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John Travolta needs to quit it with the dead cats on his head. Everyone knows that he's as bald as Brit Brit's vagina and just as rancid. Besides the split-wave went out in the 80s. He is so gay that it's burning rainbows into my eyes. He looks like he sings showtunes for old queens at a tired drag bar in the West Village on Sunday afternoons.  

 

Katie Holmes needs to take a good look at Kelly Preston, because that's her in 10 years. A Stepford twit who refuses to see the fact that her husband is gayer than a sorcerer princess cat. Seriously, that princess cat is a sorcerer.  

 

Here's Johnny with Kelly and Kirstie Alley at the Hollywood Awards. Kirstie looks like she's spanxed to death. Can she even breathe?   

 

 

 

 

 

American treasure and all-around badass, Robert Goulet, is laying up in Cedars-Sinai hospital needing a lung. His wife and manager Vera Goulet told Broadway World that Bobby was rushed to the hospital on September 30th and was diagnosed with Interstitial Pulmonary Fibrosis.

 

Doctors say without a lung transplant, he won't survive. Bobby lives in Las Vegas, but was transported to Los Angeles for a transplant. They are waiting for a donated lung.

 

I'd give him my lung, but it's kind of tattered and fucked up. I doubt he wants the after taste of cum in his throat for the rest of his life. Yeah, my lung would do that to him.

 

You also need to visit his website! I think I shed a tear! It's so beautiful with Goulet serenading me in the background. I sent a comment and I hope he gets it. 

 

He should've won an Oscar for "Scrooged" and his wife is now my new fashion icon. Only good thoughts for Goulet!

 

VIA Best Week Ever

 

 

 

TMZ reports that the reason the FBI seized some computers and a digital camera from David Copperfield's warehouse may have something to do with the complicated way he picks up chicks.

 

Sources say during his show at the MGM Grand David will pick ladies from the audience to take part in his show. He'll use code words like "mama" and his assistants will mark on a map backstage where they are sitting. After the show the girls are brought back where they are quizzed. 

 

The women are told that they might be used in a show when David comes to their hometown. Their pictures are taken with a digital camera and they are asked all sorts of questions like "what kind of cologne do they like" and where do they like to vacation and shit.

 

The FBI may be investigating if the woman David allegedly assaulted in the Bahamas is one of the women David brought onstage.  

 

Creepy and complicated. Usually freaks have a strange and methodical way of picking up their chicks. He likes to be in control.

 

I mean wouldn't going up to a woman and saying "I am David Copperfield. I am famous and rich and I want to do sex to you" work faster? 

 

He's all shades twisted.

 

 

 

We've got another one! Ben Affleck is letting the pubes on his face grow darker and thicker. Unfortunately, it's not changing the fact that he's totally lost whatever hot he had in the first place. Even Casey knows he's the "hot" one now. Although Casey looks a little Frankie-Munizish.

 

Here's these two at the Hollywood Awards last night.