I mean, if we’re going to get into a mess involving Trump, Cher, and immigration, we may as well first dust our eyes with some bodyguard hotness and perfectly plucked man brows. Now that our eyes have been cleaned, let’s shit them up!
Cher has long been a liberal warrior who uses Twitter to trash Trump while pushing our brains to their breaking point as we try to figure out what the hell she’s trying to say (but by now many of us are fluent in Twitter Cher). But the other day, Cher cher’d her thoughts on immigration and received slow claps from Trump supporters like James Woods, and even got a cheer from Jabba the Trump himself. It truly is the time to be a parka salesperson in Hell, because so much weird shit is happening (like Trump blowing an air kiss at Cher) and it proves that Hell hasn’t reached above 30 degrees Fahrenheit in ages.
This all started last week when Trump suggested that undocumented immigrants in custody be moved to sanctuary cities like Los Angeles. Cher, who once tweeted that people who can take in a DREAMer should do just that, walked out onto the balcony of her Malibu mansion, and looked below at all of the homeless people (who were honestly just a group of hipsters stumbling into Nobu) and thought that her city can’t even take care of its own, so how is it going to take care of immigrants? (Cut to Cher’s Malibu neighbor Caitlyn Jenner raising a glass of Chardonnay like, “Welcome to the GOP, bitch!”) Trump busted out a dick fart of glee over Cher falling into his trap:
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 15, 2019
And when Trump’s followers began to let Cher know that she’s finally seen the orange light, she tried to clarify saying that she doesn’t believe in putting babies in cages, but is against Trump dropping unvetted immigrants into her city as an act of revenge.
Either you can’t read, or English isnt your primary Language.I Said nothing about turning in Immigrants living in my city Over to ICE.We Don’t Kidnap babies & Put them in cages, Which is different than wanting trump to drop thousands of ppl who haven’t been vetted into my city
— Cher (@cher) April 15, 2019
There must be a process.Ppl who are looking 4 asylum,& Qualify,must be given access 2 judges,&properly interviewed. Then They can be sent”EVENLY” 2cities🇺🇸.Not Just THOUSANDS Bussed 2Calif,NY,Etc 4 revenge. These are ppl.WE ARE SANCTUARY CITIES BECAUSE WE DONT THROW PPL 2 DOGS
— Cher (@cher) April 15, 2019
And she ended with this:
I AGREE… THAT DEMS STILL DONT GET,THEY’RE PLAYING POLITICS,& trump’s PLAYING
BUTCHER YOUR ENEMIES& CREATE CONSTANT MAYHEM. HE’S IGNORANT THUG WITH LIZARD BRAIN THAT GUARANTEES HIS SURVIVAL ABOVE ALL ELSE.IF DEMS R WAITING 4 HIM 2 HAVE EPIPHANY,GOOD FKNG🍀.
HE HAS🖤&SOUL OF☠️
— Cher (@cher) April 16, 2019
I think I know what she meant by “lizard brain,” but still. Cher has done it now. Soon she will find millions of lizards, led by The Alien Lizard King, outside of her mansion, shaking their lizard brain-carrying heads over her comparing them to Trump! That’s if climate change doesn’t get to their brains first.