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Pamela Anderson is knocked up. Bitch can get in line, because I'm losing track on how many of these sluts are knocked up. Birth control anybody? TMZ reports that Pammy is going through with her divorce to Rick Soloman and she's carrying his baby. Is he sure that's his baby? He needs to call Maury.

Rick is telling people that Pammy's acting crazy, because she's knocked up and hopes she won't go through with the divorce. They got married in October. Pammy wants spousal support, but not child support.

Great, another child Pammy can leave in the hotel room why she goes off to party and get plastered

I'm guessing Pammy is telling him she's pregnant, so she can get more dough. She tends to play that game. She better ask Katie Holmes if she can borrow her fake baby bump.

That's exactly how my brains feel. Brit's shitty ass absolutely everywhere. Although InTouch gave Jamie Lynn a bigger picture. You know Brit is probably shredding InTouch in anger.

I'm going to say that Star Magazine has won this bottle. The Brit pic they choose and the kids with the tagline "INSANE" is the right amount of trash and high art. I applaud People for using a 50-year-old picture of Britney looking normal, but that Britney hasn't been around for a long ass time.

She's probably creaming frapp juices knowing she's on the cover of all the weeklies. I need a frapp just by looking at all this crap. Frapp with Jack...hold the frapp.

Star cover VIA Popbytes

Tommy Girl, Katie Holmes and his 3 kids were driving around their home in Telluride, CO recently when they noticed a woman stranded on the side of the snowy road. Tommy drove up in his Hummer (snicker) and immediately came to the woman's rescue!

A source told InTouch, "The police were waiting with the woman for a tow truck and all of a sudden, a Hummer pulled up and it was Tom Cruise!"

Tommy then told Katie to push the car out of the snow. No, apparently he pushed the car out with the help of his bodyguard. That woman is brave. If I saw Tommy Girl's crazy alien ass walking up to my car I'd probably hide under the backseat and call 911. He's worse than those creatures in "The Hills Have Eyes."

UsWeekly has pics of Brangelina with their kids at Chuck E. Cheese in Springfield, Missouri. What the hell did Angie eat? She probably sniffed the breadsticks, because that shit is made of butter with a sprinkle of flour and that's it.

A source said, “They like Springfield because no one ever bothers them." Um...color me naive, but wouldn't taking pictures of them constitute as them being "bothered?"

I would've loved to see Angie play skeeball. She probably tried to adopt one of those animatronic singing animals in the stage show.

I love Chuck E. Cheese, because I always try to pull Chuck E's tail and no I ain't being fresh!

Richard Simmons is out promoting the 20th Anniversary of his Sweatin' to the Oldies. That crap is out on DVD for the first time. Richard demonstrated his flexibility and luckily he was wearing panties. I don't think I can take seeing Richard Simmons' vagina. It's probably in shape though! I couldn't do that move either. If I could I wouldn't be sitting here typing to you guys. I'd be in the bathroom...ok...I'll stop.

I'd hit it. Well....he's rich! Those fat housewives pay a lot of money for his trash products.

Thanks Bananas

Tara Reid told OK! Magazine that she's not anorexic and that she's not a party girl boozer. She's responding to all the rumors that she's barfing up her food or not eating or something like that.

She said, “I’m not too thin. I go up 10 pounds, I go down 10 pounds. I was thin for a movie that I just finished [the upcoming horror film Vipers]. Now they’re going to see me and say I’m too fat because I’ve gained 10 pounds... I can’t win!" She's right, so why doesn't she just give up the game?

She also talked about all the stories of her being a drunk bitch, "If I have a drink in my hand, it doesn’t make me an alcoholic. If I want a glass of wine, I want a glass of wine. I shouldn’t be afraid of it because of what the media might say. Anything you do, you’re screwed. That’s the lesson I’ve learned."

She must have a really long clit, because her nose isn't growing from all the lies she's telling. Whorenocchio! She almost looks presentable in that pic above thanks to the magic of Photoshop. She looks 40 instead of 65.

Last night's episode of "The Bad Girls Club 2" was like an episode of "Jerry Springer" but without the beauty, class and elegance. Tanisha spent the entire episode attacking the stripper and pornstar, Cordelia. Tanisha attacked for her everything from eating someone else's food to bringing a dude home. It came to blows when Cordelia wouldn't take it anymore and summoned Tanisha to the kitchen for a fight.

I was sitting there thinking "Cordelia, just call her a fat bitch. Call her a fat bitch." Cordelia did and that's when Tanisha really went off. She never hit her though. Tanisha is all bark and no bite.

Tanisha also uses the phrase "pop off way too much. Pop off!

Click here if you can't see the video

Last night was the People's Choice Awards which I heard was a sucky mess. Unfortunately, I missed it. Joaquin Phoenix won some award and he used several cards to give his speech in honor of the writer's strike. Too bad he didn't spell his name right. Bitch needs to lay off the Jack before going on TV.

Splash

Johnny Depp is on the cover of Rolling Stone where he talks about Sweeney Todd, singing and boring crap like that. Who cares Johnny? Just take off your top! Show us your tits. You can mosey on over to Rolling Stone to read the entire interview.

Oh and his tattoo says his daughter's name Lily Rose. At first I thought it said Laila Rowe which is like a cheap ass Claire's.

I know it's so cliche to think he's hot, but he is. Dirty hot.