YouTuber Shane Dawson Says His Bestiality Story Was Just A Joke 

March 18, 2019 / Posted by:

All together now: RUUUUN, CAT, RUUUUUUUUUUUN!

30-year-old Shane Dawson (pronounced “WHO?!” to us olds) is one of the biggest (and probably one of the richest) YouTubers with over 21 million subscribers. And like many big YouTubers, he has mouth sharted up some foolery which he has had to give a totally real and genuine apology for. Shane had to put on his best sowwwy face to apologize for doing blackface repeatedly and for things he’s said about pedophilia. And yesterday, Shane, who came out as bisexual in 2015, had to once again try to save his YouTube Kingdom with a sorry after a clip came out of him telling the tale of the first time he got on pussy, and by pussy I mean an actual cat. Again: RUUUUN, CAT, RUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Someone put on a pair of rubber gloves and dipped into 2015 to pull out a clip from Shane’s podcast Shane and Friends of him talking about how when he was 19 years old, he assaulted his cat by dry humping and cumming on her. Shane’s delivery is less “IT’S JUST AN EDGY JOKE” and sounds like him seriously talking about the time he was in a horrifying and illegal scene straight out of Animal Planet Presents Law & Order: SVU.

After that clip spread everywhere and the kids declared Shane Dawson as “canceled,” the Lena Dunham of YouTube decided to give his bottle of glycerine tears the day off, and instead of issuing a teary-eyed apology video, he burped up a stream of tweets where he said it was just a joke and he’s not a cat rapist.

I’d like to think that if Shane Dawson really did hump his cat, the story would end with him saying he has a Frankenpeen now, because Lorena Bobcat rightfully clawed his dick off and it had to be re-attached. Joking or not, Shane Dawson’s YouTube Kingdom will be fine, because the 12-year-olds who watch him would defend him even if he posted a video of him pissing on kittens while in blackface as R. Kelly.

And if we thought 2018 was a clusterfuck of messiness, 2019 showed up with a tweet from someone who had to let us know that he didn’t fuck his cat and didn’t cum on his cat. This world. This year.

Pic: Instagram

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