Archives: June 2019

NXIVM Founder Keith Raniere Has Been Found Guilty On All Counts Of Running A Sex Cult

June 19, 2019 / Posted by:

The picture above is a still from an old interview conducted between NXIVM founder and sex cult leader Keith Raniere and his former #1 student/recruiter/branding iron holder Allison Mack. After today, the only interviews he’ll be giving will be through two-way glass, because a Brooklyn jury just found Keith guilty of everything.

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Tony Robbins Makes His Followers Drink A “Gross Shot” As Punishment For Being Losers

June 19, 2019 / Posted by:

Tony Robbins is out here trying to feed the hungry and free the slaves but all BuzzFeed News seems to care about are his unorthodox teaching methods which may or may not include alleged groping, unwanted sexual advances, and showing his dong to female employees. Now Tony’s facing claims that he punishes followers who fail to live up to expectations by using the tried-and-true cult method of public humiliation. Tony pulls them on stage and makes them drink something called a “gross shot”. According to BuzzFeed, Tony’s followers are led to believe that gross shots are packed with laxatives and many who drink the “unidentified brown liquid” become ill. Tony doesn’t deny he uses “gross shots” as a motivator, but his lawyers swear it’s a harmless concoction comprised of, in part, pickle juice and Tabasco. And it’s absolutely not made from his precious bodily fluids like I was afraid it would be.

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Tommy Lee Brags That His Wife Is Totally Organic

June 19, 2019 / Posted by:

Legend has it that one time when Tommy Lee was vacationing in Vancouver, the 460-foot  Capilano Suspension Bridge collapsed, leaving many people unable to get to the other side. Tommy simply shrugged, pulled out his life-saving dick, lasso’d it to the other side, and accepted warm hugs of gratitude from the people who safely got across by walking on his temporary bridge dick. So, you’d think that a dude with a big dick wouldn’t feel like he has anything to prove, but even big dick-havers feel like they have something to prove for no reason. Case in point: 56-year-old Tommy Lee posted a picture of his 32-year-old wife of 4 months Brittany Furlan in a two-piece, and let us all know that she’s so natural, organic, and grass-fed that even Gwyneth Paltrow would eat her.

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Jennifer Aniston Is Too Busy To Be Dating Right Now

June 19, 2019 / Posted by:

It’s been sixteen months since Jennifer Aniston called it quits with her possibly-not-legal second husband Justin Theroux. Since then, Jen has been single. If you ask any one of the tabloids why she’s single, they’ll probably roll their eyes and tell you that’s just what Jen wants you to believe to throw you off the scent of her secret reunion with  Brad Pitt. But if you ask Jen, she might tell you it’s because she’s just too busy for dating.

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People Are Eating Tubs Of “Mayonnaise” At Sporting Events For Twitter Fame

June 19, 2019 / Posted by:

People are bringing large tubs of “mayonnaise” to sporting events and eating what they want you to think is mayonnaise out of said tub. Presumably as a prank or to get attention on social media. And honestly, I don’t know much about sports but it feels disrespectful to mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is meant to be enjoyed in moderation and not eaten tubs at a time. And if you’re going to eat straight mayonnaise from a tub, do it where no one can see you, like under your bed or in an alley late at night. Not at a public baseball game!

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