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Jessica...Jessica...Jessica Lange. Did she get MORE work done? How is it that she looks pulled from here to Hong Kong, yet she still has wrinkles on the forehead? So you're going to get pulled, but not put a little botox in there? She used to be soooooo hot and it's shame, because that up there looks nothing like her. She's currently in London starring in "The Glass Menagerie" and that mugshot was taken from the opening party last night. I'm sure she plays the entire thing "shocked" and "surprised."

Ignore my post below about critics expecting Lily Allen to win everything at the Brit Awards. She didn't even win her table centerpiece. They don't sit at tables, do they? Anyway, Amy Winehouse, Artic Monkeys and Fratellis won in her categories. Oh well. I guess shit talking doesn't pay off. The list of winners: * British Male Solo Artist James Morrison * British Female Solo Artist Amy Winehouse * British Group Arctic Monkeys * MasterCard British Album Arctic Monkeys “Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not” * British Single Take That “Patience” * British Breakthrough Act Fratellis * British Live Act Muse * International Male Solo Artist Justin Timberlake * International Female Solo Artist Nelly Furtado * International Group The Killers * International Album Killers “Sam’s Town” * International Breakthrough Act Orson * Outstanding Contribution to Music Oasis Source

A Vagina-Day wouldn't be complete with out a little CoCo. Unfortunately, that fug pattern is covering up her smilin' snatch. Here's CoCo and her main pimp at a Bombay Saphire event in NYC last night.

MySpace star, Tila Tequila, has a new song out and I smell a hit! Well, do hits smell like used up tuna? Anyway, this little diddy was written for Jared Leto...because he wanted her to apologize to him. It's also the first video made for cellphones. She's giving it to you hardcore and I'm hoping she's gonna go to rap wars with KFed soon. I think her vagina is putting those rhymes together, but my butthole couldn't do any better.

VIA ONTD

UPDATE - DAMN THAT WAS FAST! Someone already won the tickets. Sorry hos!

Spring Awakening the musical is currently playing a successful and critically acclaimed run on Broadway. Spring Awakening was written by Duncan Sheik and Steven Sater and depicts how a dozen young people make their way through the thrilling, complicated, confusing and mysterious time of their sexual awakening. I currently have a pair of tickets for a weekday performance of the show.

You have to be in the NYC area, because I'm not paying for your ass to fly here and stay in a hotel and all. I've seen the show and it's fantastic. Trust me, it's going to be a multiple Tony award winner. To enter the contest simply e-mail with the correct answer to this question. The first person to send me the correct answer will win the tickets!

Question: While Spring Awakening enjoys it's public appearance now on Broadway, this is not true for the original 1891 Frank Wedekind play it originated from. In fact, the 1917 performance was almost shut down due to the New York City Commissioner of Licenses claiming the play was too pornographic, however the play was allowed to go on. How many performances did the original production run?

Visit Spring Awakening's official website to find out more information about the show.

There's no way Kenny Chesney is "saluting" for Marisa Miller in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. I'm guessing that either a) that's his other hand, b) they photoshopped Marisa in and a hot dude is really in her place or c) the church saved Kenny from the gay. Click here to see the rest of the pics!

Sir Ian pisses on Jake Gyllenhaal - Just Jared Alessandro Ambrosio for Vday - Hollywood Tuna How to be a musician - College Humor Star Wars in 3 minutes with toys - Popoholic Mimi covers up for once in her life - ASL Keira Knightley will go nude - Egotastic! Vince and Jen briefly reunite - Popsugar Mimi buys out economy class - Hollywood Rag Video of Heather and Bridget sucking face - IDLYITW Worst male strippers ever - Cityrag Lohan is back to work - Mollygood

A Florida judge ordered this morning that Anna Nicole Smith's body not yet be released citing a California court's ruling on DNA testing her body. Shortly after the Florida ruling, a Los Angeles judge rescinded the DNA order releasing Anna's body for burial. Confusing much? Anna's DNA was already taken during her autopsy. The judge said, "California has no need for the body of Anna Nicole." It is unclear who will get custody of her body and where and when she will be buried. During the past few days there has been a battle for her body between her mommy and her crazy (HKS). I'm guessing HKS' crazy ass will get her and he'll do sexy time to her before she's buried.

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Lily Allen is expected to take at least one Brit award tonight in London. She's nominated for Best Album, Best Female Artist and Best Breakthrough Artist. Many critics are expecting Lily to take all three categories. Lily is up against Corrine Bailey Rae and the outspoken Brit had a lot to say about her. Lily said, "Corinne Bailey Rae? I think she's a bit boring, sorry. She's a lovely girl but I don't think her music stands out and I'd be a bit annoyed if she won Best Female Artist. I'd be really happy if Amy Winehouse wins, though. She's brilliant." Catfight! I agree. I get Corrine mixed up with...well mixed up with lukewarm water. Here's hoping Lily sweeps the Brits!

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The fattest fatties of the fats, Hercules, has found fame ever since his ass got stuck in a doggy door trying to get some grub. Martha Stewart will feature Hercules in an upcoming issue of "Martha Stewart Living." The article will be about fat animals trying to lose weight. I guess Hercules lost some weight. In addition to the magazine, Hercules has also been approached to be the face of a low-calorie cat food. Shake that juicy ass Hercules! Do your thing. I'm sure Hercules wants nothing to do with all this attention. Homeboy just wants to sit around, eat and watch Jerry Springer. Hercules is destined for bigger things though. I hear Trimspa is looking for a new spokesperson?