Archives

 

Yesterday evening was the premiere of the movie "Anna Nicole" which stars Willa Ford as the title character. Willa didn't show, but other major A-listers did. Bobby Trendy who plays himself in the film showed as did Chyna Doll and Mary Carey. Get my sunglasses, I'm blind from all this star power.

 

Chyna actually doesn't look half bad and by half bad I mean she doesn't look like she's sporting a ten-inch dick anymore. Mary is a mess and thinks she's Marilyn Monroe, but she's not even as hot as Marilyn Manson. Bobby...well Bobby is Bobby.

 

I'm still trying to figure out which one of these three has the vag. 

 

 

 

 

No, this isn't a story about Lindsay Lohan doing cokie in the cooze. It's about this cat on coke. Poor pussy.

 

An Australian moron took his 8-month old cat to the vet after the cat's pupils were dilated and its heart was racing. The man confessed to the vet that the cat was locked in a cupboard overnight. He said the cat also had trouble walking, but denied that the cat had been exposed to anything toxic.

 

The cat would not allow the vets to perform any kinds of tests on it. It was basically freaking out. The vets kept questioning the man on what really went on with the cat. The vet decided that he wasn't getting any answers from the man, so he called up the man's wife. She admitted that the cat licked up a whole plate of cocaine that was served at a dinner party 2 days earlier.

 

Since there is no law requiring that vets report such incidents to the police the man was allowed to take the coked up pussy home.  

 

This is an epidemic! First, Pete Doherty's kittens test positive for cocaine and now this?! The pussies of the world are in trouble and we need to help them! 

 

That pussy is no joke. It lapped up an entire plate of the white stuff and didn't die.

 

Source

 

 

I know it's a Holiday weekend and all, but damn this news day has been BLEAK. I don't think most of you care, since some of you are probably already drunk. I envy you. Anyway, this is why I bring you a quote from David Schwimmer on British food.

 

He told a British journalist, "You guys deep-fry everything. Even healthy British food like Shepherd's Pie makes you put on 20 pounds after every meal."

 

Ironically, Ross is out promoting his new movie "Run, Fat Boy Run" which he shot in London.

 

The thing is British food is amazing, because lots of things are fried and you know how I feel about that. There's a British joint by my house that deep fries Mars bars and I can eat that crap for breakfast.

 

Ross also comes from the damn U.S. so he shouldn't talk about unhealthy food. I think we might have invented it. Where else can you get Cinnamon Roll French Toast?! That shit is delicious. Fried upon fried.

 

Source VIA Celebitchy

 

 

 

Brainwashed party of 1! Kelly Preston said she knew as a 16-year-old she was going to marry John Travolta.

 

She said, "I did have sort of a flash. I came out of a film, saw the poster for Grease and I knew I'd be with him. I just knew. I was about 16 years old. Ireally knew it and it turned into, 'I'm going to marry that man,' and so he likes to tease me that I walked out and said, 'I'm going to marry that man,' and then did, ultimately." 

 

I didn't know Scientology had writers on staff? Katie Holmes needs to take a good, hard look at Kelly Preston, because that's her life....actually...that's her life now! 

 

Source