“Grease” Is Getting A Movie Prequel Because Ruining Things Is Fun

April 10, 2019 / Posted by:

The 1978 classic movie musical Grease is getting a prequel, because leaving well enough alone is not something Hollywood is interested in fucking with anymore, and for the sake of $$$ they really think we want to know why Olivia Newton-John got so hard up for John Travolta that she changed herself to be with him and later ended up chained up to radiator at Gold Base after she tried to leave him because she didn’t want to be in Scientology anymore (I’m guessing that’s what happens in the follow-up to Grease).

According to The Hollywood Reporter

The studio’s division Paramount Players has put into development a Grease prequel, titled Summer Loving, and has tapped John August, the veteran writer behind such films as Big Fish and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, to pen the script.

Ok, so I know Grease did have some recent success with the 2016 live TV version of the musical, which got huge ratings and even won five Emmys. Not to mention that Grease 2 is a masterpiece. But it seems like the plot line for prequel is a bit of a stretch:

“However, in the early part of the movie, in a he-said/she-said manner, Zuko and Olsson both recount to their friends a summer fling they had via the song Summer Nights.” Zuko’s tale is more graphic, while Olsson’s is much innocent and wistful.

The prequel’s story is said to tackle that fateful meeting.”

Umm.. I thought we did tackle that fateful meeting WITH THE SONG SUMMER NIGHTS? How much more is there to discuss?

Instead of doing a prequel, they should be doing a story about the aging lives of the Grease characters. Like did Frenchie the beauty school drop out, ever go back to school? Or has she dropped out and lived a life of beauty school drop out crime? Stealing blow dryers and hair clips to sell for her crack/cocaine problem? Or has she talked to a therapist about her dream where a big dicked Frankie Avalon mocks an emotionally vulnerable teenager about her life/career choices? Cause she should really work through that with a professional. But for real, she’s probably an elderly Instagram influencer. Frenchie seems the type.

Or maybe Danny Zuko becomes a closeted man who enjoys massage therapists and also joins a religious cult? Or Sandy leaves Danny and finds true love with a man who fakes his own death to avoid Mexican authorities. And you know Rizzo has some stories, because she was obviously a grown ass woman pretending to be a teenager. Walk me through her life instead of a summer fling that was already explained to us through a catchy song. Although, we already have her biopic: it’s called Strangers With Candy.

Who knows though maybe a summer love story between two star crossed teenage lovers will warm my cold back heart and if it turns out to be the messiest of messes…I’m also here for that.

Pic: Paramount

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