Hot Slut Of The Day!
Redd, the glamorous ginger wench turned glamorous ginger pirate queen from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland!
If sidewalks had feelings (“You stupid, uncaring bitch! Sidewalks do have feelings!” – sidewalk activists), they’d dread this day all year long, because it’s the day that lightweight drunken messes spew yeasty green barf all over them in between guzzling glass after glass of the yeast infection of a lady leprechaun (green beer) during a pub crawl. It’s the Feast of Saint Patrick today (and I guess St. Patrick only feasted on booze), and in honor of this day, I’m going to pay tribute to an Irish icon: REDD!
Growing up, we only lived about 30 minutes from Disneyland, so I was lucky enough to go a few times. My mother will show you the scar she has from the kidney-removing surgery she went through to sell her organs to take us to Disneyland. Thee main attraction for me on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride was always the stunning vision of pink and ginger glamour known as “The Redhead” in the “Take A Wench For A Bride” scene. The scene was made up of women being sold as brides, and as some dudes hissed at a BBW being auctioned off, others whistled at the ginger epitome of saloon girl glamour.
At the time, I didn’t know that scene was busting out some human trafficking shit. I was just wowed by the old-timey Christina Hendricks who was perfection to me from her rubber rod-made ginger curls to her magical arch brows that made her look like she just mainlined coffee. Below is a video showing The Redhead in action:
As many of you know, Disneyland scrubbed away that scene last year after complaints of how sexist and fat-shaming it was. They replaced that scene with a scene of pirates forcing the townspeople to give up their stuff to an auctioneer. And The Redhead was transformed into a drunken ginger pirate queen from Ireland named Redd who is the leader behind that act of criminal thievery and tells the auctioneer to auction off more rum instead of stupid hens nobody cares about.
Redd was inspired by real-life Irish pirate Anne Bonney. Disneyland also continues to be the weirdest place on earth because it’s where children can get a picture with this criminal queen!
Disney’s reportedly working on a Johnny Depp-less Pirates reboot, and it’s obvious that Redd should replace him. It’s also obvious that Disney should be throwing all the money at Phoebe Price to play her. And if PP played Redd, she wouldn’t have to force the townspeople to give up their stuff. The townspeople would gladly hand over their goods just for being in the presence of such ginger beauty!
Pic: Fandom