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Good Luck Britney

I was sooo close in my goal to not post a Britney story for one full day. Oh well, I lose.

A judge in the Brit/KFed custody battle has ordered that Brit must be tested for controlled substances and booze twice a week.

The judge feels that "there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by Britney." Here's what else the judge ordered:

Custody stays at 50/50 for now

Brit and KFed can't talk shit in public about each other or each other's family members

Brit, KFed and anyone else can't use corporal punishment against the kids

They must each complete the "Parenting Without Conflict"

program and go to co-parenting counseling together

Brit and KFed must not drink or take controlled substances

during the care of their kids or 12 hours before taking care of their kids

Damn, that shit is like a monastery. How the hell are you supposed to properly take care of your kids without drinking?! Booze and pills keep you calm.

I have no idea how she's going to go 12 hours without booze, pills or drugs. She is royally fucked. She can't even drink NyQuil! Can she even sniff freon from the A/C? If so, that's her best best. Suck the freon dry.

What's with the corporal punishment crap? Who's been slapping the kids around?

Source: TMZ

Posted by: Michael K

279 comments •

Britney Spears

If She Only Knew

Vanessa Hudgens was on The Tyra Banks Show yesterday in a pre-taped interview before pictures of her hairy bush were splattered all over the internet. Vanessa was asked a question by an audience member not knowing what the future held for her.

The audience member asked, "When you read about young stars like Britney and Lindsay and them getting in trouble. How does that affect you personally? "

Vanessa responded, "Um...I honestly just think it's stupid. I mean it's easy to stay out of those situations. But yeah, I think it's easy to stay out of those situations. You just have to smart about your decisions."

Like maybe hit DELETE after you take pictures of your naked ass. Stupid slut. Actually, that was a smart decision. Girl is a household name now. So yes, good advice Vanessa!

Ugh and how annoying is Tyra's show? I tried to watch 20 seconds of it yesterday and got so bored of Tyra acting the fool and talking about herself I had to shut it off.

Click here to see the video of Vanessa being dumb on Ty Ty's show

Source

Posted by: Michael K

71 comments •

Dumbasses

Ernie Chambers Is A Hot And Crazy Bitch

Senator Ernie Chambers of Nebraska filed a lawsuit against God last week for causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." Ernie isn't a religious person and has even criticized Christians in the past.

Ernie filed his lawsuit in response to another lawsuit that he thinks is stupid, basically. Ernie's trying to make the point that anyone can sue anyone for any reason. DUH! Don't we know this already.

Can you say "time on your hands?"

However, this has given me an idea! We should all file a class action lawsuit against Britney, Paris, Lindsay, Nicole, Tom, Katie, Posh, Becks, Angie, Brad and whoever else for forcing us to deal with their nonsense and drama day in and day out. We'd totally win and then we can finally retire.

Ernie for President!

Source

Posted by: Michael K

94 comments •

Hotness • Real People

Goth Doll

Lately, Kelly Osbourne has been looking quite hot to me. She looks like something that belongs in a Tim Burton movie, but she just looks so precious. Her skin is like gleaming white porcelain. It's a lovely change from the tanorexic, fake tittied skanks we usually see. From now on I'm only going to be nice to her. SIKE!!!!

Here's Kelly and Kate Moss' current piece Jamie Hince in London last night. Ugh, Dreamboat Doherty really needs to come out of rehab right now. I'm so sick of seeing this fug ass Hince! He looks like Count Von Count!

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

87 comments •

Kate Moss • Kelly Osbourne

Tuesday, September 18th 2007

Kelly Osbourne

Tuesday, September 18th 2007

Kelly Osbourne

Tuesday, September 18th 2007

Kelly Osbourne

Is The World Flat?

Is the World flat? Sherri Shepherd doesn't know the answer to that question. Sherri said on "The View" today that she didn't believe in evolution. When asked by Whoopi Goldberg if she thought the world was flat she said,

"I don't know. I never thought about it Whoopi. Is the world flat? I never thought about ...I...I...No....But I'll tell you what I have thought about. How I'm going to feed my child, take care of my family. 'Is the world flat' has not been an important thing to me."

Is the World flat? I don't know either. Oh lord, I'm as dumb as Sherri! Seriously, we learned that mess in the 3rd grade or something. Thinking about how to feed your child has nothing to do with knowing if the World is flat or not. Sherri knows this!

Wait...seriously...is the World flat? I'm joking! Everyone knows it's square!

Visit The Huffington Post to watch the clip

Source

Posted by: Michael K

268 comments •

Dumbasses • Talk Shows

Horror Sex

Fat-mouthed Jordan has compared her sex life with wifey Peter Andre to a horror movie. In the past Jordan has been very open about her sex life comparing Peter's dick size to a cable TV remote control and talking about how maybe one day she'll shit in front of him.

This time she said, "Pete is the sicko, not me. I'm an extremist. Have you seen the film Hostel? Our sex life is like that."

What the hell does that mean? Actually, makes sense to me! Jordan's coochie cat is like an open, bloody wound and Pete runs from it like a screaming girl in fright whenever he sees it.

Source - Image: Splash

Thanks Lucinda

Posted by: Michael K

67 comments •

Jordan & Harvey • Peter Andre