Archives

HoHan continued to celebrate her 42nd 22nd birfday by going to the gayest place on earth....Disneyland! Actually, the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, CA is the gayest place on earth. Disneyland is a close second.

HoHan was joined by SamRo and her much older sister Ali Lohan. Is Ali fucking wearing a choker?! I have to hand it to her. She's really committed to looking like a middle-aged, twice-divorced officer manager from the early 90s.

You know they only went on the Alice in Wonderland ride so that SamRo's little finger could fall down HoHan's fire rabbit hole. Hopefully, they also hit up the Haunted Mansion ride, because that's really the best place in Disneyland to do sexy sexy times on the down low. So I've heard.

Here's more gayelles in Wonderland on Thursday along with some pics of SamRo playing gross music for a bunch of skanks at Tao Beach in Las Vegas yesterday.

Brangelina's golden twins have not even step foot on mortal ground yet and they are already being honored. Mayor Christian Estrosi of Nice, France said that the twin chosen ones will always be considered honorary citizens of his city.

Saint Angelina is currently resting on her ivory throne in the Lenval Hospital in Nice waiting to bestow the world with our new messiahs. The mayor believes that the twins being born in his city is a great honor.

The mayor told reporters on Friday, "That is for the citizens of Nice a very great honor and a great satisfaction. We are very happy for this choice of Mrs. Angelina Jolie and Mr. Brad Pitt and I want to say to them that I wish a lot of joy to them and the babies, and great success for all of their lives. All their lives they will be Nicois and all their life they will be able to come to Nice and we will receive them with great honor."

Even the mayor of Nice is a Brangaloonie! Personally, I think being named honorary citizens is not good enough for these two perfect humans. They should be given the National Order of the Legion of Honor. Fuck, just name them the Queens of the Universe already.

Source

Sorry, but Jenny McCarthy won this round. Jim Carrey may have the attitude and it looks like RuPaul's "Supermodel" is playing in his head while he's working that swimsuit, but the bitch did not come prepared.

First of all, that suit makes his badonkadonk look fat. His chichis could use a little padding AND homegirl didn't wax her crotch jungle. Take some NADS to that mess! WAIT!? And is that cellulite I see on Jim? Quick! Get Phoebe Price and her cellulite-finding magnifying glass to get to the bottom of this.

Jim, next time try a Miraclesuit tankini.

Here's more of Jenny and Jim being bored and entertaining the paparazzi outside their shack in Malibu yesterday.

Mia Michaels - Dance choreographer and lead gayelle on "So You Think You Can Dance?" She is a lezzie, right?

Katherine Helmond (80)
Eva Green (28)
RZA (39)
Edie Falco (45)
Douglas Sills (48)
Huey Lewis (58)
Judge Joe Brown (61)
Shirley Knight (72)

Who let the crackhead out of the bag?! Wino is supposed to be grounded! She is in so much fucking trouble. Daddy Wino is totally going to add on an extra week to her crackpipe restriction. She'll have to smoke her crack out of light bulbs.

Anyway, the Crackie of Camden was back to terrorizing the streets of London this morning. She stopped by a kosher food store to pick up some snacks and accidentally smudged the glass counter. She tried to clean it by rubbing her bony ass on it. Great, now they have to send that counter to the nearest toxic waste dump. It's ruined.

I totally miss Wino's filthy ass ballet slippers. The nurse shoes just aren't doing the trick. Although, the fact that she's kept them so clean looking this long is fucking mind-boggling.

The Empress of Lucite has offered us peons a chance to own a piece from her collection of elegant treasures. Shauna Sand is auctioning off an exquisite robe bought from Linens N' Things on the exclusive and private website, eBay. The auction reads:

Playboy Playmate & TV & Film Star Shauna Sand's Size L Pink Frottier Cawo Robe worn during her Playboy Playmate shoot and an amazing one-of-a-kind photo of Shauna modeling the robe just for you autographed by Shauna herself and Certificate of Authenticity! Direct from Shauna's Bedroom to Your Doorstep!

An amazing bonus brought to you by Shauna herself! Shauna is also going to send you a one-of-a-kind photo of her modeling therobe just for you! Shauna has autographed the photo (in real ink!) especially for the winner! This photo can be found nowhere else on the planet!

What a collector's item!

I'm pretty sure Size L stands for Size LUXURY. And what the hell does "real ink" mean? Shauna probably means liquid gold, because that's the only thing she uses to sign things.

This isn't the first time Shauna has put her elegant goods up for sale. A couple of months ago, she tried to sell rocks on eBay! Speaker rocks! I envy the lucky bitch who owns those things.

If Shauna's royal robe isn't under my Christmas bonsai tree this year, I'm going to be livid. You whores better start putting your dimes together, because this auction is going to reach at least $1 million. Luxury like this doesn't come cheap!

Click here to bid! BID!!!!

Thanks Brucie

WTF?! Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest was today and Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas did not win! Okay, she wasn't really expected to win, but she's the only reason why I watch this gross dry vomit fiesta. Sonya placed fourth or fifth or some shit. Oh well, she'll get them next year.

The 10-minute competition ended with Joey Chestnut and Kobayashi tying with 59 dogs each! The contest went into overtime and Chestnut and Kobayashi were given 5 dogs each. Whoever swallowed all 5 first, won. Chestnut won that bitch. It was rumored that Kobayashi was going to retire, but he denied it and said he'll be back next year.

I should enter that shit next year. I can probably swallow 10 weiners a minute....AT LEAST. Below is the clip of Chestnut and Kobayashi battling it out until the end. That shit is nasty.

It's been almost two weeks since my last post about international supermodel and "Hot Babe of the Year' Phoebe Price. I've been going through major withdrawals and I might have been caught "canoodling" with a raw chicken cutlet or two.

Seriously, where has PP been?! Maybe she was having her chicken cutlets rotated. No! Thanks to her pivotal role in "Get Smart," PP is a hot commodity in Hollywood! She was probably shooting some major feature film or posing for the cover of Elle Greenland.

I can breathe a sigh of relief now that I know Chicken Cutlets is alive and well. Here's PP at her day job as a valet outside of a TGIF Friday's. I kid, I kid. She's waiting for her cutlet mobile and showing off her exclusive photo spread in Star Magazine.

Vadge is hypnotizing A-Rod with some sort of kabbalalalalah voodoo spell. That's what A-Rod's buff ass wifey claims anyway. According to the NYDN, Cynthia Rodriguez has told her friends that Vadge is the reason why her marriage is in the shit box. Cynthia is currently shacking up at Lenny Kravitz's pad in Paris, because she doesn't want to deal with all the homo drama.

A friend of C-Hulk claims she found a letter from A-Rod to Vadge where he calls her "his true soulmate." Yeah, because both can probably bench press a Mormon family. C-Hulk reportedly told her friend, "I feel like Madonna is using mind control over him. I don't recognize the man he's become. He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father. Today he's very cold and calculating." The Vadge strikes again! She definitely held A-Rod in her "vadge-choke-hold" and forced him to hand over his nuts to her. She did the same thing to Guy.

C-Hulk had a baby only 10 weeks ago. Her friend said that A-Rod was only with the baby for 10-minutes after she was born and then split for Vadge's tomb. 3 weeks later, he told his wifey that he was leaving her. Why didn't C-Hulk pick up a car and smash it on his head?! She's capable of it.

The friend went on to say, "Cynthia was so innocent. She thought he just respected [Madonna]...and said, 'I respected her too - her creativity and ability to reinvent herself. I never dreamed this 49-year-old woman was anything more than a friend."



There's only way to solve all of this. You know what I'm going to suggest, right? CAGE FIGHT! Imagine a Vadge and She-Hulk cage fight? That would be like Godzilla vs. King Kong! On second thought, Vadge and She-Hulk should team up and pummel the shit out of A-Rod.