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Dear New York,

You are a man and need to let the public know. I know trannies need love to.

xoxoxoMichael K

PS - I don't know if you haven't noticed, but you have CoCo's ass on your chest.

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Nancy Kerrigan's best girlfriend ever, Tonya Harding, is making news in Washington. Clark County coppers responded to two calls from Tonya early Sunday morning. They described her as "tweaking out."

According to Tonya, four men and women tried to steal her car. The cops found her story completely bullshit. A few hours later, Tonya's friend called and told the cops that she was "seeing animals" WTF?! Stop sniffing drano, you trailer trash bitch!

The cops showed up and took Tonya back to her trailer. Oh damn, she really lives in a trailer?

She's still the most elegant princess on ice in my opinion and by ice I mean fried up Nyquil.

Source

Six former High School wrestlers from Parker, South Dakota claim that a 17-year old boy raped their asses with his finger during wrestling practice. Jerome Hunt faces 21 counts of rape and attempted rape. Each count could get the kid 25-years in the slammer. The six accusers are all younger and smaller than Jerome.

The trial has been going on for the past two weeks. Each boy that has testified has said that Jerome threatened them and also did or tried to stick his finger up their poop shoot.

One alleged victim testified today that Hunt has touched him inappropriately more than 20 times.

That includes several times before wrestling practice when the witness says one guy would hold him down and hunt would stick his finger in his rear end.

The witness says he was wearing sweatpants, but hunt's finger did go in his rectum.

The wrestler testified one time hunt kept saying, "do you like that," while he fought to get away.

The alleged victim says he has seen Hunt do this to two other people.

He testified he didn't report it to the coaches because Hunt threatened him, saying, "If you tell anybody I'll do it worse."

Jerome's lawyer said that the kids are either lying or talking about a legitimate wrestling move. One expert said while watching videotape of Jerome wrestling that he used an illegal form of the butt drag. I like the sound of that.

Damn! He's kind of hot. Why wasn't he around during my high school days? There wouldn't be none of this trial business if it was me. You know I'd be bouncing on that during practice and shit. Saying "give me the knuckle, give me the knuckle!"

Just put him in jail. I mean all he wants is a little male love and he'll certainly get that in the clink!

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Thanks Matthew

Michael Lohan found Jesus while he was in the big house. He said he went to Bible college and is now all holy and shit. Yeah, I'm sure he had a lot of soul in his hole. I bet you he was the pass-around-patty of the clink.

Lindsay's daddy was released last night and said he's taking it slow with his daughter and White Oprah. He said, "I think she knows she needs us both. I'm going to wait, and when she sees I'm walking the walk, I'm hopeful she'll open the door."

Now that he's free and all into Jesus he wants to help the youth with their problems.

"I can't tell you what it feels like to be free. It's amazing. . . . I want to help people. I don't want them to fall into the same traps I did."

Liar in the mouth! I bet you anything he was smoking crack during that interview.

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Thanks Jeff

Pete Wentz at a Nylon party on 3/13: FUG and FAT! That's nice considering what I wanted to say.

Sanjaya and his Whitney-Houston-do really need to stop. I mean I don't even feel bad for him. Bitch can't sing! I was a little disappointed with this ho, because since it was Diana Ross night I thought he was going to reprsent by singing "I'm Coming Out." I guess he didn't have to since his hair basically came out for him.

I'm sorry, but Sanjaya isn't going home tonight. People feel sorry for him and the judges being mean to his ass only gives him more votes. He's staying.

My predictions for the bottom 3 are: Haley, Stephanie and Brandon.

All three of them effed up their words and are completely forgettable. I think Stephanie and Haley are the least popular girls. Brandon sang first and sang bad which gives him a disadvantage. I'm saying that Stephanie will go home. DialIdol predicts the same thing, so we'll see.

Can we just skip to May already and let Melinda and Lakisha battle it out?

Ashley Olsen exposes her training bra - Hollywood Tuna

Tossing acid - College Humor

300 is offensive - IDLYITW

Drew Barrymore's new indie love - Popsugar

The former Mr. Katie Holmes goes to Washington - Mollygood

Hollywood loves their Lakers - Cityrag

Sandra Bullock is not pregnant - Just Jared

Janice Dickinson checks out the implants - Hollywood Rag

Kimbo Stewart is still ugly - Drunken Stepfather

Lindsay Lohan runs over some dude - Egotastic!

Jennifer Aniston is bringing her fugness to NYC full-time - ASL

Ryan Gaycrest's straightest moments - Gawker

Vh1's ten-millionth "Flavor of Love" spin-off is hitting on April 15th at 10pm. The show features some of the most popular FOL girls training to be real ladies. Comedian and overall hotness Mo'Nique will train them in proper etiquette, grace and all that other lady-like crap The last girl standing gets $50,000. WHAT?! Cheap ass Vh1!

The Charm School contestants, as pictured above are: (Top row, L-R) Like Dat (Flavor of Love 2), Rain (Flavor of Love 1), Buckeey (FoL 2), Saaphyri (FoL 2), Goldie (FoL 1), Buckwild (FoL 2), Hottie (FoL 1); (Bottom row, L-R) Toastee (FoL 2), Bootz (FoL 2), Krazy (FoL 2), Smiley (FoL 1), Serious (FoL 1) and Pumkin (FoL 1).

Ok, Hottie, Lip Chap and Toastee better bring it! Those are the real ladies there.

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UPDATE - Congrats to StickaCockinWoodyAllensMouth for being the first person to get it right! Click here to see the ho behind the smile!

Rosie O'Donnell responded to Donald Trump's tirade against her on "The View" this morning. Donald said Rosie suffered from depression, because she was so ugly. Rosie then united with the other girls by doing some weird comb-over routine. She then promised to not talk about him again.

Sure...she loves it as much as he does.

VIA BWE