Archives

Date
Friday, December 29th 2006

Saddam Hussein to Die Within Hours?

saddam.jpg

Fox News is reporting that Saddam's Hussein's lawyers have confirmed that he has been handed over to Iraq officials by the US. A Judge in Iraq also told the Associated Press that he would be hung by no later than Saturday. Officials wished to carryout his sentence last night, but could not due to logistical reasons.

His death will be videotaped, but it is unknown whether or not it will be shown on Iraq TV. Who wants to see that trash anyway? Ugh, hangings are gross. I'm sure it will make its way onto YouTube within hours of the event for those of you that wish to feast your eyes on that grossness.

Source

Posted by: admin


Friday, December 29th 2006

Kate Beckinsale's Daughter Looks Much Better Without Hooker Face

katebeck2.jpg

Kate Beckinsale took her daughter to Kitson yesterday and thankfully didn't drown her face in Wet N' Wild cosmetics like she did the other day. God, this is lame. I apologize for the lameness of this. I'm off to drown my face in Wet N' Wild cosmetics.

katebeck3.jpg

Posted by: admin


Friday, December 29th 2006

Lindsay Lohan for Public Office?

lohan7.jpg

Tbe New York State Independent Party has encouraged Lindsay Lohan to run for government in 2009. Speaking on behalf of the party, FRANK MORANO said that she could run for NYC Public Advocate. The position is next in line to the Mayor and links the electorate and city government. He said, "As Albany is currently a cesspool of corruption, badly in need of reform, you may also want to consider a bid for the state legislature. "Many celebrities have made the transition from Hollywood to politics, ranging from ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER and JESSE VENTURA to SONNY BONO and RONALD REAGAN. Few if any though, had the enormous potential that you possess."

WTF? Wait, will she be able to legalize things? Like pot? If so, then I say yes! Oh and can she bring transfat back?

Seriously, I think she sucked him off so he could say that.

Source

Posted by: admin


Friday, December 29th 2006

FYI: Dakota Fanning's Rape Scene Went Well

hounddog.jpg

When the shocking news that 12-year-old Dakota Fanning was going to film a rape scene for her movie Hounddog hit, director Deborah Kampmeier received so much hate mail that she had to hire an assistant to take care of it. The film is set to premiere at Sundance next year. Dakota plays a troubled girls in the 1960s South who finds a save haven in the music of Elvis. She stars with Jill Scott, Piper Laurie and Robin Wright Penn.

Deborah Kapmeier said that the pivotal scene went according to plan. She said that Dakota's "mother, her agent, and her teacher/child welfare worker were all present for the filming of the scene, which was carried out exactly as we discussed it."

Hey homegirl wants an Oscar and I guess that's how you play it. You either need to be some sort of victim or some sort of retard. She chose to go with the former.

Source

Posted by: admin


Friday, December 29th 2006

Daisy Gets Around

Ashlee Simpson dogsat Jessica Simpson's Daisy the other day and took the poor thing on a little shopping trip with a mystery dude. Not sure who his ass is, but he's hot. Poor Daisy can't catch a break. She is shuffled from one moron to another.

In other Ashlee Simpson news. The piece of trash recently moved and found out that she had so many designer outfits that she hadn't even worn. So what did she do? She gave them all to her maid! So now her cleaning lady can wash her dishes and soap up her windows wearing Marc Jacbos and stupid t-shirts that say "Team Myself" from Kitson. A friend said that Ashlee is so thrilled that she can help another person out. Oh yeah, real generous. Ashlee is a regular Mother Effin Theresa.

Source

Posted by: admin


Friday, December 29th 2006

Connor and Suri

connorsuri.jpg

Yeah, this is an old picture from TomKat's wedding...but it's going to be another one of those days. It's a picture of Connor carrying little baby Suri. Overall it's a cute picture, but I can see the pain in Suri's eyes. Either that or she's trying to push out a fart. She's probably realizing the card that this cruel World has dealt her.

Source VIA JJB

Posted by: admin


Friday, December 29th 2006

Paris Hilton is Still Infecting Australia

pariskanga2.jpg

Paris Hilton and her suck-up, Kim Kardashian, are still in Australia. Paris is apparently getting paid upwards of $500,00 plus to promote some kind of low-carb beer. She will stay through the New Year and also judge some Bondi Blonde beauty contest. She spent yesterday shopping amidst a flurry of paparazzi flashes.

She also managed to make out with this poor stuffed, Kangaroo. I mean she's like eating his face....he's not a poop-shoot Paris! He's a stuffed animal. Poor thing must have herpes now. I also love how Kim Kardashian just holds it up for her. She's seriously just a maid with fake boobs and an annoying smirk.

pariskanga.jpg

Posted by: admin


Friday, December 29th 2006

Julia Roberts is Knocked Up

juliaroberts.jpg

Page Six is reporting that Julia Roberts is knocked up with child number 3. Julia has two twins with her husband, Danny Moder. Julia had a lot of trouble with her first pregnancy back in 2004. After several tests and lots of heartache she finally gave birth to two countrymice named Phinnaeus Walter and Hazel Patricia.

Julia has a busy working schedule ahead of her and it is unclear whether or not she will take some time off. Julia's spokespeople would not comment.

Julia, please do not name them folktale character names this time. Phinnaeus and Hazel? It still pains me to hear those names. I automatically think of two little mice living in a mushroom cottage.

UPDATE - It's true, her rep confirms it. Homegirl is due this Summer.

Posted by: admin


Friday, December 29th 2006

One Last Celebrity DUI to End the New Year

miketyson.jpg

Mike Tyson was arrested on suspicion of DUI and for having coke in his car. Mike was stopped at around 1:45 this morning in Scottsdale, Arizona. He was leaving a club when his car almost hit a police car. Yeah, why don't you just handcuff yourself too? Ugh, anyway Mike submitted himself to sobriety tests which he did not pass. He was arrested and booked and will see a judge later today.

The above mugshot is from December 2004. He basically looks the same, like a total douce.

Source

Posted by: admin


Friday, December 29th 2006

The CAPTION THIS Contest Winner for December 28th!!!

captionyes.jpg

OOOOOOOOOHHHH! Sweet mystery of life at last I’ve found you… - Suavedavey

Runner-up:

I drank too much last night… I got up this morning and I shit a synchronized swimming team… Literally. Now I’ve got this shit covered team down in my office, don’t know what to do with it. - Lizzle

Posted by: admin