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Self-proclaimed size 2, Jenny Love Hewitt, might be knocked up according to reports. JLove recently became engaged to that Ross dude while on vacay in Hawaii. She apparently found out a week before Thanksgiving.

 

A source said, "Jennifer was shocked, but at the same time she was ecstatic with the news. It wasn't planned, but now that it's happened Jennifer and Ross are both very happy." 

 

I don't know. If JLove was knocked up I'm sure she would've said, "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!" when those photos of her in a bikini came out. If she is knocked up, remind me to not drink the water in Hollywood. Everyone is getting pregnant.

 

Above is JLove hiding her stomach in Los Angeles last week.

 

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It's obviously not a dick, because bitch is one grouchy mofo. This time Rupert has attacked Al Pacino and Robert De Niro calling them "tragic parodies" of their former selves.

 

He said, "De Niro, Robert Redford, Woody Allen, Diane Keaton and Pacino - they're all just tragic parodies of themselves. Al Pacino looks like a mad old freak now. I say give it a rest, or go and do some serious stuff."

 

He also didn't have anything nice to say about George Clooney, "Clooney thinks that, provided he does films which are politically committed, he's allowed to do Ocean's 11, 12 and 13 But the Ocean's movies are a cancer to world culture. They're destroying us. He's not the brightest spark on the boulevard. He'll be president one day. Mark my words, if he's straight, he'll be president." 

 

And I thought I was a bitter fag. Put a dick in that pig's mouth. He needs to shut up. He's just jealous, because he doesn't have much of a career. He's also probably mad, because Georgie turned him down.

 

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Dog the Bounty Hunter continued trying to prove the world that he's not a racist redneck by buying up tons of toys for a black advocacy group. He gave away toys and signed a bunch of his books for kids. 

 

The founder of the Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny said, ''We don't condone racial slurs, but upon hearing Dog's apology and after meeting with him and his family, we don't believe he's a racist. We also believe that Duane 'Dog' Chapman sincerely wants to make amends to the black community, and deserves a second chance."

 

Of course they are going to say that! He just gave them a bunch of free toys. Beth really should've put her chi-chis away. Those things frighten children. Shit, they frighten most humans.

 

He's trying, but next time he shouldn't invite the cameras along. It will look more realistic without their ham poses for photographers.  

 

Splash

 

 

 

The other day someone wrote me and said, "I was having lunch at the Ivy and all of a sudden a few paparazzi started taking pictures of some broad and nobody knew who the hell it was. I asked the waiter and he said, 'Oh, that's some chick that calls the paparazzi when she has lunch. Nobody knows who the hell she is and nobody cares.'"

 

I care, but that basically sums up her entire career. Here's Phoebe giving it all she's got on the sidewalks of West Hollywood yesterday. JCPenney Catalog poses.