When you are working on a television show the hours are very long and people get to know each other very well. Some get to know each other even more than normal. This new hit network show is one of my favorites and if you have seen it then it is probably one of yours also. Well, on the show there is a C list actor who really has a B list body of work. He is married and has been for awhile. Also on the show is an actress who is much, much younger than our actor but it hasn't stopped them from spending every free moment together in his trailer. She is legal. Barely. (CDAN)

The majority at CDAN seems to think this is about Al Bundy (government name: Ed O'Neill) and his 19-year-old Modern Family co-star Sarah Hyland. I don't even want to think about Al with anybody but Peg, so I'm going to completely ignore the third paragraph in that blind item and guess Kyle MacLachlan and the chick who plays Ana Solis on Desperate Housewives. That image I can deal with.

This director/producer has an admirable list of credits, and is known as a solid family man. However, there’s one aspect of his history that may surprise you. There is a very well-known female actor with whom he is usually credited with helping to make a star. It turns out that the two of them have been carrying on an affair for years. You would have to be really sharp to catch a hint of it in their appearances together, however, as they are both very subtle and very private about it. They’ll be working together again soon. (Blind Gossip)

James Cameron and Gloria Stuart, obviously. Or Garry Marshall and Julia Roberts?

This musician is a very sensitive soul. Apparently, although he pretends to have a very stoic public persona he is actually obsessed with his public image. He follows every possible blog and article written on him and takes it all very personally. When someone comments on a blog, he reads it. He even takes to commenting himself. He does not take criticism well and does all he can to shift with the wave of public opinion. Although this is difficult to those around him, he has found someone who wants just as much attention as he craves, so it works out pretty well. The only sad thing is, if we, the fans were to tell him we thought he should change in any way, he’d probably do it. Not John Mayer. (BuzzFoto)

Michael "Sex, Cannabis and Cake" Buble? Or John Legend? Or Robin Thicke? If you're thinking Kanye, then read the word "stoic" again.....IN CAPS.

Just when Miami finished cleaning the skank slime from their streets left by the Kardashians, they are about to get a new infestation! Movieline is saying that MTV has chosen to terrorize Miami for the second season of Jersey Shore (which will probably get the extremely creative title of: Jersey Shore in South Beach). A source says that MTV has rented a house off of Lincoln Road and is currently installing a Valtrex dispenser in each bathroom. Shooting will begin in May.

The last time I was in Miami, I was shopping for hair dye at Walgreens (don't ask) when some drunk ass tramp in a neon yellow whore dress stumbled up to me and asked if I had seen some Brazilian girl in leather pants. When I started to shake my head "no," the bitch accidentally stepped on my foot. Instead of throwing me an apology, she said, "Why did you do that?" The ho's bref smelled like Parliaments, ground beef and sour apple schnapps. Basically, I'm saying that the Jersey whores will fit right in.

But the citizens of Miami should still walk around like this come May:

You can never be too safe.

Joe Rogan, who got famous for yelling at hos to drink the rat milkshake faster on Fear Factor, has himself a little admirer. An admirer who peeks at his peen in the locker room after Jiu-Jitsu training. Joe tries to play like this bothers his ass, but you know he wants everyone's eyeballs glued to his "hog." But let's play along with Joe.

Joe decided that it was time to catch the hog watcher by recording him in the act. This is where it starts to get really weird. A huge part me (mostly every part but my no-no) thinks this is staged. Why would the boy be so damn obvious while a camera is on him? I know that whenever I play a game of peek-a-peen in the locker room, I always disguise myself as a pile of towels. This kid isn't even trying. But he's probably only staring because Joe's dick is shaped like a pig's tail, which would explain why he keeps calling it a "hog."

And you may want to turn down the volume before hitting play on this wreck. Unless your name is David Beckham, you probably aren't used to the sound of pigs snorting.

via Videogum

This story is as old as time. A world famous superstar sensation turns her hairy back on the one true friend who loved her unconditionally when she was just a lonely cat lady who practiced kissing with her pillow and ate canned tuna for all her meals. But now that she's the toast of the entire world, she has completely forgotten about her soul mate. A tragic tail.

Susan Boyle's rep confirms to The Mirror says that she is no longer living with Pebbles the cat. SuBo is too busy traveling the planet and she's only visited Pebbles three times in the past 7 months. Pebbles now lives with a retired woman who gets paid around $7 a day to care for SuBo's ex-best friend. The woman said that the last time SuBo came around to visit, Pebbles wouldn't even come out to tell the bitch "hi." And do you blame the pussy?

Pebbles probably spent many a lonely night cuddling up next to a furry caterpillar thinking it was one of SuBo's eyebrows. And when the caterpillar would sting her ass, Pebbles would continue to cuddle it. But nothing stings harder than being abandoned by your best friend for the cheap whore known as fame!

Pebbles will get her revenge by putting out an album of angsty chick rock songs about how SuBo did her wrong. Pebbles will be the Alanis Morrissette of 2010.

Tom Brady and Gis Bundchen's exclusivo baby looks like a baby - Popsugar

Kiki sans fards (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Hilary Duff is starting to look like one of the middle-aged Housewives of Orange County - Hollywood Tuna

RiRi is continuing to dress like she's stuck in a k-hole - Just Jared

Brooklyn Decker doesn't even know how to wear a bikini top right and she's still on the cover of Sports Illustrated - Egotastic!

Betty White for President! Oh wait, that's a different petition. Betty White for SNL Host! - Towleroad

Mary Tyler Robot - Lainey Gossip

Lindsay Lohan will recreate this shoot any minute now - Hollywood Rag

Somebody forward this to Brad Pitt - Cityrag

And when American Idol contestants sing off-key, they should have to bend over and get slapped with a cold piece of bologna - I'm Not Obsessed

Fat Actress: The Reality Show - SOW

Meanwhile, Chicken Cutlets gets a coupon book from Ralphs to sit 3rd row at a mini-mall fashion show - Holy Moly!

St. Angie will save Haiti - Socialite Life

Megan Fox's stump thumb is too fugly for Motorola - Celebitchy

If a Christmas tree plays the main villain, then I'm okay with this - ICYDK

via WOW Report

Most people run off to Mexico to escape Billy Bush, but Jennifer Aniston invited him and Access Hollywood's cameras to Los Cabos to celebrate her 41st birthday with her. Hey, that $9,000-a-night villa is not going to pay for itself! Actually, it is going to pay for itself now that Aniston pimped them out on National TV. Note to Chicken Cutlets: If you drop Super 8's name on Public Access, they will give you a free hour!

Anyways, Jenny told Billy that she dragged 50 of her knitting circle buddies to Mexico for her birthday, because she thinks boozing it up will help their economy. And because one of her favorite childrens charities is based in Tijuana. The Angelina Jolie of Tijuana said, "These people survive on us coming down and spending money and coming here to these beautiful places. It sort of made sense to sort of say ‘Hey, let’s help out Mexico. Let’s shout out to these kids in Tijuana at El Faro and you know, have a big…that’s sort of our birthday celebration this year.”

That's what my friend always said when hos would throw him a side-eye after he admitted he buys all his painkillers in Rosarito Beach, Mexico. The dumb bitch would say he was helping the economy. And no, I'm not talking about myself for once (Yes, I am).

My Tivo is lazier than a baby on Ambien, so it did not record last night's premiere of Celebrity Fit Club. Thankfully, TMZ and HuffPo posted what looks like to be the best moment of that mess. It's KFed flaunting his Burger King-approved body. KFed almost gives better side-boob than Salma Hayek.

When talking to the judges about his chunk, KFed joked that he looks like the pregnant man. That joke wasn't not funny, because it's entirely possible that KFed could become the next pregnant dude. Dude's sperm could impregnate a fire hydrant, so I'm sure he could knock himself up. Maybe he was on the wrong reality show. Maybe he should've been on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" instead. There's probably a baby KFed crawling through the sewers right now.

Here's the other "celebrities" of Celebrity Fit Club: Bobby "Doody Bubble Popper" Brown, Jay from Project Runway, some chick from High School Musical, Nicole Eggert, Sebastian Bach, Shar Jackson, and Pop Off from Bad Girls Club.

At least somebody was in the mood for love (in the form of a greasy grope from an obese producer who promises to get you a part in the next Bradley Cooper movie) at last night's Valentine's Day premiere in Hollywood. I really have no idea who this Anna Kulinova swan is, but it doesn't really matter. Googling her name is not going to make me relive all the emotions I felt when I first laid eyes upon her in this stunning frock. This is the true meaning of VD (Valentine's Day)!

I doubt Jennifer Garner, Jessica Beeeeehl or any of the other boring Js at this movie premiere spent their entire night making a figure skating costume out of old taffeta found in the trash can outside of Bobby Trendy's condo and a Fredrick's teddy. Barney's does not carry a dress that makes your nipples look like they are bleeding lace. This is a one-of-a-kind creation!

And you know what makes Anna even more special? The fact that she's smiling like she has no idea her shoes don't match at all! The cab driver must have been one inpatient motherfucker, because he forced Anna to grab a random pair of shoes from her stripper roommate's closet. She wears them beautifully.

Here's more of Anna and the people who only showed up to bask in the glory of her beauty. They are: MiserAlba, Garcelle Beauvais, an overdressed Jessica Biel, Patrick Dempsey, Barbara Eden, Jennifer Garner, McSteamy and Noxzema Girl, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutchie with Demi Moore, Shirley Maclaine, Julia Roberts, Emma Roberts and a bronzer-faced B.Coop.

Snooki has finally found a juiced up Guido meat head to hold her hair when she barfs up last night's Jager shots, kiss her bruises when she gets punched in the mug and sleep on the beach with her when she's too drunk to find her way home.

Snooki and her piece of the moment Emilio Antonio flew into NYC's La Guardia Airport last night looking like two gremlins after drinking an entire bottle of Ed Hardy perfume.

I'm sure these two love dingles will last longer than a herpes outbreak. And I hope Emilio doesn't mind his dick smelling like the Vlasic stork's breath, because Snooki uses pickle juice as lube.