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Close your legs ladies if you don't want to get knocked up, because another one has got bitten!It's in the air. Matthew McConaughey is expecting a baby with his girlfriend, Camilla Alves. He wrote on his website, "My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together ... its 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far."

He totally wrote that when he was stoned. What am I saying? He's always stoned. I'm surprised he didn't fall up his announcement with "my spermies works!" I can't wait to hear what name these two come up with and by "these two" I mean him.

I don't know how Erykah Badu hears with that major afro on her head, but it's fabulous. Who needs sense of sound when you look this hot? Wait...hold up....has anyone seen Anna Nicole's dog Sugarpie? You better check, because I think she may be living on Erykah's head. She probably couldn't stand Larry Birkhead. Sugarpie is better off with Erykah.

Erykah totally keeps her weed in there....and bong.....and weed grinder....and a bag of Fritos for after.

Here she is arriving at MTV today.

Image: INFDaily.com

25-year-old Brad Renfro was found dead in his L.A. home today. Cause of death is currently unknown. Brad is best known for his work in "The Client" and "Apt Pupil." He just finished filming "The Informers" based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel with Winona Ryder, Billy Bob Thornton and Kim Basinger.

Rest in peace.

Source

TMZ reports that little Disney twinkie, Zac Efron, was rushed to Cedars-Sinai hospital today. His rep said, "He had his appendix removed and is recuperating."

Appendicitis? Yeah, I've had "that" a few times. I'm guessing Zac finally met a dick he couldn't take, but tried to take it anyway. It happens to the best of us. Ass explosion isn't pretty or fun.

The twinkie finally popped. Get Well Zac and don't eat the beef! I had to warn Gwyneth about this earlier.

Here's what resident "The View" genius, Sherri Shepderd, said yesterday on the show, "There is a picture of me with Shirley Caesar, who is like the black Patti LaBelle." Whoopi had to remind Sherri that Patti LaBelle is black.

Barbara Walters chimed in with, "It's a good thing you're not running for office. Because you'd be considered bigoted right now."

I wish she would've chimed in with, "You're fired!" How does this nitwit still have a job? How does she even get dressed in the morning? This idiot probably forgets how and has to ask her kid.

Source

Thanks Amy

Rosie O'Donnell took to her blog today to comment on Brit Brit's drama. She compared her to Princess Diana and thinks Brit could suffer the same fate. Ro writes:

"I remember the tunnel as it appeared on the news, lit by headlights, flashlights, red lights. Between the cement tall pillars was a heap of twisted metal. I saw it then, and I can see it now. Diana dead."

"She will be trying to get away, but they will chase her, just as they chased her into that church yesterday. There were dozens of them, jostling their way into sanctuary, elbowing past each other, just to creep closer to her. Even her last-minute, folded-hand prayers can’t be kept sacred. There can be no silent moments in a crowd; no silence, and no secrets."

She went on, "At eight years old, she bravely stood before a microphone. By 17, she had sold 25 million records. Where were the sidewalk-skinned knees, the chalk stained hands, the monkey bars, the passed notes? A Disney set is not a childhood, no matter how many bright colors they use, or how cheerful the script. Not a girl, barely even a woman yet, they chased her. A mob of stalkers for whom no stalking laws have been written. Smother. Crush. Flash. Photo Credit. Even Dr. “Get Real” Phil got in on the action. Unreal."

"The tunnel is crowded now. There are only inches of separation between vulnerability and disaster."

I think there's a pretty big difference. I see what Ro's trying to say, but I really do believe that Britney loves the attention at times. I mean she's dating one of them! She's sleeping with the so-called enemy and she's fucking cool with it.

Yes, the paps are crazy at her, but I think she brings it on. She brought it on by constantly going out and constantly wanting to get attention. If she doesn't want them around anymore, she needs to pull it back and disappear. It's at a fever pitch and if she wants it to stop, only she can really make it stop. She won't though, bitch loooves it.

Rap bitch, Khia, does an advice column for Hood Magazine when she really should be doing an advice column for every major newspaper out there. Dear Abby who? Khia tells it like it is. Here's her advice to little LaShawn:

Khia,
Hey girl I hope you choose this to go in the magazine. My name is Lashawn and I'm seventeen down here in Dade county. Anyway I just had my second baby from a grown ass man, 27 to be exact, who said he was gone be there after the baby was born.

He kept fucking me while I was pregnant all the way up to the doctor said I couldn't have any more sex. After that he disappeared. I feel so lost. What should I do?
- - LaShawn

Khia's response:

AMBER ALERT!

Somebody call the police, there's a molestor on the loose!!!! Oh my bad, I guess I'm the only one who see's this is a crime. What's really hood Lashawn? Sorry to be so blunt but you were fucking a child molestor and be glad he's gone. I know you may think you're in love, but this was never love on his end. This was a grown ass man fucking a vulnerable child, now about to be a mother. My advice to you is it's time to grow up and the first lesson you have to learn is:

Don't trust no nigga
Trust no man but God
Love yourself and respect your body
Don't let anyone talk you out of your panty pudding

You let this man fuck you with no protection and get you pregnant. Girl you slipping and its time for you to start preparing for your child. He or she needs you to give them the love that you missed along the way and trust me you won't find that love in any man, only from God and within yourself. Get prayed up and surround yourself with women of wisdom who can help you along the way. Why are you worried about the man, its time to give all that love and energy to your child and I promise

She had me at panty pudding. Somebody give Khia her own talk show now! This bitch needs a national platform to spread the truth. Panty pudding! I bet yours is tapioca. Check. You know I'm right. Mine is butterscotch.

VIA Crunk + Disorderly

Corey Delaney from Australia is on the run from his parents after he threw "the best party ever" this past weekend. The 16-year-old threw a 500-person house party while his parents were on vacation. Neighbors called the police and when they arrived, all the kids in the house stormed the streets, throwing bottles at police cars. Helicopters and a dog squad were brought in to disperse the crowd. Corey stayed inside. The police now want someone to pay a $20,000 clean-up bill.

Corey went on TV right after the incident where he said he didn't really want to apologize. He kept his sunglasses on the entire time and when the reporter asked him to take him off he said, "I won't. They are famous." She also told him to take a good hard look at himself and he responded, "I have. Everyone has. They love it." He probably won't take off his sunglasses, because his eyes are shot to hell from all the weed he's been smoking.

Since the story and Corey's interview hit, he has been getting offers from everywhere. He has reportedly already been offered $2,000 to throw a party and has signed a deal with Zoo Weekly. Offers are even coming in from America.

He still won't go home, because he's afraid of his parents. His dad said, "There has been a lot of damage that's been caused and bridges that need to be rebuilt."

Bridges?! Corey is pretty awesome, but that's because he's 16. I can't wait to see what this douche is like when he's 30. I bet nothing will change. He'll still be a douche stoner living in his parent's house and still wearing those "famous sunglasses."

He's still pretty fucking hot.

Thanks Adrian & Jessica

Ellen Degeneres can keep the title of TV's favorite bitch, because Oprah has her own TV channel. Another one! Oprah has reached a deal with Discovery Communications to operate the OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. Discovery will give up its Discovery Health channel to OWN. The channel was started in 1999 has over 70 million subscribers.

Oprah will have complete control over OWN, but they are currently looking for a CEO. Please, you know she's going to give it to Gayle. Oprah said, "For me, the launch of 'The Oprah Winfrey Network' is the evolution of the work I've been doing on television all these years and a natural extension of my (syndicated daytime) show."

She went on to say, "I will soon control the world and your souls!" No, but she wanted to. What about the Oxygen Network? I know she's too good for them now, but that shit is good. Any network that produces "The Bad Girls Club" is fine by me.

The OWN channel is going to be so boring. It's going to be Oprah preaching to us 24-hours a day about how we need to listen to her ass and shit. She's right, but still. I don't want to hear it!

She just needs to run for leader of the universe and get it over with. Put us out of our misery.

Source: USA Today

Life & Style has a pretty hilarious article of Brit Brit's visit to a Betsey Johnson store with Adnan this past Sunday in Sherman Oaks, CA. Witnesses claim Brit grabbed a bunch of things to try on, went into the dressing and came out completely naked.

A salesgirl said, "I was blown away. Britney's private parts were right in front of me!" Blown away? I would've probably blown up. Then after I finished picking up my body parts and eyeballs from the ground I would've grabbed my camera and began snapping away. Dollar signs! Dog Fancy needs a sexy centerfold this month.

The salesgirl went on to say, "I grabbed a dress to cover her and she screamed, 'Get away from me! Don't you fucking come near me! Then she disappeared in the dressing room with Adnan for 45 minutes. They were making weird noises. It was disgusting."

"I couldn't understand a word she was saying. She was slurring and spitting, and talking with a British accent. Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy. I wanted to help her, but she was so mean that I left her alone. Then she muttered, 'Fuck you!' and left the store."

Britney seriously has an amazing life. Oh how I just want to be able to walk into a store, strip naked, fuck my boyfriend then tell the salespeople to "fuck off!" as I stroll out. That would be pretty killer. I'm going to try that this weekend. Make sure you stand by the phone, because I will be calling one of you after I'm totally arrested.

Oh and don't ever change in the Betsey Johnson dressing room in Sherman Oaks unless you want some ungodly diseases or a stale Cheeto. I bet you Cheetos just fall out of her cooze as she walks.