Joe Rogan, who got famous for yelling at hos to drink the rat milkshake faster on Fear Factor, has himself a little admirer. An admirer who peeks at his peen in the locker room after Jiu-Jitsu training. Joe tries to play like this bothers his ass, but you know he wants everyone's eyeballs glued to his "hog." But let's play along with Joe.

Joe decided that it was time to catch the hog watcher by recording him in the act. This is where it starts to get really weird. A huge part me (mostly every part but my no-no) thinks this is staged. Why would the boy be so damn obvious while a camera is on him? I know that whenever I play a game of peek-a-peen in the locker room, I always disguise myself as a pile of towels. This kid isn't even trying. But he's probably only staring because Joe's dick is shaped like a pig's tail, which would explain why he keeps calling it a "hog."

And you may want to turn down the volume before hitting play on this wreck. Unless your name is David Beckham, you probably aren't used to the sound of pigs snorting.

via Videogum

This story is as old as time. A world famous superstar sensation turns her hairy back on the one true friend who loved her unconditionally when she was just a lonely cat lady who practiced kissing with her pillow and ate canned tuna for all her meals. But now that she's the toast of the entire world, she has completely forgotten about her soul mate. A tragic tail.

Susan Boyle's rep confirms to The Mirror says that she is no longer living with Pebbles the cat. SuBo is too busy traveling the planet and she's only visited Pebbles three times in the past 7 months. Pebbles now lives with a retired woman who gets paid around $7 a day to care for SuBo's ex-best friend. The woman said that the last time SuBo came around to visit, Pebbles wouldn't even come out to tell the bitch "hi." And do you blame the pussy?

Pebbles probably spent many a lonely night cuddling up next to a furry caterpillar thinking it was one of SuBo's eyebrows. And when the caterpillar would sting her ass, Pebbles would continue to cuddle it. But nothing stings harder than being abandoned by your best friend for the cheap whore known as fame!

Pebbles will get her revenge by putting out an album of angsty chick rock songs about how SuBo did her wrong. Pebbles will be the Alanis Morrissette of 2010.

Tom Brady and Gis Bundchen's exclusivo baby looks like a baby - Popsugar

Kiki sans fards (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Hilary Duff is starting to look like one of the middle-aged Housewives of Orange County - Hollywood Tuna

RiRi is continuing to dress like she's stuck in a k-hole - Just Jared

Brooklyn Decker doesn't even know how to wear a bikini top right and she's still on the cover of Sports Illustrated - Egotastic!

Betty White for President! Oh wait, that's a different petition. Betty White for SNL Host! - Towleroad

Mary Tyler Robot - Lainey Gossip

Lindsay Lohan will recreate this shoot any minute now - Hollywood Rag

Somebody forward this to Brad Pitt - Cityrag

And when American Idol contestants sing off-key, they should have to bend over and get slapped with a cold piece of bologna - I'm Not Obsessed

Fat Actress: The Reality Show - SOW

Meanwhile, Chicken Cutlets gets a coupon book from Ralphs to sit 3rd row at a mini-mall fashion show - Holy Moly!

St. Angie will save Haiti - Socialite Life

Megan Fox's stump thumb is too fugly for Motorola - Celebitchy

If a Christmas tree plays the main villain, then I'm okay with this - ICYDK

via WOW Report

Most people run off to Mexico to escape Billy Bush, but Jennifer Aniston invited him and Access Hollywood's cameras to Los Cabos to celebrate her 41st birthday with her. Hey, that $9,000-a-night villa is not going to pay for itself! Actually, it is going to pay for itself now that Aniston pimped them out on National TV. Note to Chicken Cutlets: If you drop Super 8's name on Public Access, they will give you a free hour!

Anyways, Jenny told Billy that she dragged 50 of her knitting circle buddies to Mexico for her birthday, because she thinks boozing it up will help their economy. And because one of her favorite childrens charities is based in Tijuana. The Angelina Jolie of Tijuana said, "These people survive on us coming down and spending money and coming here to these beautiful places. It sort of made sense to sort of say ‘Hey, let’s help out Mexico. Let’s shout out to these kids in Tijuana at El Faro and you know, have a big…that’s sort of our birthday celebration this year.”

That's what my friend always said when hos would throw him a side-eye after he admitted he buys all his painkillers in Rosarito Beach, Mexico. The dumb bitch would say he was helping the economy. And no, I'm not talking about myself for once (Yes, I am).

My Tivo is lazier than a baby on Ambien, so it did not record last night's premiere of Celebrity Fit Club. Thankfully, TMZ and HuffPo posted what looks like to be the best moment of that mess. It's KFed flaunting his Burger King-approved body. KFed almost gives better side-boob than Salma Hayek.

When talking to the judges about his chunk, KFed joked that he looks like the pregnant man. That joke wasn't not funny, because it's entirely possible that KFed could become the next pregnant dude. Dude's sperm could impregnate a fire hydrant, so I'm sure he could knock himself up. Maybe he was on the wrong reality show. Maybe he should've been on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" instead. There's probably a baby KFed crawling through the sewers right now.

Here's the other "celebrities" of Celebrity Fit Club: Bobby "Doody Bubble Popper" Brown, Jay from Project Runway, some chick from High School Musical, Nicole Eggert, Sebastian Bach, Shar Jackson, and Pop Off from Bad Girls Club.

At least somebody was in the mood for love (in the form of a greasy grope from an obese producer who promises to get you a part in the next Bradley Cooper movie) at last night's Valentine's Day premiere in Hollywood. I really have no idea who this Anna Kulinova swan is, but it doesn't really matter. Googling her name is not going to make me relive all the emotions I felt when I first laid eyes upon her in this stunning frock. This is the true meaning of VD (Valentine's Day)!

I doubt Jennifer Garner, Jessica Beeeeehl or any of the other boring Js at this movie premiere spent their entire night making a figure skating costume out of old taffeta found in the trash can outside of Bobby Trendy's condo and a Fredrick's teddy. Barney's does not carry a dress that makes your nipples look like they are bleeding lace. This is a one-of-a-kind creation!

And you know what makes Anna even more special? The fact that she's smiling like she has no idea her shoes don't match at all! The cab driver must have been one inpatient motherfucker, because he forced Anna to grab a random pair of shoes from her stripper roommate's closet. She wears them beautifully.

Here's more of Anna and the people who only showed up to bask in the glory of her beauty. They are: MiserAlba, Garcelle Beauvais, an overdressed Jessica Biel, Patrick Dempsey, Barbara Eden, Jennifer Garner, McSteamy and Noxzema Girl, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutchie with Demi Moore, Shirley Maclaine, Julia Roberts, Emma Roberts and a bronzer-faced B.Coop.

Snooki has finally found a juiced up Guido meat head to hold her hair when she barfs up last night's Jager shots, kiss her bruises when she gets punched in the mug and sleep on the beach with her when she's too drunk to find her way home.

Snooki and her piece of the moment Emilio Antonio flew into NYC's La Guardia Airport last night looking like two gremlins after drinking an entire bottle of Ed Hardy perfume.

I'm sure these two love dingles will last longer than a herpes outbreak. And I hope Emilio doesn't mind his dick smelling like the Vlasic stork's breath, because Snooki uses pickle juice as lube.

A few weeks ago, an unphotoshopped picture of Vadge's "I'll get you my pretty" face terrorized the internet. And now we've got another one. Although, this one isn't going to make you want to hide your children under their beds.

New York Magazine posted this before and after from Vadge's Louis Vuitton campaign. Even wonk-eyed Vienna Sausage from The Bachelor could clearly see that "after" picture has been covered with layers and layers of Photoshop. They erased the He-Man from her arms, replaced her current face with her True Blue face and then made it rain watercolors all over her.

Personally, I prefer the "before" picture, because Vadge looks like your drunk stepmom after coming back from a costume party where she dressed as a bordello version of Donnie Darko. Vadge is impatiently waiting for you to get her a cup of Alka-Seltzer on the rocks with a splash of gin.

Rich at FourFour has once again spent many long hours away from Winston to put together this supercut starring the hardest working bitch in Hollywood: THE MIRROR! According to film makers, when you close your bathroom medicine cabinet there's a good chance that a monster, a creepy boyfriend (who you suspect is plotting to kill you) or Harrison Ford will be staring back at you.

The truth is, bathroom mirrors don't really scare me. I mean, my bathroom is so damn small that it would be pretty much impossible to successfully creep up behind me. Only an anorexic fly, a dandelion or Gary Coleman on rubber stilts could do it. Since I put it that way, now I'm officially scared of mirrors thanks to my own thoughts.

But I still rip open the shower curtain all dramatic-like just in case a maniac with a machete is behind it. If you're going to go out, you might as well give them some THEATER!