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Tara Reid exposed her frankentummy yet again in St. Barths yesterday. Why hasn't the government done something about this? They really should deport her ass and her stomach. I mean, that thing looks like it has a brain of its own and will eat and kill everything in its path. That being said, scrambled eggs for breakfast!

Mariah Carey hosted a Niche Media party last night in Aspen, Colorado. I'm not sure what she's wearing and I'm not sure how to comment on it. It looks like she cut up a puffy jacket and made a shrug out of it. She also stole that Rolling Stones bedazzled top from a 12-year-old. Oh Mariah.......you are the true queen H.A.M.

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty will be married by the end of 2006 according to friends of the couple. They claim that they were told the pair will be married in a civil ceremony any day now. They were also told to clear their schedules for the week of January 18th, so they can fly to Ibiza and celebrate the couple's marriage. Several friends have already booked their arrangements.

A source said, "There's been a bit of a tussle over the guest list, which is small because Kate is concerned that some of Pete's hangers-on are bad news, but he's determined to have his mates there."

Just let them get married already and OD in their wedding clothes. Who cares already. Pete will always be a junkie and Kate will always be dickmatized. It's just the facts folks. Truth hurts.

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Don't laugh! Even bones need a little working out. She probably only walked from her car and to the curb and back again, because she gets tired.

Image Source: Celebrity Babylon

Keanu Reeves gave the paparazzi a special Christmas greeting outside a friend's home in Los Angeles. Hopefully he went inside that house and filled the tub with boiling hot water and then poursed some bleach up in there and soaked for a few hours. Let's hope he then took steel wool and some Ajax and scrubbed his skin for a couple of hours. He needs it. Ho looks beat. That being said, I'd hit it.

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Dallas Cowboys quarterback, Tony Romo, was linked to Jessica Simpson last month. This month he's now said to be "canoodling" with American Idol winner, Carrie Underwood. The two had a few Christmastime dates. Carrie showed up to his big Christmas day game and was said to be all over his ass.

Tony confirmed to a newspaper that he's with Carrie.

Yawnsville. Is the news really going to be like this for the whole week? Can't we make something up, something remotely interesting? I mean Carrie isn't even screwing him probably. She's one of those "holding out for marriage" types.

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James Brown hasn't even been buried and a biopic of his life is already in the works. Spike Lee will direct a feature film based on his life for a 2008 release. A script was already in the works, but put on fastrack ever since his death. Spike Lee will do a rewrite of the current script. Before his death James met with the screenwriters and was an active part in the film.

Producer Brian Grazer said, "Like everybody, I was surprised and saddened that James Brown died. Having known him well, and after spending lots of time with him and researching his life, it's somehow not surprising that he died on Christmas Day. He was the ultimate showman, all the way to the end."

More importantly who is going to play James Brown? Probably someone boring like Jamie Foxx or Usher...but I'm thinking Fantasia. This could be the role of a lifetime for her! I mean she kind of looks like him!

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Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman spent Christmas together in their native Australia. The two were seen leaving the United International Pictures offices today. They seem pretty happy despite the rumors that Keith had an affair with some white piece of trash while he and Nicole were still together. I'm going to chuck that up as rumor unless that ho has some videotaped proof. Nicole looks happy, but should rethink that fake carnation thing on her head. It's not rose parade time, yet.

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Is Mary Kate Olsen trying to scare small children, hell people in general. She's doing a good job of it. She looks like the albino elf sent from the underword to collect the hearts of our mortal children. Honestly, I was in her corner for a quick minute...but...I don't know about this one. Shoes are still hot though.

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1913 - 2006 aka old