Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Joey, a magical unicorn sheep who was bought with two cases of beer!

This may sound like that age old tale of drunken mess getting taken by drunken messes wanting beer from him by telling him they’ll trade him for an ethereal unicorn sheep from the enchanted forest who is really a stray dog in a sheep costume and a fake horn fascinator. But this is a tale about an actual unicorn sheep and the Australian farmer who saved him from death!

A South Australian farmer and stock agent (someone who buys farm animals or some shit) by the name of Michael Foster tells Channel 7 Adelaide that he was checking out a flock of sheep to possibly buy when a rainbow appeared overhead, little faeries sprinkled glitter above his head, and the whistle yodel of Mariah Carey gently caressed his ear tunnels as he laid his eyes upon the magical being known as Joey the unicorn sheep!

Joey’s owner was about to send him to the slaughterhouse to be turned into mutton, but his owner agreed to let Michael have him for just two cases of beer. I’m not sure what the price history of unicorn sheep buying is, but I’m sure that two cases of beer set the record for the lowest price ever. Joey’s original owner could’ve demanded the heart of a virgin, the plucked wings from a nymph, and a strand of Mariah’s hair, and I’d still be like, “Michael got off cheap!”

Michael said this about Mariah Carey’s favorite animal ever (I mean, a unicorn AND a lamb?!):

“I thought it might have been a joke to start with, but I thought, ‘yeah it looks like a unicorn.’  I’ve been a stock agent for about six years and it is definitely the first time I have come across anything like it. To the best of our knowledge, it is the only one in Australia.”

Animal DNA experts tells Channel 7 (this is not true) that Joey just isn’t a sheep whose horn happen to grow on the top of his head. He truly has unicorn blood! Behold, his majestic magic!

Sheep Unicorn

Australia is known for having all types of weird and wonderful animals but this latest discovery may just take the cake. A unicorn sheep has been uncovered in Burra and it is already drawing plenty of attention. Story: 7news.link/akJZnG#Burra #7NEWS

Posted by 7NEWS Adelaide on Sunday, April 14, 2019

Michael plans to show Joey off at pageants and may even sell unicorn rides to the kids. Um, isn’t that the plot of Dumbo? No, keep the brats off of Joey. Besides, if Michael sells unicorn sheep rides, one of those brats may get all handsy and accidentally pull off the horn that Joey glued to his head to trick stupid humans into thinking he’s a unicorn sheep so they won’t send him to the slaughterhouse. We don’t want that!

Pic: Facebook

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