to burn that dress - Lainey Gossip

Elizabeth Hurley turns bitches on - Cityrag

JoJo's hot new boyfriend (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

12 months of Gemma Atkinson's enomorous tittays - Egotastic!

The Crackie of Camden thinks she's the next Sid Vicious - Hollywood Rag

Russell Simmons is a hot stud - IDLYITW

I used an older picture of Amy Wino because we already know what she looks like now. Her crack zombie image probably haunts your nightmares regularly. Tommy Girl and his alien army promise Wino that they can turn her back into that smiley girl with yellow teefs.

The Crackie of Camden reportedly received some kind of phone call from the Scientology Center in Los Angeles. They told Wino they could help her with that whole "being addicted to crack shit" by enrolling her into their Narconon drugs program. Translation: They want her CASH and her ice pop stash. I bet ice pops make Tommy Girl all giddy and shit.

A source told The Mirror, “They told her they wanted to help her beat drugs and could tailor-make a program so she wouldn’t have to go to a residential center. She liked that idea because her husband Blake is out of prison soon and wouldn’t want to be away from him when he’s finally freed.”

The program consists of three stages. The first part involves taking a bunch of vitamins. The second part includes a "detox diet" and saunas. Then you have to work through a series of Scientology self-help books. The final stage involves trading your soul and heart in for a memory chip and hard drive. That last part isn't known to the general public.

Hmmm...would you rather be a brainwashed alien worshiper with Tommy Girl's permanent shit stain on your nose? Or would you rather be a crackhead? Basically, would you rather have Stepford Katie's life or Wino's life? I'd go with the latter. Either way, she's totally fucked! Daddy Spears, come save this child from the aliens and the crack monsters!

Brit Brit piled her possum's nest into a balaclava and helmet to go go-karting in Orange, CA yesterday. You know that when she got on the track, everyone jumped out of their go-karts and ran for their lives! The pap who took this picture risked his life by getting that close to Brit behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

Our Lady of Cheetos was probably only there to shoot more shit for her upcoming DVD. During the past couple of weeks a camera crew has been following her greasy ass around to get footage for her new DVD or some shit. It's to show us all that she isn't crazy anymore. You know, because only sane bitches go go-karting!

I do like the Cheeto Ninja look, though. Ninja Cat would still kick her ass.