Hot Slut Of The Day!

The criminal Roomba!

I have a Roomba (“Oooooh, you rich.” – my aunt after finding out that I have a Roomba) and it is a havoc-making drunk mess. It stumbles all over the place in a nonsensical route, it regularly bumps into my dog’s water bowl, causing water to drip everywhere, and then it drags the water all over the place causing an even bigger, dirtier mess. Once it’s done trying to dehydrate my dog to death while nasty-ing up my floors some more, it moves on to the electrical cords and pulls them out of their sockets. Bitch is a menace and a wreck (even more of a wreck than I am), but I still keep it around because it picks up the one thing of dust that I can easily pick up with a broom and dust plan before saying to people, “Oh yes, my Roomba saves me so much time!” But one Roomba really caused a scene and the scene was so big that the cops were called!

The Washington County Sheriff’s Office in Oregon wrote in a Facebook post that a woman called 911 all scared-like because she thought an intruder was in her bathroom with the door locked. The woman could see the intruder’s shadows through the crack in the bathroom door! She could also probably hear the intruder slowly strangling the ever loving cotton life out of her bathroom mat. It was a MAT DOWN CODE 10 situation.

Several officers showed up to the scene and surrounded the house, and a dog cop even got involved. Cops got in front of the bathroom door with guns drawn, heard “rustling” coming from inside, and ordered the suspect to come out with its hands up. There was one little problem with that. The suspect didn’t have hands to put up, let alone to open up the door with. When the suspect illegally ignored them and continued to rustle it up, they broke down the bathroom door and found the highly dangerous suspect!

Roombas are built for that criminal life, because they can clean up their own prints and not leave a trace! The Roomba was arrested and jailed in its charging dock.

But the thing is, was the woman who thought the Roomba was an intruder housesitting or was she was on some kind of shit? Because the noise that the Roomba makes is a noise that I cannot forget and haunts me even when it’s off.

With that being said, that Roomba was obviously up to no good and was cleaning up the evidence before barricading itself in that bathroom and defying the human police. The robot takeover has begun!

Pic: Best Buy