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Eva LongWHORIA is out pimping that shitty movie she's in about a dead bitch haunting the girlfriend of her fiancee. Think Blithe Spirit, but with a no-talent whore in it. This movie should have went straight to BETA. Yes, I know BETA doesn't exist anymore. That's the point.

That shit comes out on Friday, I think. I've been reading the reviews and all the critics seem bothered by the fact that her character's name is Kate Spencer. Not very Latino. Eva probably came up with that shit herself.

Anyway, Eva said that if she died she definitely come back to haunt her husband Tony Parker. She said, “I would sabotage every relationship he is in. I would not let him move on, I’d just lay in bed and watch him. He’s not doing anything without me. I’d be like if I’m going to the afterlife you’re coming with me.” Shit, she's haunting him while she's alive.

Here's Eva at the Ken Paves (so typical) in Los Angeles today with her mother.

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Marie Osmond has confirmed that she's getting her own talk show in 2009. Oprah has nothing to worry about. The show doesn't have a title so far, but I'm going to take a wild guess and say they are going to call it "The Marie Osmond Show." Hollywood is really creative that way.

Marie said, "I want it to be a fun show, that girlfriend destination where we can all laugh a little bit, cry a little bit and just enjoy life." And faint a little and piss a little, because that's what menopausal woman do!

They will give a talk show to ANYONE. I mean...Gabrielle Carteris, Carnie Wilson, Tempestt Bledsoe, Sharon Osbourne, Tony Danza, Magic Johnson and Chevy Chase! Now you can add Marie Osmond to that mess list. I shouldn't have said Carnie, because that was some good trash.

The only way I will watch this is if she has a daily segement of "hot topics" like on The View. Instead of discussing the day's events with other people, I want her to discuss them with her dolls. You just know she talks to them before she goes to bed and tucks them in and shit. Besides Marie's dolls probably have a higher IQ than Sherri Shepherd.

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Wino's mommy, Janis Wino, spoke to the Mirror and she doesn't fuck around. Janis spoke about the video of Wino smoking. She said her daughter "could be dead in a year." She even asked her where she wants to be buried.

Janis said, "I've already come to terms with her dead. I've steeled myself to ask her what ground she wants to be buried in, which cemetery. Because the drugs will get her if she stays on this road.She's invited me to the Grammy awards next month, but part of me thinks she won't be alive by then. I look at Heath Ledger and Britney. She's on their path. It's like watching a car crash - this person throwing all these gifts away."

Janis also said that she doesn't know if rehab is going to help Wino at all. Wino has always been like that even as a little girl. Janis said, "When she was just two or three she nearly choked on Cellophane. I had to stick my hand down her throat and pull it out." What does that have to do with smoking crack? When I was just two I choked on a carrot! Ok, that explains everything. Let's move on.

Janis goes on and on and on. You can read the entire interview here.

Pepaw and Mama Je'e Wino are always speaking to the press about their daughter. Is that their full-time job? They go always go and on and on. They seem like the kind of people that keep you on the phone for hours. Even when you tell them " I have to let you go" they keep going! No wonder Wino smokes crack! It's the only way to deal with her parents' blabber mouths.

Janis is hardcore though. I believe everything she says. She looks like she could rough a ho up.

JLo hasn't popped her twins out yet, but Star Magazine claims they know their names. Over a week ago JLo's mommy, Guadalupe, picked up two gold-rope baby ID bracelets with the names Max and Emme on them. She got that shit from Genesis Jewelers in Yorktown Heights, N.Y.

Name change! I doubt JLo is going to name her son the same name as Xtina's son. I will also be disappointed if this is the names they go with. I'm expecting JLo to give me some tacky ass names. I'm thinking Armando Diddy for her boy and Concepcion Ben Affleck for her girl. They can also decide to give the kids their names, JLo and Skeletor!

Britney followed up her crazed night of fighting with Sam Lutfi by buying a Mercedes! Britney, Sam and Lynne Spears visited a dealer this morning to spend some of Brit's cash. TMZ reports that there will be some sort of Brit intervention this week. Brit probably told her mom, "Ah'll buy you a Mercedes eff you doesn't intervenshun me!" Lynne probably shrugged and said ok.

Britney also performed one of my biggest pet peeves! She carrying a ceramic mug outdoors! That shit belongs inside. Wait, why isn't she holding Starbucks? They better do something quick or their business will tank.

She was also holding a Kabbalah book. Like she knows what that is! She probably thought it was a Kama Sutra book and got really depressed when she found out what it really was. She was planning to show Adnan some freaky moves.

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