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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LORD DON'T TAKE ME NOW PLEASE!!! Ok, I've had enough. Mickey Rourke at Maxim's Super Bowl party in Miami yesterday did it for me. Sometimes, it's just not worth it. I really have to go now and pray to the Lord. Everything about this picture is darksided and I am dry heaving. Honestly, I'd rather stick a curling iron up my ass, turn it on and open it than hit that.
Spot the Tranny

Seriously.....they are both good tuckers. Here's Fergie Ferg and Brooke Hogan at Maxim's Salute to the Trannies party for Super Bowl in Miami yesterday.
Back to Banging Samberg

Ever since Kiki Dunst broke-up with Jake Gyllenhaal she's been doing the rounds. She's apparently been sniffing out every brown-moppy-headed dude she could find. She was recently linked with Adam Brody. Adam recently split up with his "The O.C." co-star Rachel Bilson. She was also seen "canoodling" with Drew Barrymore's ex and Strokes drummer, Fabrizio Moretti. Not to stop herself there, she was also seen with Entourage star Adrian Grenier.
Her latest moppy head is Saturday Night Live cast member, Andy Samberg. The two were also linked last March. They were recently spotted at 205 in NYC for the DKNY jeans party for "East of Havana." Sources say they were together most of the night, dancing and laughing. They also kept to themselves in the VIP area.
She's a narcissist. She likes to be the only blonde in the house. Too bad it's dishwater blonde, literally, cause I think she washes that trash in dishwater by the looks of it. What moppy-brown-head is she going to pop next? Alanis Morissette is single!
CoCo Backs It Up

Eff Super Bowl! Baby Phat was the place to be last night. Damn, the freaks were out! Not only did Lil' Kim and Britney Spears bring on the cheese, but CoCo brought on the ass! Didn't anyone tell her you shouldn't wear camel toe after Labor Day?
Roadkill

And I'm not talking about the coat! Lil' Kim dragged her plastic face last night to root for her main ladydude girl, Kimora Lee Simmons at the Baby Phat show in NYC. Methinks Kim has a had a little baby fat injected into every part of her face. That poor animal died to be laid on that?! Shameful.
White Trash and the Beast

Well played Britney Spears! Standing next to Kimora Lee Simmons can make any woman look more feminine and demure. Actually, make ANYONE male or female look more feminine and demure. Britney jetted from Las Vegas to the NYC fashion show for Baby Phat last night. She played it safe in black. She's still white trash, but at least she's not trying too hard.
Kimora needs to go back to Bangkok for more procedures to make her jawline look more feminine. She's still not passable.
Birthday Sluts

Morgan Fairchild (57)
Jessica Grove (25)
Isla Fisher (31)
Daddy Yankee (31)
Maura Tierney (42)
Linda Eder (46)
Thomas Calabaro (48)
Nathan Lane (51)
Brenda Dickson (58)
Blythe Danner (64)
Joey Bishop (89)
Happy Birthday to Sonya!
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