Nicolas Cage’s 4-Day Wife Erika Koike Wants Spousal Support

In a move that should shock nobody with even the littlest ounce of mental and physical awareness, Nicolas Cage‘s wife of four days, Erika Koike, is going after his money. Yes, they were only married for 96 hours before Nic decided to pull the plug, but those were magical and all the time before that counts and she has become accustomed to a certain lifestyle and now she needs his money to maintain it so there!

TMZ is saying that Erika is going for gold in the Gold Digger Olympics and has requested spousal support even though Nic is trying to annul their marriage.

Nic has been married three times before, to Alice Kim, Lisa Marie Presley and Patricia Arquette. He had been dating Erika since April 2018 when he decided that the fourth time was going to be the charm and that it was time to wed her at the end of March. What should have been a romantic moment turned into a scene from The Maury Povich Show but still ended in marriage (so it was like a particularly romantic episode of The Maury Povich Show). It took four days for Nic to realize this was a bad choice and he asked for an annulment.

Erika wasn’t going to let all her hard work go for nothing, so I’m guessing this girl called her lawyer the day of the annulment filing and was like: “So what are we going to do about this?”

Nic claimed in his annulment documents that he “reacted on impulse and without the ability to recognize or understand the full impact of his actions,” which is like: “duh”. And he also said that Erika was shady and the marriage was based on “fraud”. Considering that not even People magazine could put together a total of five facts about this girl, I have to think that she’s some kind of secret spy or chameleon fembot.

Erika has countered Nic’s claims saying that impulse control issues do not an annulment make and says that he reached out to her 12 days after he filed for an annulment saying that he wanted to start again “in the right way” and thus their relationship could not possibly be a fraud! But! While Erika says that the relationship wasreal, she doesn’t want it to be anymore. She agrees they need to break up but she wants it to be labeled “divorce” and she wants several decimal points listed next to the words “spousal Support”.

She is saying that she lost “career opportunities” during her “long” relationship with Nic and that her reputation has been “damaged by his allegations.” She also wants legal fees.

So listen, I think she’s technically correct. I don’t know anything about this woman, so I can just assume that her two career opportunities are: gold digger, and secret spy. She can’t be a gold digger now that the cat is out of the bag, and secret spies know what she looks like now.

Regardless how this ends someone is making off like a bandit. Either Nicolas Cage will dodge the biggest bullet he’s ever faced, or Erika Koike will achieve her goal. I wish them both luck and pray that those out here with sense will stop getting drunk and married in Las Vegas! Isn’t there a law against this by now? For God’s sake!

Pic: TMZ