God bless America and our public school system! Kids have it hard enough nowadays what with the temptation to vape, their enemies dunking on them on Snapchat, and having to live in a country run by a certifiable mess. And now their education is threatened before they even get into the scohol!
Danny Amendola is a good-lookin’ slab of NFL player and just now revealed himself as crazy which is always a good combo in a man. Nothing like a hot guy with a crazy streak! The cops will get called eventually but the sex is usually way good prior to that unfortunate moment. Danny dug deep into his failed relationship with his ex Olivia Culpo in a since-deleted Instagram post. As well as insulting her current boyfriend. He misspelled his insult but we’ll still take it.
Two-time Oscar nominated writer and director John Singleton, who gave us Boyz n the Hood, Poetic Justice, Higher Learning and Baby Boy, is reportedly laid up in the hospital after suffering a stroke. So light your Poetic Justice prayer candle (yes, I’m checking to see if Etsy has one and filing a complaint if they don’t) for the man who brought us one of the best lines in cinematic history: “You wanna smell my punane?”
The Beyhive got their stingers in a twist when their Google alerts went all dingy this week with the vicious claim that Ariana Grande got paid twice as much as their leader Beyonce to headline Coachella. I mean, it makes sense, since Ariana had the best four members of NSYNC in her Coachella show, and Beyonce didn’t even TRY to get O-Town for hers. But because this is not a belated April Fool’s Day prank, and anyone on their meds would know that we are living in real life world and not The Upside Down, of course there is no way in Hell, on God’s Green Earth, or while Beyonce is still living and breathing (and probably into the Afterlife, who are we kidding) that type of wage gap disparity would actually happen to the Queen of the Honey
The shockingly dismayed by the #MeToo movement Roman Polanski must have some huge, old-dude, pendulous balls swinging low because he’s suing the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences to re-join their esteemed ranks. If you’ll recall, Roman was booted from Oscars HQ in May of 2018 for the sex abuse of a 13-year-old girl case that’s been hanging over his head and caused him to flee the US way back in the disco years. Polanski had threatened this and finally pulled the trigger. Everyone who gave him that standing “O” has hopefully found their seats by now.
Get thee to Angie’s List to book a contractor who can put your house on stilts. Build yourself an ark and get your family and any animals that won’t bite you on it. Learn how to scuba dive. Because Adele and her husband have separated and the album she’s going to get out of this will cause so many tears that the Earth will be covered in a salty flood.