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Just Another Day In the Life

First things first, remember Bit Bit (pictured above)? Where the hell is that dog. That was like her pride and joy last year and now I haven't seen that albino bitch in a long. Brit probably deep fried that ho up. Anyway, Brit has been freed of all dog abuse charges. The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals wanted to speak to Brit about one of her dogs, London, breaking its leg.

The L.A. President of the SPCA said, “The dog didn’t need a real cast or surgery. There was just a splint put on the dog. The dog got under someone’s foot in the walk-in closet. It’s not that unusual for people to step on their dogs by accident or trip over them. Things like this can happen.” Uh huh, bitch found out KFed subppoenaed one of her friends again and kicked it in anger. Anyway, Brit is clear of all alleged wrong doing. Hooray for dogs of the world, NOT.

Earlier I wrote about child services launching an investigation against Brit Brit Spears. Well, DFCS said they are following up on tips they received from several anonymous sources. The sources claim Brit doesn't brush the boys' teeth, doesn't put them to bed and gives them booze to shush them up. Why couldn't she be my mom? Reportedly, Brit feeds the boys alcohol so they can be quiet and sleepy.

These supposed secret allegations ended up in legal papers filed by KFed's lawyer which makes it look like KFed was the one making the complaints.

DRAMZ! Jesus, I need a drink after all this. I should call up JJ and SPF, they probably know where the booze is cheap and unlimited.

Source , Source

Posted by: Michael K

89 comments •

Britney Spears • KFed

Blowing Chunks With Fergie

Fergie Fug performed at the Minnesota State Fair on Saturday night and a Dlisted reader caught FF blowing chunks all over the Big Slide. Glamorous.

Here's what my reader said:

Fergie was at the MN State Fair on Saturday night. She had a concert at the main stage. My daughter and I were at the fair walking around, not realizing that she was there until we walked by one of the Radio stations broadcast booth and she was in the booth doing an interview. My daughter was geeked by the thought that she would be able to see Fergie in real life. We tried to see her, but there were too many people. Anyways, a while later my daughter decided that she wanted to go down the "giant slide". We made our way over there and while we were waiting in line on the steps going up to the top of the slide, we look up at the top and there is Fergie with 3-4 big body guard types about to go down the slide. Me and my daughter stood there and watched as the Fug went down the slide...then Fergie gets to the bottom and blows chunks!!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!! They had to close the slide down for about 20-30 minutes to get it cleaned up. She didn't even say sorry or anything, she just got up and her and the bodygaurds left. 2 year olds ride this slide over and over again and have no problem, but the bitch couldnt handle it. Sorry, didnt have my camera on me to get a pic of her blowing chunks.

What is wrong with that girl?! Can't she keep her insides to herself. Damn, dispose of that crap in public. First, the pee and now the vom. Please don't tell me she's going to caca in public next. I just couldn't handle that. Meth turns your insides out.

Posted by: Michael K

86 comments •

Fergie

Passing Fluids

Just a few seconda ago, Cameron Diaz was dating John Mayer. Just a few seconds before that it was Criss Angel and then before that was Kelly Slater. Well, this week she's apparently dating Bradley Cooper.

E! Online says they've been dating for the past couple of weeks which is weird, because wasn't Cam boinking John Mayer last week? SLUT!

Sources say the two have been sending each other "flirty" text messages for the past couple of weeks. Flirty text messages? Amateurs. Get on the clam and do it like it should be done.

Seriously, all these skanks date each other. Hollywood is full of sluts. It's a den of SIN! Everything's ungodly! Marguerite Perrin was right!

Posted by: Michael K

100 comments •

Cameron Diaz

Light 'Em Up!

Happy 100th Birthday granny, now light it up! Winnie Langley celebrated the big 1-0-0 by smoking her 170,000th ciggie. She started smoking in 1914 when she was 7-years-old.

She said, "I have smoked ever since infant school and I have never thought about quitting. There were not all the the health warnings like there are today when I started. It was the done thing."

She said she's never had health problems, because she's never inhaled. Ok, Bill Clinton! What surprises me more is that Winnie actually knows how many ciggies she's smoked. I can hardly remember what day it is. Winnie is no joke and she doesn't give a fuck!

Britney Spears has a new idol.

Posted by: Michael K

95 comments •

Real People

Leave Owen Alone!

Owen Wilson has issued a statement asking to be left the hell alone.

"I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time."

Owen was rushed to the hospital yesterday after he was taken ill at his Santa Monica home. The National Enquirer reports he slit his wrists and overdosed on pills, although nothing has been confirmed. I'm so sure like Owen is really going to admit to that shit. Other media outlets have reported that the reason he is in the hospital is still unknown.

I blame Kate Hudson, because why not? She's evil enough to do "The Skeleton Key" which means she's pure evil!

Seriously though, I hope the suicide rumors ain't true.

Posted by: Michael K

122 comments •

Sadness

There's A Breakdown Coming Right Around The Corner......

L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is reportedly conducting an investigation into possible child abuse coming from Britney Spears. An unscheduled hearing went down this morning with KFed's and Britney's lawyers. TMZ does not know the specific allegations, but a hearing has been scheduled for September 4th to follow-up today's hearing.

Oh, here comes that breakdown. I feel it coming....4...3....2....

Child abuse? NAW! Not Britney! That picture I linked below of Brit Brit's cig dangerously close to her kid couldn't have helped!

Posted by: Michael K

133 comments •

Britney Spears

Afternoon Crumbs

Something's different about Chestica - Hollywood Tuna

Mother of the Year: Brit Brit smokes near her tot - ONTD

Jennifer Aniston's Mr.Ed face - Egotastic!

Jake Gyllenhaal is having a baby or something - IDLYITW

Lindsay Lohan's sex scene (NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Scary celebrity clowns - Cityrag

Everything you need to know about the Teen Choice Awards - Just Jared

Kingston Rossdale steals the show - Popsugar

Tera Patrick's porn boobs - Hollywood Rag

Jessica Alba holds grudges - A Socialite's Life

Posted by: Michael K

97 comments •

Afternoon Crumbs

What Is Gis Thinking?!

Gisele Bundchen's name has been floating around for the past couple of days as a possible contestant on the D-list extravaganza "Dancing with the Stars." TMZ reports that she will join the cast and it will be announced on Wednesday. Here's the rest of the rumored bitches:

Aaron Carter - Methface of Methfaces

Wayne Newton - Mr. Plastic Las Vegas

Mark Cuban - Billionaire which means small dicked

Jane Seymour - Lovely

Scary Spice - Yeah...

Tori Spelling - BARF!

Jennie Garth - Take Donna Martin down!

Floyd Mayweather - Hot boxer

Richard Quest - Some nerd

Sabrina Bryan - Some ho

Helio Castroneves - Race car driver

Lou Ferrigno - The Hulk