I wonder if these are the kinds of antics we should prepare ourselves for as the impending union of Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez threatens us off in the distance. The couple, who will probably strap mirrors to each others’ faces when they read their vows, are already starting with the name dropping by claiming former presidential couple Barack and Michelle Obama have sent them well wishes for a long and happy marriage, which probably made JLo chuckle in her soul.
Since we live in the era of oversharing, I think if this actually happened, and JLo isn’t practicing forgery as a side hustle for extra cash, they didn’t need to tell the world about it. However, according to E! News, Barack and Michelle wanted to give their engagement a stamp of approval by sending a handwritten note of congratulations. As soon as it arrived, I can see A-Rod fumbling immediately to whip out his phone and hit up Instagram to let everyone know how cool he is because a former president sent him a letter like it’s the 1800s.
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Just in case your eyes squint really hard at fancy cursive writing, here’s what the letter says;
“Jennifer & Alex. Michelle and I just wanted to congratulate you on your engagement. After 26 years together, we can say that whatever challenges life may bring, sharing them with someone you love makes it all better. All the best.”
And so it begins, the showcase showdown of items and celebrity guest stars we can expect as they prepare the world for their union. This week it will be a letter from the Obamas, next week it will be a Costco-sized tin of tea from Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan. All of this will ultimately lead up to the day of their wedding, which will more than likely be streamed live and officiated by Jesus himself. And of course, since J.Lo and A-Rod will need to recoup the millions they’ll spend on this wedding, there will be a stand at each entrance of the reception hall with people selling their line of sunglasses like they’re boxes of Girl Scout cookies.