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I Blame Jordan For This!

This is my dream wedding. This clip below comes from Britian's ITV1 and their show "Britian's Youngest Brides." 18-year-old Catrina Nolan's wedding dress alone cost $12,000. It was 40-feet wide, weighed almost 250 pounds and made with satin, feathers, lace, 20 layers of underskirts and a bodice covered in Swarvoski crystals in a heart and star design. Catrina said she wanted a dress that nobody would forget.

It took nearly 4 people to cram Catrina into the limo. The look on her face during the limo ride to the church is amazing. She can't breathe! She looks like she's going to die!

The wedding party wore hot pink and the little girls wore outfits that shouldn't be seen in public unless you are a hooker working the corner.

If you told me this was a Christopher Guest movie, I would've believe you.

This is almost too awesome to be real.

Jordan is to blame for all of this! Chavtastic!

Posted by: Michael K

316 comments •

Douche.Tool.Moron.Frat.Shut.Up.Now.Barf.

Matt Salinas is the dude that told all to everyone about his night with Britney Spears after he was an extra one of her videos. Basically they ended up in the pool and it's disgusting. Matt talks about her "boobs" and how fantastic of a kisser she is. I would have rather hear sexual details about Joan Rivers.

Matt spilled all to Access Hollywood in a 2-part interview. Sure, he's hot, but I couldn't stop staring at that v-neck t-shirt. American Apparel needs to put a douche warning on all its merchandise. Why does the summer deep v-neck t-shirt attract so many tools?!

Note to Brit: Stop picking up strange morons that are extras in your videos! Unless, they are Jonathan Schaech (see below) and then it's ok.

Click here to see the videos

VIA Best Week Ever

Posted by: Michael K

135 comments •

Britney Spears

Just Because: Heath Ledger

Everytime I see pictures of Heath Ledger something stirs inside me and no it's not that KFC Popcorn chicken I had for lunch. Don't judge me.

Maybe it's because my ex-boyfriend was waaaaay hard up for Heath. I mean this idiot would jack off to Heath movies in front of me. Not joking. He would whip it out and do it to like "Monster's Ball." Monster's fucking ball! Yes, that Halle Berry movie! When I asked him why he was doing that shit, he said because he felt like it and Heath makes him horny. RUDE! At least ask me to go get the milk or something. Damn! MONSTER'S BALL! Who the hell jacks off to that?!

Here's Heath being Heath after having coffee with friends at Urth Cafe in West Hollywood today.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

90 comments •

Heath Ledger

Friday, August 10th 2007

Heath Ledger

Friday, August 10th 2007

Heath Ledger

Friday, August 10th 2007

Heath Ledger

He's Finally Free To Be With Me

That hot bitch of a man Jonathan Schaech's divorce to Kelly Bundy became final today. He filed for divorce in 2005 after a 4-year marriage. It was rumored at that time that Christina was boinking someone from NYC while she starred in "Sweet Charity" on Broadway. You must have tit milk for brains if you cheat on that piece of hotness.

Us Weekly reports:

As part of their divorce agreement, Schaech will receive a 2001 Mercedes convertible, the contents of numerous bank accounts, a cement Buddha, and one-time payment of $105,000 from Applegate. He has agreed to forego his right to collect spousal support.

For her part, Applegate, who will next be seen starring in new ABC series Samantha Who?, will keep the couple's houses, her 2006 Lexus, and the contents of numerous bank accounts.

DAMN! Are they broke?! A 2001 Mercedes Benz?! Did those even exist anymore? I know, I know. I don't even have a car, so I'll show my damn mouth.

2001 Benz or Not...Schaech is mine! I'll gladly take Kelly Bundy's leftovers.

Posted by: Michael K

85 comments •

Splits

Which One Would You Hit?

This is trannylicious Amanda Lepore and club personality/drag-something Andre J at the PMBuzz launch party last night in NYC.

I would have to say I'd get with Mandy. I only say this because I always see this bitch on my block and if she put two and two together, her tranny ass would beat me. Trust. Trannies are some ferocious fighters.

I bet Andre has major wang though. HeShe still has the wang, right?