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Wednesday, December 19th 2007

No! No! No! No! Fanny cannot be knocked up. PageSix reports that's there's a rumor going around that Fantasia is pregnant with the baby of an Atlanta rapper named Young Dro. This may be the reason why Fanny was out of "The Color Purple" on Broadway so much. Homegirl missed like 50 performances or something. I doubt it was because she was pregnant, she's just lazy.

Baby's fucking everywhere. If Dakota Fanning gets knocked up I just don't know what I'm going to do. Shit, I better run out and get e.p.t just in case! You should too.

Posted by: Michael K

94 comments •

Fantasia • Knocked Up

Morning Wood

Renee Zellweger just rolls out of bed nowadays - I'm Not Obsessed

Harry Connick Jr. says he's probably gay - Towleroad

Ann Coulter's career is dying a slow death - Mollygood

Avril Lavigne ditches her fans for the Spice Girls - Celebitchy

Pammy and Rick Salomon look thrilled to be together again - SOW

John Stamos has a new chick - ICYDK

Oprah endorses farting - Best Week Ever

Posted by: Michael K

27 comments •

Morning Wood

Nice Try Asshole

Asshole Simpson has a new video for her single "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)." Seriously, that's the title. The video is probably something Gwen Stefani would make if she had no money, no talent, a lot of free time, a couple of camcorders and a friend that knows iMovie really well. Basically, it sucks and now I can't get that wretched song outta my...outta my....FUCK!

Posted by: Michael K

110 comments •

Ashlee Simpson • Truly Awful Music

Lindsay's New "Friend"

Lindsay Lohan has been linked to almost every penis in Hollywood. Perhaps, Lindsay is changing things up. PageSix reports that Lindsay and a girl named, Courtenay Semel, are living together as roommates. Courtenay's dad is the CEO of Yahoo.

The two showed up to the Christmas party of Jeanette Longoria (no relation to Eva) who is described as a "power lesbian." Power lesbo go!

A source said, "Lindsay came with Courtenay to the party around midnight and they stayed for an hour. The girls held hands and were with each other the whole time. Every time I see Lindsay, there's Courtenay. They are always together."

Lindsay's rep said the two are friends, but only friends.

First of all, the chick's name is Courtenay. Not Courtney, Courtenay. Someone needs to tell her parents that adding the extra vowel doesn't make you sound fancier. Let me try it. Micehael. Ok, it does make me sound fancier.

Also, I doubt Lindsay Lohan is into the cat. I can basically smell dick on her breath from here. She loves dick! It would be smart for her to go lesbian though. I mean all these twats are getting knocked up. I'd be scared too. Going lesbian is the best contraceptive. I'm going to try it.