Night Crumbs
Guess who went from looking like a shifty peen head with a stache to looking like a shifty peen head without a stache? And the good news is that it was an April Fool’s joke so he can still give you that mustache ride, you sick fuck! – SOW
Garrett Hedlund is still suffering from amnesia, I see, and hasn’t realized that he’s dating THAT Emma Roberts yet – Lainey Gossip
Sophie Turner is doing it all wrong! You’re supposed to pair floral Docs with shredded jean coochie cutters under biker shorts and a Nirvana t-shirt with a flannel tied around your waist. Everyone knows that! – Popoholic
Christina Applegate and Linda Cardenelli joined forces to do a dark comedy about grief and MYSTERY, and even though it looks like Linda Cardenelli is totally the hit-and-run driver who killed Christina Applegate’s husband, I’m into it and will watch every second of it – Pajiba
I’m going to need Sir Richard Attenborough to narrate the moment when Farrah Abraham’s plastic ass ate a green snake – Drunken Stepfather
Buffalo Niagara International Airport banned Chick-Fil-A too – Towleroad
Oh, it’s just starving artist Emily RideAJetSki doing artist stuff – Hollywood Tuna
The reason for why The Rolling Stones have pressed pause on future tour dates is because Mick Jagger needs a valve replacement and he’ll be out for a bit. Keith Richards probably laughed at that because he replaced his own valve himself backstage at a gig using vodka as an antiseptic AND as liquid anesthesia – Celebitchy
Just when you thought Lauren Conrad was beige only capable of beigeness, she pulls a little funny shadiness by announcing she’s pregnant on the same day that the trailer for The Hills came out – Just Jared
Pic: Instagram