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Evan Ross is the son of Diana Ross and he has the tingle in his boyhole, right? I mean...I'm guessing? He totally has busted gay face, but I'd still let him slap the hole. While we're on that subject. Why do dudes dick slap the cat in pornos? Does that even feel good? Oh and here's him in a fugly suit at the NAACP Award this evening.

"Rock of Love" starring Bret Michaels doesn't air until July and I'm pretty sure it's done casting, but that hasn't stopped groupies from the past of telling their sordid tales. Vh1 got this little casting inquiry about the show, but it's more of a poem. A poem of love, devotion and jizz stains:

Hello !! I'm ashley, 29 female from charlotte, nc.... i have to say, this show is CRAZY !!! I cannot believe bret is single and looking for love, after all the gourgous celeb woman he had, like pam anderson, etc...I guess it is good, for my every day, reality customer service life, that i can say....i gave bret a nice " ride" back in the re-union tour in 1999. it was my dream come true to meet bret michaels, as i have been a poison fan from the beginning in the 80s !!! that was the most beautiful thing that i can keep in my heart 4ever !!!! i just want bret to know, keep rocking, come back to nc, and if i get a backstage pass, though i have a great man in my life, whom i love, i had my dream come true with bret, i just want to keep seeing him rocking out, cause God mage him a star, and a beautiful man....period !! and i know i made him feel good at that special moment, cause i wore some of him on my dress....if you know what i mean. hope he finds a chick who loves him like i do !!!!! take care.... ash .... nc loves bret !!!!

The most beautiful thing that she can keep in her heart 4ever?! No, that thing ended up on her dress, sweetie. PS - Bret is looking FUG! Damn, bloated as hell.

ABC has bought the rights for a full TV show featuring those annoying Cavemen from the Geico commercials. Yeah, I think that's gross. The half-hour sitcom will feature 3 disgruntled cavemen as they go through life in modern day Atlanta. This idea is almost as bad as Dinosaurs. ALMOST. Source Thanks Kristi

Serena girl! Go get those eyebrows fixed! Anastasia anyone? DAMN! Here's Serena and the Grinch at NEA’s “Reading on the Red Carpet” in NYC today. It's kind of terrifying that the Grinch is taking a look at Serena's nasty shit.

"Cops" is still one of the greatest shows on TV and this is why. Midget chasing in Las Vegas is my idea of a good time. That midget is so hot I can't stand it. Especially when his ass is trying to climb a light pole! Hey, that's dedication. Thanks Coffey

The Associated Press planned a weeklong Paris Hilton ban. They said that it wasn't anything she did, even though she's a racist slag, but more to see if they could do it. They couldn't. Paris getting caught with a suspended license was the story that broke it. They report:

So what have we learned from the ban? "It's hard to tell what this really changes, since we didn't have to make any hard decisions," says Jesse Washington, AP's entertainment editor. "So we'll continue to use our news judgment on each item, individually." Which means that for the immediate future, if not always, we'll still have Paris.

You know I tried an unofficial ban on her ass, but it's hard! It takes every bit of you not to want to call her ass out! It's so easy to want to get on your computer and bash her ass! I think I'm addicted to it. I need Promises, my own floor, right now. PS - When I Googled "Paris" I got this pic. It's much more entertaining than her skank ass. Thanks Elena

Chloe Sevigny is in "Zodiac." I'm not sure how she got that job since she can't even make an actual blowjob seem real. She attended the premiere last night Los Angeles wearing something that looked like a second-hand Paris Hilton frock. Pink faux leather/satin is not hot! She's still gorge though. Hahah

Jesse Metcalfe is about a B cup, right? - Mollygood Happy Birthday dolphin Nellie!!! - SAYOR Tara Reid recycles herself - Cityrag Jake and Mark make nice for work - Popsugar Pamela Anderson returns to the beach - Hollywodo Rag ScarJo for Reebok - Just Jared Avril Lavigne in Arena Magazine - Hollywood Tuna More of Britney Spears in a borrowed bikini at the pool - IDLYITW JLove's breasts are perfect for selling bras - Egotastic! Ryan Phillipe having lunch and trust me..it's exciting - ASL

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Kelis was arrested early this morning in Miami after screaming racial slurs at undercover cops posing as hookers. What a dumb dumb! She started going off at the mouth and started to run toward the two cops. Friends had to apparently hold her back. It's not known what racial slurs she used or why? A source said, "Her actions caused people walking by to stop and form a crowd. The sidewalk was blocked by the disturbance, causing people to walk in the street and causing traffic to stop." She was charged with two misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and for resisting arrest. Were they working her track and what the hell did she say to them?! Source