Angelina Jolie Is Now Pitt-Less

April 16, 2019 / Posted by:

You’re not going to have Angelina Jolie-Pitt to kick around anymore! You’re going to have to save your petty scorn for somebody else (I’m looking at you, Chelsea), because that woman no longer exists. Us Weekly reports that Angie’s legally rid herself of the Pitt name. This is probably the closest she’ll come to erasing the whole sordid affair short of commissioning an enormous wicker basket and leaving all of her children on the steps of a church.

Angie’s legal name now matches her Hackers credit. She’s just plain old Angelina Jolie now. However, I wouldn’t take this development to mean she really doesn’t want Brad Pitt back. Imagine the added drama of having changed her name, reuniting, and then changing it again, this time dropping the Jolie! Alas, somehow I doubt even Angelina would go that far.

The Blast, which was the first to report the news of Jolie’s name change, asserts it was “very important for the stars to emotionally break away from each other and begin their new single lives, so the documents were fast-tracked with their private judge.”

The children’s last names will continue to be the hyphenated Jolie-Pitt, according to The Blast

I guess the fact that the kids will still bear the Pitt name means Angie will continue to be forced to tremulously write it every time she has to sign the kids up for Chamicuro lessons or Lesothoian passports.

For her part, Jolie is viewing every day with her six kids as “a new adventure,” a source told Us earlier this month. “[She] really likes the life lessons and new ideas that come from trying all different things,” the source added. “The sky’s the limit for her.”

Oh good, there’s a limit. That means Brad can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that his children won’t be moving to the International Space station without his consent.

Pic: Wenn.com

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