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"I've never touched a drug in my life. Until recently, I didn't even know what crystal meth was. And I haven't known the name of a diet drug since Dexatrim in the 80s. The only person I've told to lose weight is my mom."

Editor's Note - Is that Farrah Fawcett making a mess face in the back?

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Thanks Candita

Emmy-nominee (she loves it) Tyra Banks had Bobby Trendy on her show the other day to discuss what it's like having a vagina, but no breasts. They also discussed Dannielynn Hope and Bobby said he hopes J. Howard Marshall is the true father.

He said, "At this point, I don't know who the father of the baby is. It could be her late husband's baby if she (Anna Nicole) froze his stuff (sperm) and redid it again. I hope so because then that baby will have financial security and then can be placed by adoption by an unknown family that could really take care of her."

By the way, BT is the reason why someone invented the phrase "busted gay face."

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Okay, Sienna Miller sort of looks cute while walking her mutts in London today. The one on the right sort of looks like Jude Law.

There's certain hot people that don't want to be hot and so they fight it. Keanu Reeves is one of those people. I mean I don't know why since that's the only thing going for him. This ho can't act and his band sucks, so basically being pretty is all he has.

That being said, I'd still let him dirty up his beard in my dark hole. It is dark, cause I haven't bleached it yet.

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The change is starting!!!! Michael Jackson finally is living the life he was meant to live. The crazed one is in London and has checked into Jumeirah Carlton Tower as Ms. Jackson. Actually, it was probably LaToya Jackson that checked in. I mean they look like twinsies.

Jacko has checked himself into the £3,000 a night Presidential suite and is giving grief to the hotel staff. He's also booked his entire floor and brought an entire security team to make sure nobody even thinks about stepping onto his own floor.

Homegirl's in town with her two kids shrouded in napkins again to sell his Beatles back catalog to Paul McCartney. Hahaha...girlfriend is dead broke!

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Thanks Clint

What the hell is My Little Pony Live?! That's a little freaky actually and sounds like it would only be entertaining after a few acid tabs. People in giant pony costumes is kind of hot actually. We should all go and get really drunk and offensive and get kicked out.

Anyway, the show premiered in Los Angeles and brought out the big stars including Camilla and Rebecca Rosso. I guess they are Nickelodeon stars and they are creepy. Blonde twins in pink is a frightful sight.

Dallas Austin claims Joss Stone dick hops for tracks - IDLYITW

Fuggie Fug on the streets of London - Hollywood Rag

Janice Dickinson is the walking dead - ASL

HoHan shows herself off - Popsugar

Miss USA still has cokeslut hair - Hollywood Tuna

Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen might be doing it - Egotastic!

Parasite & Nicole will encourage young girls to barf and pop pills for the next Simple Life - Just Jared

Birkhead's the one that pulled the plug on Opri aka he couldn't afford her anymore - CW

Ryan Gaycrest even jogs gay - Mollygood

St. Patrick's Day is just another holiday for drunk girls to show off their tits - Cityrag

Time Magazine makes Ronnie Reagan cry with Photoshop - Boing Boing

In case you haven't overdosed on Paxil Jolie yet, here's his passport photo. Take a good look, because this is him before his Brangelina makeover. Soon he'll be wearing lots of black, nail polish and a bleached mohawk. Isn't it sort of ironic he was named after an antidepressent?

Pax is in for a ride and hopefully he's getting media training. Angie is no stranger to press obsession over her, but she thinks the way she's been treated in Vietnam is ridic. Apparently, paps are doing everything and anything to get the first photos of Angie with Pax. They are all currently holed up in a Vietnam hotel until they are given the OK to leave.

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Gossip is so bleak right now that I'm forced to post fugly pictures of Eva LongWHORIA delivering gifts to Marcia Cross' twins. Eva should've waited until tomorrow and dressed all in green. She could be their Latin leprechaun!

This goes to show you that ANYONE can look hot with make-up and airbrushing.

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Jennifer Mee started her hiccup spell on January 23rd. She hiccuped 50 times a minute and finally stopped 5 weeks later. Well, she's at it again. Her mother said that after a nose bleed yesterday, her hiccups started back up again.

It was also the second day Jennifer went back to school after being gone for having the hiccups. Hmmm....is someone trying to get out of classes?

Her mother is at her wit's end after trying everything. Um, has she tried punching her in the throat or shoving a bottle of chili powder down her mouth?

Jennifer will most likely do the talk show circuit again since she knows this is the most interesting thing about her. However, I do give her credit for one of the most creative ways of getting out of school.

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Thanks Yulia