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United States authorities have insisted Kate Moss take a drug test before entering the country, because of that whole coke-scandal thing. She went to an American embassy in England to get a work visa and that's when they broke the news to her. A source said, "The person put in charge of her case had to tell her point blank that the application couldn't be processed without a drugs test. It's common practice for American officials to deny people with criminal records or a history of drugs entry to the States, but Kate has never been charged so she looked a little stunned. The Embassy employee explained that her case is different because of her notoriety and her cocaine problem was so high profile." Kate has been offered a few lucrative jobs in the US and was hoping to take them on. She now has to wait a while for drug testing. Um...have someone else pee in a cup like everybody else. She's not going to past that test. Even if she is clean, I'm sure she's still inhaling Pete Doherty cum and you know that shit is like 100% pure heroin. Source

Cameron Diaz was seen "canoodling" with Djimon Hounsou at Hyde in L.A. on Thursday. Cameron recently broke up with Justin Timberlake and dodged rumors she was dating Kelly Slater. Witnesses say that Cameron and Djimon were all over each other. People reports:

"It looked like the perfect post-Valentine's Day date," a patron tells PEOPLE of the pair, who were with several other friends. "They were totally vibing each other, lip-on-lip action," says the source. "Cameron looked so happy... Djimon followed her every move." Diaz, 34, and Hounsou, 42, hit the dancefloor for Michael Jackson's "Burn This Disco Out" and Gnarls Barkley's version of "Gone Daddy Gone," says the onlooker, adding, "They were dancing really close, bodies pressed together." A rep for Diaz says the pair are just friends. "Cameron was out to dinner with friends, they ran into Djimon and he joined them for a drink at Hyde," says the rep. "They are friends, nothing more." A rep for Hounsou did not return calls for comment.

Gross. He's hot, she's not. He can do a lot better than that pizza face unless he was getting a craving for pepperoni.

UBritney claims this is a statement from Larry Rudolph, Britney's manager: "Britney has been through a tragic thing that hopefully will never happen again, shaving her hair was a sort of therapeutic thing for her. Britney knows that she needs help and is already going through counselling, she knows what needs to be done and is slowly re-building herself step by step." Tragic event? Why couldn't she suffer through this "tragic event" in the privacy of her own home or in REHAB where she should be. I want to feel for her, but she obviously wants people to know or she wouldn't make such a public thing of it. I'm sure her cooze is hairier than her head now. Above is a BRILLIANT illustration from 14.

Kerry Katona is one of the hottest and trashiest of British dlisters. I mean, she literally will suck off a homeless dude for a fish head. Anyway, I guess she got hitched on Valentine's Day! Damn. She finally married her cab driver boyfriend, Mark Croft. Kerry's $600 glittering wedding was a far cry from one of her previous wedding which was a star studded event. I mean I think Kerry had her engagement party at the Best Western. She's really hot. Kerry is due with their kid any minute and spent her wedding night alone. Why? Well, because Mark couldn't stop farting. Classy. Kerry's agent said, “Mark has been suffering from awful wind lately. He stayed in another room.” I need to follow her more closely. She is the most elegant woman in the world next to Britney Spears of course. Below is also a classic vintage photo of Kerry being photographed outside of "Bargain Booze" at 11 in the morning. Source

Selma Blair's teenage-twink-boy look is kind of working for me now. Yeah, she looks like she escaped Aushwitz, but it's kind of hot. She showed the look at Marc Jacbos store opening in London last night.

Marc Jacobs (on the right) looked like a Chelsea fag at a London fashion week party last night. He used to look a little more interesting (on the left). Yeah, I guess he's a little hotter now....but what happened? I'd still let him stick the tip and get a few strokes in, though.

Michael Richards aka KKKramer won't be attending a mock trial that is being put together tonight, because the media has been invited. The "mock trial" was set up by the attorney of the four black men that Michael attacked by using the "n-word" on them. Their attorney, Gloria Allred, put together the little shindig in hopes of finding a way for Michael to repay them. Gloria is such a damn publicity whore it ain't funny. The mock trial was to feature Michael, the four black men and a jury of judges and lawyers. They would hear both sides and decide Michael's punishment. WTF? Gloria also invited the media to attend. Michael's lawyer said, "We wanted to apologize face to face to the individuals in the club that night. Now this has been turned into a modern-day kangaroo court." Kangaroos?! I like those. Can I attend? Michael won't be attending and Gloria said, "Mr. Richards had no hesitation in crying his crocodile tears and giving his spin on how sorry he was in a public venue." Crocodiles? I like those. Can I attend? Anyway, the event will go as planned tonight at the Loyola Law School. Lame. Source, Image Source

Jani Lane

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After shaving her head and getting several tattoos, Britney Spears apparently went to Cedards-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. according to ONTD. She was seen going in and looked disturbed. She was wearing a dark wig and only stayed for a while. She wasn't admitted, she left and went back home. Earlier in the evening, Britney lost it at a beauty salon in Tarzana. She asked the hairdresser to shave her head and when the woman refused, she grabbed the razor and did it herself. How G.I. Jane of her! She then went to a tattoo parlor in Sherman Oaks where she was described as being crazy and losing it. A source said, "She wasn't making sense at all and you could tell she's not in a good place at all, and that she is totally freaking out." Britney then got a black-white-and-pink cross tattooed on her lower hip and red-and-pink lips on her wrist. The price: $80. "She was a nightmare to deal with. She was screaming and flipping out from the pain and wiggling her body all around." She apparently had NyQuil stains all over her. After she left, she apparently visited the hospital and then went home. Jesus. Somebody needs some straight-up, hardcore therapy! Get her on Dr. Phil! Britney's been to Hyde, She's been to Area, She's been to Teddy's, but she's never been to me. Source