It’s been a minute since Whoopi Goldberg was on The View, and that’s because she had a pneumonia so bad that she was basically staring the Grim Reaper in the face. I guess Death decided if Whoopi can hold a day job with those hyenas on the panel, pneumonia sure as shit isn’t going to be what brings her down. She’s on the mend and even dropped by the show today to kind of announce her return, if you can manage to hear it through Meghan McCain’s war whooping.
ABC News said Whoopi appears to have surprised everyone, including the gaggle of ladies, because just as Joy Behar mentioned she was feeling better and might return in a week or two, she popped out from backstage, and pandemonium ensued. Honestly, I thought Meghan was going to flip a table since she’s made it clear Whoopi is her favorite, and liberal Joy serving as interim moderator puts a giant Democratic Socialist bee in Meghan’s neocon bonnet.
It’s honestly a miracle Meghan didn’t knock over pregnant Abby Huntsman during her shriek sprint to Whoopi. Whoopi gave a little rundown of what’s been going on:
“There’s death and here’s me. That’s how it was. This was like, really bad. … The scariest moment was my doctor saying to me, ‘You do realize how close to death you were?’ That was like, ‘Uh, no.’ I actually hadn’t thought of it. You need to think of it.”
Whoopi talked about how one lung was essentially filled with fluid, and she was in the hospital for ages getting it worked out. Of course, I’m petty and giggled at her saying, “I really kinda missed y’all” which means she didn’t and she’d like to just have to appear no more than five minutes going forward on that show. She’s going to ease back into the show and possibly show up on Monday.
Whoopi then used her time on the show to basically rail against the healthcare system and how something magical needs to be done to fix it, and Meghan had to just sit there and nod since it’s rude to interrupt the woman recovering from pneumonia. Finally, Whoopi pulled a “Seacrest out!” to leave, Meghan called Whoopi the “First Lady of the View,” and Joy threw her a look that screamed “I was here when you arrived, and I’ll be here when you leave.”