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Sorry! That's the first thing I think of when I see a Got Milk ad. I think to myself, "That must be some neurotic dude that gets his load so perfectly neat on the upper lip like that." Patrick Bateman from American Pyscho probably delivers his that way.

RiRi looks hot though.

Splash

Avril Lavigne has trademarked her name for bath products and crap. This means a fragrance might not be far away. P-Fucking-U! She filed a trademark last month with the United States Patent and Trademark Office for exclusive rights to her name regarding fragrances, aftershave, bath soap, body lotion and talc.

Avril's perfume will probably smell like something that might be something that probably is that, but is something else. Basically a mixture of douche water, burnt eyeliner, Manic Panic hair dye and maple syrup.

Source

Eva Longoria said she grew up being the ugly duckling in her family, because she had black hair and dark skin. This dumb bitch said, "I was the darkest one of my family. I was the only one with black hair and the only one with dark skin. All my sisters were light blondes with hazel eyes. They used to call me ugly duckling."

Eva said her nickname was "ugly duckling" and she was bullied in school for it.

Did this ho go to Supermodel High, because there's no way she was the ugliest girl in school. If she was an ugly duckling in high school then she's still an ugly duckling now, because she looks basically the same.

I think it's a hispanic thing. Some of my hispanic cousins pack on the powder to lighten their skin, because they think that's what is beautiful. They don't want to be dark for some reason. They also wear green contacts and dye their hair lighter. Dumb bitches! I tell those skanks they look like Michael Jackson with an orange wig on. Not a good look.

Here's forever ugly Eva at her dumb movie premiere last night with her parents and Nicky Sheridan.

Source: Daily Mail

Nigella Lawson said that when she dies she won't leave her kids a penny! Cheap ass. Nigella and her husband, Charles Saatchi, have a combined fortune of over $200 million. Her husband has his own ad agency and his art collection alone is said to be worth a fortune. Nigella has 2 kids from a previous marriage and Charles has 1 daughter from a previous marriage.

Nigella said, "I am determined that my children should have no financial security. It ruins people not having to earn money. I argue with my husband Charles, because he believes that you should be able to leave money to your children. I think we'll have to agree to disagree."

Nigella came from a rich family and she married into money. Of course she did.

Being broke also ruins people! If I was one of her kids and I read that statement, I would immediately enroll in an art class. I would duplicate all of daddy's fancy art pieces, replace that shit and sell the originals on the black market. You got to get yours somehow.

Source

A witness told UsWeekly that Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert were making out at Tenjune in NYC last night. The source said Paris and Elisha arrived separately. Paris was being a dumb whore most of the night dancing on banquettes.

Elisha and Paris starred together in House of Wax in 2005.

I've said time and time again, this is how Paris greets her friends! She sticks her tongue down their throats. I expect this kind of fake lesbian behavior from Paris, but Elisha?! The girl next door has really disappointed me.

Do you think when you're making out with Paris the wonk doesn't look as bad close up? You probably don't have a chance to open your eyes when her tongue is down your throat, because her toxic skank is too busy attacking your insides.

Evi Quaid is married to Randy Quaid and she's nuts. TMZ reports that Evi caused a scene and went crazy at the offices of the Actor's Equity Association. Equity had some sort of problem with Randy and 23 members filed charges about rehearsals and such for "Lone Star Love" in Seattle. They were probably not getting breaks or shit like that. Equity wouldn't comment on why members filed charges. So...

Hot Evi and Randy burst into the offices last week. Evi allegedly started screaming at the 76-year-old receptionist. She also kicked her repeatedly in the shins with her high-heeled boots drawing blood and leaving the dude with a scar. Eva told several members to "Fuck Off" and claimed they were part of some Nazi plot to take down Randy Quaid.

Another staff member claims Evie screamed at her, "I'm going to get you...You are a Nazi bitch." One member also claims Evie bitched her out on the phone and when she told her "the call would be terminated" Evie replied, "I'd like to terminate your existence on this planet."

Four members have filed papers requesting a restraining order against Evi.

Going to bed with Randy Quaid every night sure does crazy things to your brain. Evi is probably one of those people that wait for bad shit to happen to them, because they are just yearning to beat a bitch down. I wouldhate to see how she acts when a restaurant screws up her order. She probably leaves and comes back with a flamethrower.

I'm sure Randy wants to leave her ass, but he values his life more.