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Dear Kelly Osbourne,

 

You really shouldn't be drinking that 50,000 calorie drink. Go home and have yourself a deeeericious lemon, TrimSpa and ice water shake!

 

Oh and give Britney her wig back. It's rude to borrow things without asking.

 

xoxxoxoMichael K

 

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Apple is cute. Fishsticks is not. That is all.

 

Actually, Apple is a little snotty looking. Ok, I'll stop. Here's these two hos out on a shopping trip in L.A. on Monday.

 

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I'm not going to pussyfoot around with this one. Keith Richards said he once snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine. Yeah, the joke tells itself.

 

Is he still alive? The jury's still out on that one. That being said, he's my hero. 

Source

Thanks Toni 

 

 

Some dumb ho called into Ryan Gaycrest's radio show this morning to apologize to Heather Mills for everything bad thing they have said about her one-legged, gold digging ass. The caller also said that anyone that's every said anything bad about her should apologize as well.

 

Heather turned on the tears and said, "I could have gone down that path of lowering myself to everyone else's level ... and proven my innocence. All I did was fall in love with somebody -- madly -- and give up my life for seven years, you know.... and then to be vilified for it? I'm actually quite shocked."

"If I was a gold digger, I would be a very wealthy woman now ... and I'm not."

 

Please, why should I apologize to her ass? Heather has said she doesn't want to be treated differently just because she's disabled. A two-legged bitch is the same as a one-legged bitch!

 

She's going to be wealthy very soon. She should still win DWTS though. Even though she's a Grade A C*NT she can still dance.

 

Visit TMZ to listen to this ho's act!

 

 

Fergie loves the anal? - IDLYITW

 

Lucy Pinder is topless at last - Hollywood Tuna

 

Ryan O'Neil is a fashion plate - Mollygood

 

The return of Celebrity Fit Club, but none of them are that fat? - Popbytes

 

What's Tila Tequila's talent? - The Bastardly

 

Britney's producer is talking a lot of bullshit - Hollywood Rag

 

Botched lipo is so in - Cityrag

 

Speaking of botched lip, here's more disgusting Tara! - Egotastic!

 

Who's a nice Jewish boy? - ASL

 

Jake may be dating Reese - Popsugar

 

Norm Duke's trick bowl - College Humor

 

Marky Mark's Brazilian job - Just Jared