Every time I see Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins and Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas of TLC, it makes me sad because it reminds me that third member Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes is no longer with us. However, their story has been told many, many times before to the point where I don’t necessarily need to hear it again so I can bust out in tears around the part where Left Eye dies. In other words, please stop depressing us. Well, that’s not happening. However, this time they’re changing things up by bringing the drama to Broadway.
I’m really not sure how many other ways they can say “We were broke y’all!” because there have already been magazine articles, Behind The Music episodes, a documentary that focused on Left Eye’s spirituality, and a VH1 TV movie that should have covered everything. But in a recent interview with Cheddar (via Page Six), Chilli and forever hotness Nelly discussed an upcoming tour featuring TLC, Nelly and Frat House anthem King Flo Rida premiering this summer that I can only assume will be called Oldhead Fest 2019. During the interview, the two of them revealed that they were grateful their music still stands the test of time, and then Chilli revealed that she and T-Boz are planning to take their story to Broadway. Chilli says that the Broadway show will have new songs in it. This is probably when the interviewer looked at her with a very blank expression that read “But, we already know everything.” That’s when Chilli went into crisis management mode to assure everyone this wasn’t going to be another remix of some shit we’ve all heard before.
“We didn’t tell everything,” she said. “We have so many stories to tell. We didn’t tell it all in our biopic we did with VH1. A lot of good stuff. It’s gonna be very emotional but a good ride.”
She added, “I’m very excited that. I almost can’t believe it. I’m like, ‘What!’”
So with Britney Spears, Alanis Morissette, and now TLC coming to Broadway, the Great White Way will have to now be called the Great Now That’s What I Call Music! Way. But I’m sure there will be many fans wearing condoms over their left eye (bought at the merch stand for $75 each) while sitting in the audience. Now that I think about it, they should charge $175 for those branded condoms sold at the merch stand, because they’re going to need to pay more legal fees when Pebbles inevitably sues them for this.