If you saw that “Gronk” was trending on Twitter yesterday and thought to yourself, “Is that the guy from Emperor’s New Groove? Why is he trending?” I have news for you: That character’s name is Kronk. With a K.
29-year-old Rob Gronkowski announced that he’s retiring from the game of football and apparently people care. TMZ is reporting that my uncle is finally going to read one of my posts on this site because it’s about one of his favorite football players retiring. The New England Patriot tight end (which is also the name of my Grindr profile) announced on Instagram that he is leaving pro football after almost ten years in the sport.
The Gronk started back in 2010 when he was 20 and is ready to hang up his helmet and no longer slam his body into another man’s body and cause irreparable brain damage for millions of dollars:
Head Bitch of the New England Patriots, Tom Brady, wasn’t going to let Gronk get all the attention, so he also put up an Instagram post thanking Gronk for his service to the team:
And now Gronk will go on to do his thing. AKA: collect checks from endorsements and do nothing even remotely close to being considered work, except for showing up as a celebrity cameo in bro-related television series. Or maybe he’ll just focus on his true passion (partying it up bro-style) and make his Gronk’s Party Ship a yearly thing… at least until it gets overrun by hard-partying pirates.
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